30 Day June Club,goal, Drink Less/Drunk less be

[rustop61]

30 Day June Club,goal, Drink Less/Drunk less be

Hi everyone

Think this thread is a great idea. Have been coming to the boards for the past year with some success. The fact that I have not succeeded 100% is my own fault. Not crazy about taking topa or any other kind of drugs which is crazy when you think what a bottle plus of wine a day is doing to me!! I joined the monthly abs at various stages but then when I dont succeed I stop. Today is Day2 for me and I just happened to log in today for the first time in weeks and this thread really appealed to me. Looking forward to joining you guys in the month ahead.


Rustop

[evergreen]

30 Day June Club,goal, Drink Less/Drunk less be

Hi all,
Missed a day as it is crazy week. Have enjoyed catching up with everyone. Reteacher hope you have a good holiday with your parents. Welcome to all the new joiners. It does help to know someone(s) are just like us. Roxanne, I too slipped. I had 3 days AF and Sunday found myself bringing home a bottle of wine from the grocery store. I did my usual pour the last of it out so I can say I did not drink the whole bottle but pretty darn close. I did not hide it though so that was one of my goals. I woke up at 130 am and could not go back to sleep. I am keeping that forefront in my mind if I am tempted to slip again. Lots of parties coming up this week but lots of other activities and events that I want to be clear and rested for!!! Was AF yesterday. Obviously 30 days is not going to happen (once again) in June. My goal is more AF days. Did about 50% in May. Shooting for 20/30 in June, at least! Best to all!!!

[garden girl]

30 Day June Club,goal, Drink Less/Drunk less be

Hi everyone, the only thing I feel good about today is the fact that people seem to like this thread I started. I drank last night and got drunk and I hate myself for it. I feel so guilty because I upset both my daughters especially the 13 year old by getting drunk. They have had to put up with their mum being drunk 1 2 or 3 times a week now for 5 years. I am sooooo mad with myself for giving in yesterday, why is it that all the reasons for not having a drink seem to go out of my mind. I dont actually do or say anything to upset them its just that the mum that they love dissapears for a couple of hours as the wine takes over,I have said sorry to them this morning as I always do but that is not enough. Thay need me to get control of this and as I am stronger now than Ive been over the last 5 years then now is the time to do it and I WILL succeed I am so determined . So I am going to ignore all this guilt and focus on trying to get a full week of afs in, the guilt holds me back so I need to totally focus on positive stuff like going for my 7 mile bike ride, getting the housework done and lots of positive thinking. I wasnt going to post on here today because I was so mad with myself but I decided it would be better to get it off my chest so to speak. The crazy thing is that the rest of the time i am a really good mum and totally dedicated I just have this one weakness but I will prove myself stronger than the drink. So onwards and upwards hope everyone else is ok.:upset:

[louise]

30 Day June Club,goal, Drink Less/Drunk less be

I will post more later - have to go to breakfast, but GG, if you have time, go to long time abstainers thread and read Voddy - read the whole thing so you see the posts from Ellie. It will be ok. Hugs.

[rustop61]

30 Day June Club,goal, Drink Less/Drunk less be

Garden Girl

I can so identify with everything you said in your last post. I too have a 13 and a 14 year old. 99% of the time I am a great Mom just not when the wine takes over. I feel so so guilty and hate being such a bad example to them. I tried AA once or twice but it just wasnt for me. Maybe it was th e meetings I attended but I could not identify with any of the people there. Most of them had hit rock bottom while I, well at the moment anyway, am a functioning alcoholic. The great thing about MWO is that when you read the posts you can identify and it gives you a sence of hope that you are not alone and others are struggling the same as you.

[imatree]

30 Day June Club,goal, Drink Less/Drunk less be

Good morning.
Garden girl - I'm impressed that your thread started out with negativity and guilt and you talked yourself right into forging ahead. Bravo!

[adaptable]

30 Day June Club,goal, Drink Less/Drunk less be

Jane rees, good luck at the doctors. I sure hope you find the solution to your headaches. My doctor confirmed the allergies, I have major inflammation in my sinuses. It’s curable and I’m doing much better.

Louise, I want to come to dinner at your place, you’re cooking all my favorite foods! I love lamb and salmon and my mouth waters every time I read your posts!

I drank again last night and worked in my barn until 4 AM. Back to my old habit again and enjoyed every minute of it. I guess I’m just not ready to be AF for now.

[louise]

30 Day June Club,goal, Drink Less/Drunk less be

Welcome Rust. Good job not hiding EG and getting back on track. Ima, I'm so sorry you are having relationship troubles. I'm finding being more sober does let you see the problems more clearly. Guess what? I'm finding they aren't all my fault like I always thought! So actually things are improving. What happened to that Greenlake walk? Would seeing some people help? Hang in there. Go Garden girl - getting right back up! Adaptable you just sound like a bundle of energy. I'm so glad a solution for the headaches is in sight. I did really well the last 2 nights, 1 to 1 1/2 glasses of wine, no craving, no sneaking off to finish the bottle after everyone went to bed. But I'm relieved to be on our own for dinner tonight and am going to ask to go out somewhere that does not serve alcohol. Even though I did well and it was easy I am feeling very nervous about getting too cocky. So I want to try to add a rule for me of no more than 2 days of drinking in a row. I'm on day 6 of topa, doing cds regularly, and the gg counting system since I got serious on 5/19 is 13 AF, 4 mod. Need to put the exercise piece in place, weight has not budged.

[julie001]

30 Day June Club,goal, Drink Less/Drunk less be

Hi everyone,

Garden Girl, have you set any small goals for yourself in regards to drinking? I find that it has helped me a lot to set reachable goals. That's one of the reasons that I like this thread so much. I don't have to add more failures to my conscience if I can't strings days and days of AF days together. And I can talk freely about it here. With the moderation aspect of this program, I can drink less this week than I did last. I can try not to drink alone (I've only drank alone two times in the past three weeks/compared to 5+ nights of drinking alone each week). Just a thought. I also know that my kids did not deserve to have an absent mom. Even though I was home, when I was drinking, I wasn't really there. Life isn't suddenly great, but the anxiety and guilt that I always felt are gradually being replaced with more positive thoughts as time passes. Keep trying.

No plans to drink tonight. I'm liking the fact that when I decide that I am not going to drink for the evening, I am no longer edgy and crabby. In the past, that edgy, crabby feeling was always there unitl I finished my first glass of wine. Good luck on a successful week of moderation everyone. We can do this!

Julie

[ame]

30 Day June Club,goal, Drink Less/Drunk less be

I have to believe this thread was started for me. I was doing great until a wedding today! I went off the deep end that made me question my ability to moderate. So for now I'm doing the best I can.

[lucky 2.0]

30 Day June Club,goal, Drink Less/Drunk less be

ame-

i love your doggy! i hope you make good choices because doggy needs you. it is all about the doggy!

[jane rees]

30 Day June Club,goal, Drink Less/Drunk less be

Hi
Garden girl,are you doing Topamax?? maybe it's what you need?
I so admire your ability to pick yourself up and brush yourself off...you are so wonderfully tenacious. You are definitley gonna win this battle!
Adaptable...you DO sound so full of energy. I'm so glad the headaches are improving for you. Mine are improving slightly. Maybe it's because Im into about week 3 Af now...?
I have just ordered a couple of motivational books off Amazon
Turnabout and Goodbye Hangovers by Jean kirkpatrick ( perhaps she's the opposition to Roberta Jewell , Ha! ).
Don't you just love Amazon... I spend a fortune on it!!!
Jane :H

[garden girl]

30 Day June Club,goal, Drink Less/Drunk less be

morning everyone, no Jane not doing anything, I am going to download the book, but unfortunately I am very hyper-sensitive to medications and have also had some bad reactions to some vitamins so I prefer to only take what I absolutely know I will not have a reaction to. But I have had some very good counselling for a year and some cbt sessions, I also meditate twice daily, which helps with the anxiety and I now exercise everyday. I am coming out of this terrible void I have been in for 5 years and the last thing I have to to conquer is not using drink as a coping mechanism. I dont drink everyday but when I do, I tend to drink the bottle very quickly on an empty stomach so end up drunk. I believe this is a habit that can be kicked, its all about dealing with any problems I may have in life without a drink. I know that I have been abusing alcohol to hide from feelings and life, so now I try and focus on facing up to the fact that any problems that occur in my life have to be faced without the bottle.I need to able to feel the worry, pain, stress whatever life brings in day to day living and not keep wanting to numb that feeling. I think that most of us on here can relate to that. When you drink you dont have to feel, because we become numb and as we drink more we lose the ability to deal with situations without a drink. I want to be able to deal with whatever life throws at me the small things and the big things without needing a glass of wine, only when I can do this will I stop needing my 'crutch' then I hope I will be able to enjoy having a drink and not need to drink more but that is for the future. For now I want to be proud of myself and drink less and be drunk less .

so at the moment I am 7 out of 9 days af and going strong
:thanks: everyone and keep it up.:h

[kali]

30 Day June Club,goal, Drink Less/Drunk less be

Hi all,
Well, I have to admit I'm on that slippery slope down once again, so don't beat yourself up GG... I was AF for 3 days, the right back up to drinking everynight... So here I am again this Wednesday, and will try for one AF day today.

Thanks for this thread and to all of you.

Kali

[louise]

30 Day June Club,goal, Drink Less/Drunk less be

Good going Garden Girl for 7/9. Hey, what if we all try to do this wed 6/6 AF together? Just for 1 day? Drinktracker here we come. Glad you joined us here ame - doggies do so love long walks, which are hard to do with a glass in hand. If I were not such a techno klutz I would post a picture of mine. Lets see, I'm 3af, 2mod for June, back on an af streak I hope and 14/4 since I started. Hope everyone who has not checked in yet is doing well!