3 year cocktail of AD's, alcohol, drugs and frustration - advise?!

[MisterSaunders]

Hi all,

I've been lurking on this site for a while searching for answers, so I decided I'd just sign up and ask a few questions. I'll provide a snapshot of the last three years - hopefully someone will impart some wisdom!

22 years old now. Rewind 3-4 years and you'll find me in my first year of university. Already a heavy drinker at this stage but no more than my peers - still predominantly social and without problems.

Second year of university - different story. I experimented with a plethora of narcotics in addition to the copious amounts of booze, and towards the end of 2nd year, I came down with MAJOR OCD and anxiety/depression.

I get put on various AD's, which sort of help me through to graduation, but my alcohol use changes - demonstrating signs of abuse and dependence - convinced that SSRI may have had a hand in this.

Graduated and got a decent job. Started to take Naltrexone and follow TSM. I did this for 6 months, and I saw some improvements, but noticed that my hangovers were filled with anxiety and depression.

I decided to revamp my lifestyle, and 101 days ago, I gave up drinking, smoking, anti depressants and all things fun.

Yippee. Now here is the rub. This was never going to be a life long thing - I'm 22, and many people will say that it's a wonderful time to get sober; perhaps so, but I am struggling. Since quitting all of the above, I haven't really improved. I've started to eat compulsively at the weekend, and diet in the week to compensate. I gamble more than I should, and spend money that I don't have. I have begged for cognitive behavioural therapy, and I have been put on a 12 week waiting list. (Gotta love the NHS - have as many SSRIs as you like, but actual treatment?!)

I am really intrigued by balcofen. I originally set out to do 100 sober days, which I have accomplished, and I will continue this for a while until my naltrexone comes in a few weeks.

The main reason for my posting is that in my abstinence, I have changed nothing but the vice I use. My two year SSRI treatment has changed nothing, and the underlying anxiety that drives my compulsive behaviour is still there.

Can balcofen really address this? I've read that it can, and I am willing to try.

Questions - do you have to take it for the rest of your life?

Does it exacerbate depression?

Any input would be hugely appreciated as I am fresh out of ideas. I have tried everything, but now I am fed up of this self perpetuating inescapable anxiety-compulsion whirlpool.

[j-vo]

3 year cocktail of AD's, alcohol, drugs and frustration - advise?!

Hi MisterSaunders,
You deserve to be congratulated on all of your accomplishments thus far! You have a great handle on what your challenges are and that's so impressive at a young age. Unfortunately, addiction is a disease, and how we each treat ourselves is tailored to our needs. Giving up one drug for another is tricky business. I was on baclofen three or more years back and unfortunately didn't have any luck with it. What I do have luck with is a recovery that knows and accepts that my life is a thousand times better without alcohol or drugs in it. Yes, I've fallen over this last year, slips, whatever we call it, but being without, my life is worth living and loving.

If you're interested in baclofen, there is a meds section where a lot of people may be able to help you.
CBT is a great tool and definitely something I would look into. I bought a program that practiced the techniques and it's really worth it.

I hope you stay on MWO and use this tool in your recovery. Good luck to you.

[Leighann111]

3 year cocktail of AD's, alcohol, drugs and frustration - advise?!

Mrsaunders....
For almost 2 years I suffered crippling anxiety n panic attacks. When I left the house I couldn't go out alone it was awful. After giving up the drink for 30 odd days I travelled on PUBLIC TRANSPORT for 180 miles alone!!!!! I know everybody is different but I'm just saying it can be done :-)

[Turnagain]

3 year cocktail of AD's, alcohol, drugs and frustration - advise?!

Hi MrSaunders...

You've sure been through a lot and it's easy to see why you feel so frustrated and perhaps, even a little helpless about what you're going through right now. And here you are, after eliminating booze, other drugs and smoking, still feeling miserable with new 'addictive' problems on top of that!

It's a great thing that you've reached out for some ideas and guidance. That's actually a very positive move that is going to start you on the path to permanent healing. In the past few years, brain research has revealed quite a bit of game-changing information about the nature of addiction. While all the questions haven't been answered yet about the mechanisms of addiction, there is still a much clearer picture of what goes on between our ears when we get waylaid by addictive substances and behaviors.

Here's an interesting article that was published a few years back that was helpful to me in understanding the physiological basis of addiction.

http://malibubeachrecoverycenter.com...o_Dopamine.pdf

The take away here is that...addiction is addiction is addiction is addiction and without addressing the core cause of addiction (the waylaid dopamine receptors) people just replace one addiction with another. The good news is that it's possible to get over all addiction and find real happiness and contentment. A lot of us around here are proof of that.

I went for the holistic route for healing - using exercise, meditation, and some self-applied cognitive behavioral therapy. I top that with a daily practice of gratitude. Research shows all these actions have direct and proven effectiveness in changing the wiring and the chemistry of our brain. You don't need an RX for any of this. These are all things you can start doing - this very moment - to augment the incredible work you are already doing of keeping bad substances out of your body.

Healing is a process. It doesn't happen overnight. You need to allow yourself some patience and confidence that you will get better everyday by exercising, meditating and practicing gratitude. You will also find that eating a whole food diet - nothing processed and no sugar - will help you wrangle the overeating back to healthy levels.

It sounds like you would also benefit from some supplementation for a while - do some research on using L-glutamine (an amino acid that helps with cravings for sugar and alcohol) Another supplement that was VERY helpful for me was a good vitamin B complex that includes B-12 which is essential for good mental health. If you can hook up with a doc to get the shots, go for it. Otherwise, a high-quality liquid B complex taken sublingually will work. We drinkers mess us the part of our bowels that absorb these essential nutrients and as a result of the internal chaos, we end up peeing out what we should've been absorbing.

You've already done the tough work of detoxing. 101 days and counting is something to be proud of! You also have a clear idea of what's still causing you problems. Now, it's just a matter of building on this great foundation to get you out of that self-perpetuating whirlpool. You can escape it. You have what it takes to leave all this behind you....

Keep posting and asking and trying....

[Turnagain]

3 year cocktail of AD's, alcohol, drugs and frustration - advise?!

Hi MrSaunders...

You've sure been through a lot and it's easy to see why you feel so frustrated and perhaps, even a little helpless about what you're going through right now. And here you are, after eliminating booze, other drugs and smoking, still feeling miserable with new 'addictive' problems on top of that!

It's a great thing that you've reached out for some ideas and guidance. That's actually a very positive move that is going to start you on the path to permanent healing. In the past few years, brain research has revealed quite a bit of game-changing information about the nature of addiction. While all the questions haven't been answered yet about the mechanisms of addiction, there is still a much clearer picture of what goes on between our ears when we get waylaid by addictive substances and behaviors.

Here's an interesting article that was published a few years back that was helpful to me in understanding the physiological basis of addiction.

http://malibubeachrecoverycenter.com...o_Dopamine.pdf

The take away here is that...addiction is addiction is addiction is addiction and without addressing the core cause of addiction (the waylaid dopamine receptors) one addiction often 'replaces' another. The good news is that it's possible to get over all addiction and find real happiness and contentment. A lot of us around here are proof of that.

I went for the holistic healing route using exercise, meditation, and some self-applied cognitive behavioral therapy. I top that with a daily practice of gratitude. Research shows all these actions have direct and proven effectiveness in changing the wiring and the chemistry of our brains. You don't need an RX for any of this. These are all things you can start doing - immediately - to augment the incredible work you are already doing of keeping bad substances out of your body.

Healing is a process. It doesn't happen overnight. You need to allow yourself some patience and confidence that you will get better everyday by exercising, meditating and practicing gratitude. You will also find that eating a whole food diet - nothing processed and no sugar - will help you wrangle your eating back to healthy levels.

It sounds like you would also benefit from some supplementation for a while - do some research on using L-glutamine (an amino acid that helps with cravings for sugar and alcohol) Another supplement that was VERY helpful for me was a good vitamin B complex that includes B-12 which is essential for good mental health. If you can find/afford a doc to get the B shots, go for it. Otherwise, a high-quality liquid B complex taken sublingually will work. Years of drinking and stress mess up the part of our bowels that absorb these essential nutrients and, as a result of the internal chaos, we end up peeing out what we should've been absorbing.

You've already done the tough work of detoxing. 101 days plus and counting is something to be proud of! You also have a clear idea of what's still causing you problems. Now, it's just a matter of building on this great foundation to get you out of that self-perpetuating whirlpool. You can escape it. You have what it takes to leave all this behind you....

Keep posting and asking and trying....