GWAWK !! oh and that MAE thing too ..
First off I would like to offer my sincere apologies for basically dropping out of the MWO radar. Last time I logged in was on Christmas day..and honestly I feel bad about that.
Good news is that its now been one full rotation of the earth around the sun since I have had a drink. Not unlike Softies post on 52 weeks I am not seeking praise or Large Ladies Panties ( Although I could probably use a cowboy hat
)
So here's the skinny on whats happened work wise. My boss stopped paying me due to not having any money back during the Holidays. I never got a check for christmas ( my regular check..not talking bonus ). This went on for a few weeks so I ended up leaving and getting another job. My newer job was going good until I concluded that I could not afford my monthly bills. After speaking with the jackass owner about my monitary shortfalls to no avail I then decided to start up my own biz. Needless to say being Sober for some time had me sharp as a tack and smart as a whip ( dont ask me how smart those things are..I have no clue actually ). I did Very well for myself in such a short time. I now have the nicest newest vehicle Ive ever owned. I have more money than I have ever had. I have everything I could want/need for the first time in my adult life. Still..somehow..Its not bringing me the happiness I thought it would. Although its nice not having to worry about bills anymore.
The Divorce went final several months ago and boy howdy what a great relief that is ( my jackass lawyer is suing me for another 2 grand for some reason though lol ). The schedule for the boys, that I thought at the time would work for me, is every other weekend, every Thursday and Tuesdays following Her weekend. So on "my" week its Tues,Thurs,Fri,Sat,Sun and drop them off Monday. Well this worked out well during the summer due to the fact that I could pick them up early on my days ( seeing as Im self employed now ) .. but now that school started Im getting these bullshit excuses like "im not done grading their homework..or there not done with homework ( they are home schooled ). I mean..WTF .. She can have them take a friggin day off school to go do something else whenever she wants..but I have to wait another stupid hour and a half before I can pick them up because of some lame excuse. .. Sigh. I might have to go back to court to ask for a full week on and off.
So thats basically whats been going on "in life". Now how about me you ask ? .. .. go ahead and ask.. .. Ok Lady and NMSugar.. since you asked nicely...
Well continuing being AF is really an non-effort on my part any more. Its just Me now...part of who I am. I could try to go on and on about it..but its actually as Simple as that. I DONT DRINK.
At one point just a few months ago I felt on top of the world. I was happy..content and of course sober. However lately I have been finding myself in a cynical state of mind. I dunno..its like now im realizing that basically Everyone has a 'game' and Im not included ( unless I can somehow be taken advantage of ). Everyone from my Ex to clients. Oh yea..im not too terribly happy about the way im beginning to think about my ex and her family. Its like everyone wants to Take take take. So the world that I was so on top off is leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. Just going to have to suck it up and roll with the punches. But its nice being able to dodge them with ease instead of falling into the bottom of a bottle to not feel getting hit now
. I guess I just need to find something that brings me happiness other than my boys. I thought I would get used to the 'schedule' by now..but unfortunately not yet..
So in closing I would like to give some encouragement to those of you starting or thinking about starting the road to sobriety. Stay vigilant ! The world opens up in many different ways along the path. Sure you have some Real ( and I mean Real crappy days ) but they dont last long. Perceptions change..you see things differently..you react differently. When you persist through bad you get unimaginable rewards. Its like "Someone" is watching..and gives you a part of yourself as you go along. In bits and pieces you become more and more who you were meant to be. Do this single greatest thing you can possibly do for Yourself. Your here because the inner you yearn to be set free. Stay close to the nest and never close up. Above I described how cynical I have become of others..but not here. These are real people with real hearts of gold. I have Never found anyone like you..Thank you.
So I guess thats all I have for now. I really should fly to the Nest and dust off my favorite perch more often..a lot more often...
Peace and Love
Dave
First off I would like to offer my sincere apologies for basically dropping out of the MWO radar. Last time I logged in was on Christmas day..and honestly I feel bad about that.
Good news is that its now been one full rotation of the earth around the sun since I have had a drink. Not unlike Softies post on 52 weeks I am not seeking praise or Large Ladies Panties ( Although I could probably use a cowboy hat
)So here's the skinny on whats happened work wise. My boss stopped paying me due to not having any money back during the Holidays. I never got a check for christmas ( my regular check..not talking bonus ). This went on for a few weeks so I ended up leaving and getting another job. My newer job was going good until I concluded that I could not afford my monthly bills. After speaking with the jackass owner about my monitary shortfalls to no avail I then decided to start up my own biz. Needless to say being Sober for some time had me sharp as a tack and smart as a whip ( dont ask me how smart those things are..I have no clue actually ). I did Very well for myself in such a short time. I now have the nicest newest vehicle Ive ever owned. I have more money than I have ever had. I have everything I could want/need for the first time in my adult life. Still..somehow..Its not bringing me the happiness I thought it would. Although its nice not having to worry about bills anymore.
The Divorce went final several months ago and boy howdy what a great relief that is ( my jackass lawyer is suing me for another 2 grand for some reason though lol ). The schedule for the boys, that I thought at the time would work for me, is every other weekend, every Thursday and Tuesdays following Her weekend. So on "my" week its Tues,Thurs,Fri,Sat,Sun and drop them off Monday. Well this worked out well during the summer due to the fact that I could pick them up early on my days ( seeing as Im self employed now ) .. but now that school started Im getting these bullshit excuses like "im not done grading their homework..or there not done with homework ( they are home schooled ). I mean..WTF .. She can have them take a friggin day off school to go do something else whenever she wants..but I have to wait another stupid hour and a half before I can pick them up because of some lame excuse. .. Sigh. I might have to go back to court to ask for a full week on and off.
So thats basically whats been going on "in life". Now how about me you ask ? .. .. go ahead and ask.. .. Ok Lady and NMSugar.. since you asked nicely...
Well continuing being AF is really an non-effort on my part any more. Its just Me now...part of who I am. I could try to go on and on about it..but its actually as Simple as that. I DONT DRINK.
At one point just a few months ago I felt on top of the world. I was happy..content and of course sober. However lately I have been finding myself in a cynical state of mind. I dunno..its like now im realizing that basically Everyone has a 'game' and Im not included ( unless I can somehow be taken advantage of ). Everyone from my Ex to clients. Oh yea..im not too terribly happy about the way im beginning to think about my ex and her family. Its like everyone wants to Take take take. So the world that I was so on top off is leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. Just going to have to suck it up and roll with the punches. But its nice being able to dodge them with ease instead of falling into the bottom of a bottle to not feel getting hit now
. I guess I just need to find something that brings me happiness other than my boys. I thought I would get used to the 'schedule' by now..but unfortunately not yet..So in closing I would like to give some encouragement to those of you starting or thinking about starting the road to sobriety. Stay vigilant ! The world opens up in many different ways along the path. Sure you have some Real ( and I mean Real crappy days ) but they dont last long. Perceptions change..you see things differently..you react differently. When you persist through bad you get unimaginable rewards. Its like "Someone" is watching..and gives you a part of yourself as you go along. In bits and pieces you become more and more who you were meant to be. Do this single greatest thing you can possibly do for Yourself. Your here because the inner you yearn to be set free. Stay close to the nest and never close up. Above I described how cynical I have become of others..but not here. These are real people with real hearts of gold. I have Never found anyone like you..Thank you.
So I guess thats all I have for now. I really should fly to the Nest and dust off my favorite perch more often..a lot more often...
Peace and Love
Dave
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