I swear I had all these thoughts that I planned on sharing when I got to 2 weeks and now I can't think of half of them. :P
My appetite is starting to normalize, which is good, and I'm starting to have a bit more energy instead of feeling like death all the time. It's hard to balance being gentle with myself with other obligations I have, sometimes. I know if I try to do too much I'll get overwhelmed which will make it harder to stick to my quit...but the longer I'm sober, the more the things I've put off so long bother me. For now, I'm going with something I was trying before it occurred to me that sober would help - pick 3 things a day that I've been putting off and I want to get done. Nothing HUGE, either; just three reasonably sized things. If I feel ok after that, then I can pick something else. It sounds silly...but it's a good place to start instead of just feeling overwhelmed or trying to do everything at once.
My sleep is still somewhat off, but it's really amazing how much better I can function in the morning even if I'm out of it or didn't get enough sleep. And there has NEVER been a morning where I thought "Gee, really wish I'd had a drink last night!"
I'm also still kind of juggling how much I can be there for other people. I had a casual friend ask if he could call me today because he wanted relationship advice and I had to tell him that I'm kinda juggling some health issues right now and I'm not in a good place to do that. "No," is a really hard thing for me to say and I'm really having to work on some of my people-pleasing tendencies. I can't be everything for everyone, though; and I keep trying to remember that while I work on my quit it's ok if I only have the brains/energy for close friends and family. I expect that the longer I'm sober, the more willing I'll be to let go of friendships that probably aren't so great for me which would also not be a bad thing. I can think of a few folks that I'm literally just friends with them because it feels like it would be mean not to be.
Having to watch my smoking now since I decided not to quit that at the same time. I want to give myself at least a full month sober before I start really working on cutting back, but that doesn't mean I can't watch it now. I've quit smoking before so I know it's something I can do...but like drinking, it'll only work when I really commit to it.
My interactions with my one friend have gotten super noticeably better, at least on my side. It's always felt a bit like I had to try really hard not to like him as more than a friend and I was constantly trying to debate if having a really good friend was worth that or not? My emotions are evening out more now and I can better appreciate the friendship without having to try for it as hard - AND also let myself enjoy that we're not dating since that also frees me up. It was really bothering me before because I never used to have trouble being friends with guys...I'm getting to see now that a lot of my sadness and panic were coming from out of the bottle, and not just because I'm nervous after the bad relationship I had. I feel like I'm a better friend to him now AND without feeling like I'm doing something horribly unhealthy for myself so win-win.
I talked about it some in the Nest already, but my AL brain is definitely starting to get cranky with me. It's playing the "surely in a couple years you should be able to drink just a glass" game, but with encouragement from everyone here, I'm telling it no. I think it's trying to get just a foot in the door with the idea that it's "safe" to think about it "in the future," but I think that anything that makes AL sound like a good option is harmful to me sticking to my quit. "Someday" opens the door to eventually becoming "how about now?" and I don't need that.
Other than that, it's still so freeing to be able to drive places whenever I want. Well, once my car is back from the shop at least. :P There's so many things I've been putting off that I can start doing again. I'm looking forward to being able to go shopping or to a movie with my mom one of these weekends without having to plan everything around drinking. And even though I've managed to gain weight so far (boo!) I'm glad to know I'm not dumping poison and calories in my body - once it settles out, I know it'll get healthier, too. I can really tell in my eyes and my complexion that I'm healthier now than a couple weeks ago!
Thanks again for everyone here; you've all been so supportive and I can't say enough what a difference that makes!
My appetite is starting to normalize, which is good, and I'm starting to have a bit more energy instead of feeling like death all the time. It's hard to balance being gentle with myself with other obligations I have, sometimes. I know if I try to do too much I'll get overwhelmed which will make it harder to stick to my quit...but the longer I'm sober, the more the things I've put off so long bother me. For now, I'm going with something I was trying before it occurred to me that sober would help - pick 3 things a day that I've been putting off and I want to get done. Nothing HUGE, either; just three reasonably sized things. If I feel ok after that, then I can pick something else. It sounds silly...but it's a good place to start instead of just feeling overwhelmed or trying to do everything at once.
My sleep is still somewhat off, but it's really amazing how much better I can function in the morning even if I'm out of it or didn't get enough sleep. And there has NEVER been a morning where I thought "Gee, really wish I'd had a drink last night!"
I'm also still kind of juggling how much I can be there for other people. I had a casual friend ask if he could call me today because he wanted relationship advice and I had to tell him that I'm kinda juggling some health issues right now and I'm not in a good place to do that. "No," is a really hard thing for me to say and I'm really having to work on some of my people-pleasing tendencies. I can't be everything for everyone, though; and I keep trying to remember that while I work on my quit it's ok if I only have the brains/energy for close friends and family. I expect that the longer I'm sober, the more willing I'll be to let go of friendships that probably aren't so great for me which would also not be a bad thing. I can think of a few folks that I'm literally just friends with them because it feels like it would be mean not to be.
Having to watch my smoking now since I decided not to quit that at the same time. I want to give myself at least a full month sober before I start really working on cutting back, but that doesn't mean I can't watch it now. I've quit smoking before so I know it's something I can do...but like drinking, it'll only work when I really commit to it.
My interactions with my one friend have gotten super noticeably better, at least on my side. It's always felt a bit like I had to try really hard not to like him as more than a friend and I was constantly trying to debate if having a really good friend was worth that or not? My emotions are evening out more now and I can better appreciate the friendship without having to try for it as hard - AND also let myself enjoy that we're not dating since that also frees me up. It was really bothering me before because I never used to have trouble being friends with guys...I'm getting to see now that a lot of my sadness and panic were coming from out of the bottle, and not just because I'm nervous after the bad relationship I had. I feel like I'm a better friend to him now AND without feeling like I'm doing something horribly unhealthy for myself so win-win.
I talked about it some in the Nest already, but my AL brain is definitely starting to get cranky with me. It's playing the "surely in a couple years you should be able to drink just a glass" game, but with encouragement from everyone here, I'm telling it no. I think it's trying to get just a foot in the door with the idea that it's "safe" to think about it "in the future," but I think that anything that makes AL sound like a good option is harmful to me sticking to my quit. "Someday" opens the door to eventually becoming "how about now?" and I don't need that.
Other than that, it's still so freeing to be able to drive places whenever I want. Well, once my car is back from the shop at least. :P There's so many things I've been putting off that I can start doing again. I'm looking forward to being able to go shopping or to a movie with my mom one of these weekends without having to plan everything around drinking. And even though I've managed to gain weight so far (boo!) I'm glad to know I'm not dumping poison and calories in my body - once it settles out, I know it'll get healthier, too. I can really tell in my eyes and my complexion that I'm healthier now than a couple weeks ago!
Thanks again for everyone here; you've all been so supportive and I can't say enough what a difference that makes!
Comment