should we preach to other friends ?

[Rahulthesweet]

Yesterday I went out with an old friend and past time drinking buddy. Both of us married and and not much in common except the past we had and glory days of drinking together. I remember I used to drink with him every day for about 3 years about 9 years ago it so. We kinda lost touch due to work, kids my travel etc.

From my prospective he went on becoming a moderate drinker but booze is still important to him in many ways. Ove dinner I didn't drink and so he didn't and usual debate about y I am not drinking. It then occurred to me should we go out and preach to others benefits of being AF free ?

I remember Allan Carrs book where he points on then end never to preach to others. But just winding what your experiences have been in this regard ?

[Daisy38]

should we preach to other friends ?

I would never preach to any one else I think it's a sure fire way to isolate your self. I respect the fact that my friends enjoy an al drink. I would be more than happy to help some one if they approached me for tools for being al free though.

However if a friend or family member was displaying signs of alcoholism I would ask them to consider the amount they are drinking especially if they are a risk to themselves or others

[Rahulthesweet]

should we preach to other friends ?

Well I have formed a thinking that the reason for me being an alcoholic is not because I have some gene which makes me so but because AL itself is bad, addictive etc. A powerful drug which like smoking does harm. Society does not feel that ways because of various reasons they are blinded due to media, glamour associated with it even religion which has mention of it.

So telling myself its normal for ANYONE to drink is against what I believe now. Kinda of I see someone coming put of a long flight and rushing to a smokers cabin for a puff, that's not considered normal by me. It also not something now society see in postive way.

But yes you are right it may not be wise to talk to anyone in such a way. I remember how many people told me hey you should not drink that much including my wife and I remember what used to be my reaction.

But has it happened to anyone here where someone genuinely asked for help (person you know well) what kind of advice would one should give. I wonder !

[NoSugar]

should we preach to other friends ?

Hi, Rahul

On its face, it does seem crazy for anyone to drink a poison. However, some people truly can drink at such low doses that it doesn't hurt them and even might be beneficial in some ways. Same thing with sugar - I really have to avoid it or I'm diabetic. At high doses, it probably isn't great for most people but for those who can consume it in small doses and don't have an underlying metabolic problem, it can be an enjoyable treat.

The thing is, we're all so different, we each need to find out what works for us. That is one of the big problems with global recommendations - they really are right for only a proportion of the population and might be actually bad for some of the others.

People who can't easily control their sugar, or alcohol, or whatever intake and have problems caused by them, likely would be better off without them. If they ask for your help, just share your poetry and they'll see how much better life can be!


Take care, NS

[okoren1]

should we preach to other friends ?

Rahul,

You raise a good point.

From my perspective, non-drinkers like us will tend to "stand out" among a group of drinkers. For those who drink lightly and socially, I don't think we will appear as odd. For heavier drinkers, our abstinence will probably be more obvious. However, this could be a good thing. I remember when I was heavily into AL, when I was around someone who simply didn't drink, I was somehow drawn to them; thinking how could I become like him or her? They seem to be enjoying themselves at the party (or dinner, or whatever function) and they were not drinking... could I do that?

I will simply wait for someone, who is drinking,maybe too much, to approach me and ask "why I am not"? Chances are that person could be seeking answers; particularly if they felt they drank too much and had considered quitting. This would especially apply if I was with people who knew I previously drank AL. A couple of nights ago, I returned from a 10 day cycling trip in the Swiss Alps with 5 other guys; good friends. I was the only non-drinker, and nobody said anything about my abstinence. In the evenings, these guys were powering down some serious alcohol, but my guess is none felt it was a problem for them. I prefer to be a silent witness- available for help if asked. I agree with Daisy, I would never comment on anyone else's drinking habits. Sure-fire way to turn them off.