30 Day June Club,goal, Drink Less/Drunk less be

[jane rees]

30 Day June Club,goal, Drink Less/Drunk less be

Hi everyone
I have been away a few days, but back on line now. I am now 32 days AF and all the cravings are just about gone. Sometimes i worry that i am becoming complacent about it and start to think that I could just have one, little, teeny weeny drop... BUT, i won't , because to steal a fab quote from somebody on this forum
" I'm learning to live life on the outside of a bottle" ! isn't that the best quote ever for us lot?
I want to share something with you all...I have applied for a big job and the interview is looming. I am so excited and even if it doesn't work out for me I have finally found the courage to move away from my present employer of 20 years. And i am convinced this new found courage and confidence comes from being sober for 32 days!!
I hardly feel nervous or anxious at all and that is unusual for me. I feel confident and " switched on". It's just the most fabulous feeling, so much so, that I've started experimenting with telling people that don't know me well that I am a tee-totaller and I tell myself daily that I am a ' non-drinker". I thought folk would look at me like I had 2 heads if I mentioned that I didn't drink...but do you know, they don't! for years I presumed everybody drank as much as I did!!
I must say , Garden Girl, I am so impressed with your perserverance.Keep going, and do it for you as well as your girls.
Sorry, if I sound like I'm bragging. I just can't believe the dramatic turn around in my life in the month since i got rid of the wine!
love Jane

[louise]

30 Day June Club,goal, Drink Less/Drunk less be

Way to go Jane!

:goodjob: Hey Jane, I wondered where you went when you weren't here for your 30 day! It is just great to hear your news. It sounds like your headaches are better too. Gardengirl, thanks. No, I did not waste time beating myself up as it wasn't really too bad and it is good to see you so up as well. Hi to all and have a good day. Have to go get ready for remodel estimator.

[garden girl]

30 Day June Club,goal, Drink Less/Drunk less be

well done Jane you deserve to brag 32 days af. My perseverance as you call it feels really low this evening, I dont want a drink, Im not craving a drink I just feel so low tonight despite doing a 2hour garden job and going for a bike ride, im sure its just part of withdrawel symptoms, except this week im not giving in to them. Glad you are ok louise, I dont know if its me but the boards seem kind of 'not buzzing' at the moment, sometimes they do sometimes they dont. This weather in uk is so grey and wet theres no wonder us brits feel so low I need the sun! Just doing a quick count and half way through June and including a bit of May I am 12 out of 17 days AF. Just need 7 in a row now.

Have a good evening/day:baaah:

[roxane]

30 Day June Club,goal, Drink Less/Drunk less be

brag away jane, you give me hope!

started af again monday and got to day 3 1/2. i say that because my trigger time is 3ish to 7ish. past that and the urge to drink goes, but not the wierd feeling that something is missing. well, i have a drink with me now, 8.30.

tuesday af and we went to bed, ade slowly went up the stairs and ran out of breath (has cancer and on last chance chemo), 1/2 hour of laying there couldnt catch his breath and got scared. long and short of it ended up in hospital at midnight and kept in overnight.

i am so pleased that i was af. i drove him there.

i got back at 2.30am and couldnt sleep (read some posts on here lol)and finally went to sleep at the sound of dawn chorus 3.45am. alarm went off at 7.15!!! forgot to turn it off groan. spent weds. running round like headless chicken bringing him all he needed, trying to time everything for me to be ready if Ade was coming home etc (he did).
went to bed at 10pm with Ade listening to every breath he made until he went to sleep with the aid of diazepam (him not me i wish)

it caught up with me today and felt overwhelmed with stress, believing this is the beginning of the end for him. nearly got through the evening but not to be and i dont care that i didnt.

what i need more than anything is a kick up the arse from you lot, not sympathy. im the typical stiff lip and it would make me cry. i dont want to, i cant afford to fall apart at the moment

roxane

[louise]

30 Day June Club,goal, Drink Less/Drunk less be

Roxane,

Sorry, I cannot possibly give you a kick. I watched my mother and stepdaughter go through this and you need and deserve a good cry. However, since you have asked for no sympathy I will not pour it on. Can you ask your dr. for some diazapam or similar? I forgot to post where you can use the huggy symbols but send some and a prayer for you both.

[roxane]

30 Day June Club,goal, Drink Less/Drunk less be

louise, you've lost me. why would i need diazepam? btw, Ade brought some home with him and also has temazepam.

just re-read my post and see where you are coming from.
can i change the word stress to erm, upset. thats a small word for a big feeling.

we have been going through this for 18 months and didnt expect that we would be. chemo and operation within 6 months and be better. so you cope with each step as it comes along . you get used to a weight and another is added, you bear it (mixed metaphor but who cares)

i am dealing with it because i have to, sympathy can crumble that. i will cry when its over, rivers.

i was in two minds as to posting as i dont know what i wanted from everyone, but i realise now that i wanted to vent! and it helps.
not sure this post makes sense, sorry.

[roxane]

30 Day June Club,goal, Drink Less/Drunk less be

addition to post

prayers and thoughts are very much welcomed, thank you.

[louise]

30 Day June Club,goal, Drink Less/Drunk less be

It sounded like you wanted something to help you sleep. You are doing great.:l :angel:

[roxane]

30 Day June Club,goal, Drink Less/Drunk less be

hey you found your smilies :happy:

:baaah: dont know what a skipping sheep is supposed to mean but there you go

[garden girl]

30 Day June Club,goal, Drink Less/Drunk less be

Roxanne you are doing great, we will go with you, if you want to vent then vent away, if you want sympathy then we have it here in abundance, I too went through this with my Dad. Sometimes you may need to let go a little, you will not fall apart because you have let go for a moment, it will just be a form of release and then you will just carry on being as strong as you have been because for now, thats what you have to do. Keep strong my thoughts are with you but for now here are some smilies I love them.:huggy :groupluv:

[roxane]

30 Day June Club,goal, Drink Less/Drunk less be

garden girl, i had to work today, came home saw Ade then went out again to do my pony. on that drive it hit me what happened and wanted to cry, couldnt. thought that the first person that i saw at the yard i would get them to tell me something funny. no-one there!

its not that i dont want to let go and cry a little, i cant.

when Ade got the call that the cancer had spread i burst into tears and he asked me not to(was afraid of breaking down himself i guess). since then i have not been able to cry, even on my own.

i cried buckets for months when my dog died, had to pull over when driving sometimes and embarressed a waitress on my birthday at a restaurant crying into my plate.

i know its not doing me any good but theres nothing i can do about it. ive told my self its ok to cry but it doesnt work.

so, give me some good news about you lot, hows the af/mods going?

roxane

[louise]

30 Day June Club,goal, Drink Less/Drunk less be

Roxane,

Please feel free to post or pm any time you want about this. If not, I understand. Im finishing day 2 AF and have lost track of where I am on the other counting system without going to drinktracker. Not quite as good as I hoped but better than a month ago for sure! Just discovered the automatic sprinkler system has broken down as we are getting ready to leave town for 8 days. Doubt I can get anyone here on short notice tomorrow to fix so either I find someone fast to come water or things will be pretty dead when we get back. Oh well, I was managing to kill most things slowly anyway. I am not a gardner,alas. My husband is leaving town for the weekend so that may be a bit of a challenge to stay Af. When he gets back we take off for our trip for his son's high school graduation and to see friends. I'm looking forward to it a lot. I've given up on losing any weight and decided to buy new clothes as often I then manage to lose. Very perverse. Ok, I've rambled enough - you take care . Hugs. (forgot and did quick reply again)

[garden girl]

30 Day June Club,goal, Drink Less/Drunk less be

hi everyone, roxanne hope you are doing ok, I feel very anxious/stressed today, stillaf and know I will not drink tonight, I'm desperate to get 7 days af in in a row. I just feel so horrible though, dizzy and stressed out presume its to do with not drinking, still not been able to get to town to get supps and weather is so awful I cant get out on my bike, I think I will go out rain or not, speak later.

[karbihere]

30 Day June Club,goal, Drink Less/Drunk less be

hi all wish i could drink less although i really dont know the meaning im more of a all of nothing person 1 is way to many and 10.000 just is not enough for me i have to go complete abstience

[karbihere]

30 Day June Club,goal, Drink Less/Drunk less be

hi all wish i could drink less although i really dont know the meaning im more of a all of nothing person 1 is way to many and 10.000 just is not enough for me i have to go complete abstience