Tired of Hating Myself

[NewStartNow]

Time for a new start. I do good for a few days, then boom. Right back into my vicious circle. I am tired of getting plastered then binge eating. My binges have been getting worse. I am amazed by how much alcohol I can consume right now. It is downright scary. This is day 2 with no booze. My problem is I want results right now. I give up before I can see any changes. And sometimes really, I just stop caring. I would rather be drunk then face myself. One day at a time for now...

[Sharky]

Tired of Hating Myself

Welcome New Start. I am very similar to you and looking to Start Over as well. As a long time MWO member (mainly lurker) I find a ton of great info, advice and support by MWO members. Don't hesitate to post often. Great folks - all trying to do the right thing. We are all in this together!

[Matt M.]

Tired of Hating Myself

Tired~ me too! Most all of us here have lived this misery. A suggestion that has helped me this last month
If your not using some type of support group and even if you are for that matter, get on this site and read, read and read. Also continue this thread and post often with your feelings botj good and bad. Go back and read your blog as you go. If you have what I have that viscous cycle will continue and worsen as long as we continue to feed the vampire with blood. I am choosing to stop the cycle by not drinking NO MATTER WHAT. Easy? No, but it is GD sure easier than misery of guilt, shame, and failure. You can do this and there are so many on MWO that will offer help and suggestions, to help you get through, we must help others to help ourselves, this is the non~viscous cycle I want to be in!
Take care and I wish you well

[NoSugar]

Tired of Hating Myself

Hi, New Start :welcome:

A great place to hang out at the beginning is the Newbies Nest and there are a lot of ideas for you to consider in the Toolbox. Both links are given below.

Take care of yourself, NS

[Pie]

Tired of Hating Myself

Hello, NewStart! Hope you'll join us in the Newbies Nest.

Pie

[LavenderBlue]

Tired of Hating Myself

Hello NewStart and nice to meet you!

I'll second the offer to come hang out in the Nest; it's been a great resource and support for me and so many others.

I also know what you mean about wanting results NOW. I'm not as far along as many folks here, but I can tell you it does keep getting better - and of course, if you drink it'll only keep getting worse instead. It's what I remind myself when I feel frustrated, at least.

[Sunnygirl]

Tired of Hating Myself

Hi New Start. I am in early sobriety too after many times of trying to get it right. It does take lots of patience of which I am learning the hard way. Try to go easy on yourself. We didn't get this way overnight, so it will take us some time to get out and start feeling better about everything. Just today as my mind has been clearing up I remembered some things from my past and thought, how terrible! Almost every memory I have of my adult life has been booze-filled. I don't want that anymore, do you? The only way to change that is to start today, little by little, one foot in front of the other. Stay awhile and don't give up trying. Best of luck to you.

[lizker]

Tired of Hating Myself

Welcome to mwo. I second pretty much what every one said. This disease is progressive. It only gets worse in ways you'll never imagine. I learnt the hard way. Iam starting week 4 today after a brief relapse and sobriety is 100 Times better. Plan out an exercise program, a nutritious diet of lean protein, plenty of fruits and veggies. The days will easily start to stack up after u detox.

[Pavati]

Tired of Hating Myself

Hi,

It definitely takes time and commitment, but it is SO worth it! If you read around here you will find a lot of testimony to that fact.

Don't hate yourself - hate alcohol. Treat yourself as you would a friend or family member - you need love and understanding. You are not the problem, the addictive nature of alcohol is the problem. The fix is simple but not easy.

Don't drink, no matter what, and use us for support. You've come to a wonderful place to get and stay sober.

Pav

[treetops]

Tired of Hating Myself

Welcome. You have come to a great support group
Can you tell us some more about what you mean by saying that you want results right now? If you mean to quit AL then you already have results.
If you mean that you want to feel better physically and mentally - then this will take time? Think of what results you want - both the big ones - and the smaller ones. Often if you get some small results it helps to build up a sense of accomplishment and belief in yourself.

[abcowboy]

Tired of Hating Myself

Welcome newstart! A great place to start your journey, but you have to ask yourself, do you want to be sober more than you want to drink? Only you can answer that question, not your loved ones, not your friends, not even us.....only you.....you can't do it for them, or even me, you have to be selfish and do it for yourself! So ask yourself, who do you want to be in the morning? Who do you want looking back at you in the mirror tomorrow morning? You can do it just as well as the others who have done it before us..... One day at a time is how.....

[NewStartNow]

Tired of Hating Myself

Don't hate yourself - hate alcohol. I like that. Today is day 4. Feeling OK. Trying to come up with a game plan for the weekend. I know temptation will be calling my name. Weekdays are so much easier for me. Weekends are my achilles heel. Right now, I wish I could just skip over it. But alas, that won't happen so I must deal. Thanks for all of your supportive messages.

[See the Light]

Tired of Hating Myself

Newstart- yes, AL is the problem...you need to be the solution. I was on the same sort of cycle…just about 3.5 days on average after I would quit I would fail again..you could set your clock to it. Except I didn’t binge eat..I started replacing my meals with liquor…breakfast, lunch and dinner. The point is the same though...your new start really begins with you believing in yourself and how you can live a great life without AL. You can do it. Best wishes and stick with us.

[Rahulthesweet]

Tired of Hating Myself

Welcome, I was exactly in that similar state about 6 months back. You are at the right place checkout new bies nest.

[NewStartNow]

Tired of Hating Myself

This is the first weekend in a long time that I have not had any alcohol. I am now on day 7 and feeling good. This week will be easy for me - next weekend will again test me but I intend to get through it. I was cranky and irritable all weekend, but I just let myself be that way. I need to allow myself to feel my feelings instead of trying to change them, numb them or stuff them down. That is the source of my binging. I will keep you posted but so far, so good.