Day 22 People!!!

[musomatt]

I ducked the forum for a week, as it was down for maintenance, and crumbs... have had a lot going on. This weekend was the hardest yet in some ways. Harder than the first two, as I felt like shit with a cold all week.

Then, all the family came over for a barbecue on Sunday. No-one knows I am AF right now, I deliberately have not made a song and dance about it. I don't want the hubbub that comes with that. So it was slightly challenging simply saying "thanks mate" every time a member of my family passed me a can of beer on sunday. It only happened twice. Both times I just left it on the side.

About 10 minutes later, made myself a coffee.

Drew one or two odd looks, but NOBODY said anything. I think they're getting used to me having 'these periods' where I don't drink so probably think nothing of it. Felt proud of myself yesterday. I was weak as hell at points on Sunday. Just went and sat somewhere quietly and pulled myself together. I even fell asleep on the couch at one point. I find mild meditation really helps in these situations.

My relationship with my wife and my kids has been on a whole new level this past two weeks. I think my wife thinks I am serious this time. I say this cautiously, for good reason.

Sobriety is fragile and precious as china everybody. x

Matt

[Pie]

Well done, Matt! Keep it going.

Pie

[musomatt]

Thanks Pie

[Cherokeer]

Keep it up Matt. Life gets better and better. AL does nothing but destroy us inside and out. The true testament of real strength is keeping strong when your at your weakest. Al is a sneaky probative bastard. Whispering in your ear, enticing you to just take that first drink. Because it knows that if you take that drink it has you once again. When I first stopped drinking I had to be at endless social drinking events. Mostly it was a "cold water in the face" realization that drunk people are so annoying and why the hell did I think this was fun. There were a couple of times it started to weaken my resolve because the romanticized memories started to creep in. The tapes of well "what if I just....." Those times were a bit awkward. It changes, you have to re-invent your place in the world. But I like who I am today. I have my dignity back. My husband and children have their mother back. It's a precious and beautiful life I have opportunity to be a part of. No bottle of poison is worth missing one minute of it. Stay strong in your quit. You will never be sorry. I promise you.

[Samstone]

that's great Matt. The more time you have AF, the easier it becomes. We are all creatures of habits. Once a new pattern is established, you'll wonder how in the world you had time to even mess with getting messed up. The real tricky part is when the temptation comes a-knockin at your inner door and you wanna but you know you shouldn't. That's why it is a good idea to really take stock in how good it feels to be sober so you can stay that way. And oh yes, remember to keep checking in here, helps to keep yourself accountable plus there are some really caring folks here when things aren't going so great.

Keep it going
Sam