Can't believe it!!!

[paraniod]

My husband is on the phone with a friend of his talking about this past weekend where I completely blacked out and don't remember a thing. It is to the point that I don't know where or who I was with. They are saying the I am nicer and happier than ever when I am drunk. They are thinking that I was so much fun to be around, and the only problem is that I create these awful scenarios in my head when I wake up. Is this possible? I don't know if I can stay with my husband.

[goingsobermum]

Can't believe it!!!

At least by listening you could find out some of the things you did, LOL.
Seriously you need to find ways of relaxing and letting go without the drink, have you tried dancing, singing and being generally childlike sober. It feels really odd, its hard and you end up feeling stupid, but at the end of the day should make you feel good. We should be able to have fun without a drink and not feel silly doing so, after all we are quite happy to be total plonkers at times when drunk so why not try sober.

[louise]

Can't believe it!!!

I am so sorry! Wow! Since alcohol reduces inhibitions, and it sounds like you are normally a bit of an introvert, you may be the life of the party. However, you are absolutely right that you may have to leave if he can not appreciate you when you are sober. He clearly does not understand how serious blacking out is to your health or the downward spiral it can lead to. In my opinion, he needs a good smack on the side of the head with a book about alcoholism. We introverts are just fine the way we are. If we want to learn through counseling to be a little less inhibited, great, but we are not bothering anybody just the way we are. Hang in there!

[paraniod]

Can't believe it!!!

Going: you are right it helps me to know that noone else is dwelling on me being so out of it. But I will really have to try hard to let go without drink. I had just the other day picked up a schedule on belly dancing. I used to dance all of the time and now I can't do so with being drunk.
Louise: I am an introvert and you are right by saying I am the life of the party when drinking. Ihave been told that many times. Sober I don't like attention. Drunk, I want to be the only attention. Once sober again I am ashamed of being so loud and needy.

My husband and I have been struggling for a very long time. Because of the harm it could do to the kids I have stayed. I am scared but maybe it's time to move on.
I feel so sick.

[louise]

Can't believe it!!!

:l My heart goes out to you hon. But I just read your location and I don't think you are in quite as bad shape as you think you are because you still have a shred of humor. I have absolutely no recollection of this - but apparently I once danced on a table in a restaurant/bar. Mostly I have not wanted to know what I've done. Once, in a game where we were supposed to be compared to an object and others were to guess who we were, when someone suggested light, the person who had me in mind said "a light behind a screen"; for flower, they said "bird of paradise" - short but extremely flambouant bloom, pretty boring plant the rest of the time. There is one advantage to getting older and that is becoming more accepting of who we are. You will be able to let out he playful you more without drink, maybe not to be the life of the party but for YOU to have fun (who cares if you entertain others). I am sure you have so much to offer even when not being the life of the party. Even a light behind a screen gives light, and if you have a headache is soothing. The bird of paradise is a nice green and I'm sure is good for soil erosion.

[paraniod]

Can't believe it!!!

Thank you

:l