It's been one week...

[LavenderBlue]

It's been one week...

Thank you SoberSoul, and that's exactly how I've been approaching it. I've had a few people say or imply that I must not "really have a problem" and I decided...I don't really care what they think when it's a huge problem for me. I know I'm sick of my drinking and I know I've had trouble stopping in the past. I know it's getting in the way of things I'd rather be doing and it's doing a number on my body in the process. That thinking also saves me from thinking "Well....maybe I'm not actually 'that bad'." Doesn't matter, what matters is that I quit and that I know I haven't been able to do it on my own without a plan.

And you're right that this last week has lasted forever! Not only in a bad way though, just I have so much more time all of a sudden even with sleeping way late. Funny how that works, eh?

And also congrats on getting to a better place yourself!

[sunshinedaisies]

It's been one week...

Lav - I have had a really tough couple of days - I go AF for about 4 .... then drink. Then go AF again for 4 - then drink and I will drink for either one or two evenings - but a couple of things that you said are really good and I have written them down BIG. One was that it is a Life Choice - not something I am denying myself - that is good. the other thing is that AF is something I want seeing as I cannot have AL in a healthy way ..... I LOVE both of those and have them on a post-it by my computer.....

A huge well done to you - you should be really proud of yourself - to try, and to quit and to stay quit for a week the first time - just wonderful!

:l:l Sun XX

[LavenderBlue]

It's been one week...

Thank you, Sunshine! If anything I said helped, I'm so glad! I'm just kinda babbling whatever is in my head here, but I've also been doing a lot of reading here and also books I picked up. Drowning myself in so many different people talking about how they quit or why they want to quit seems like it helps keep my brain in a good place for it?

I can't say it hasn't been tempting for me; I'm really prone to the "Oh hey, I made it a few days...that means I'm ok right? I can totally have just a little now!"

It's partly that I'm stubborn, not even really joking about that in my sig. First I really wanted to make it a week, now I really want to make it two weeks. Usually my stubbornness gets me in trouble, it's about time it did something good for me.

But I think most of it is things that I wasn't on here yet for. It wasn't all because of the drinking, but I'm in a place here where I'm unemployed, I'm not married or dating anyone, I'm up to my ears in debt, and I'm living with my mom - and now it's not just to help her, it's because I got myself stuck here even if she didn't need me around. And...I'll never have a chance at any part of life that I value if I keep sitting around and drinking. It's scary to think about actually rebuilding my life without AL to help smooth things along...but the AL has only gotten in the way the last couple years. If it was going to help, I wouldn't still be right here.

Sorry to get all serious, but partly I can find it in myself to be so sure of this because I pretty much am out of any other options if you want the truth. And I really REALLY hate the corner I backed myself into. I don't exactly recommend the "keep drinking until you literally can't think of anything else that might help you out other than quitting," method though!

*hugs* We can both do this, and I hope you're proud that you're still trying.