One more try - right/wrong reasons and future ahead

[^Elle^]

Hello everyone --
I have been reading through your posts for a couple of years now. I too have a very familiar story. Mom of two wonderful kids, married to an amazing man, successful business owner - after I had my second child my drinking starting spiraling ... I 'drink responsibly' - I know.. kind of ironic I say that right? ... - but I NEVER drink during the day or when I am responsible for my kids. I am a "closet drinker" - comes 6-7 I drink as much as I can which for me is about a bottle of wine or three-four drinks... but enough to just numb me from the busy-ness and the stress life offers me.

I started a diet/detox October 1st - main reason is I want to lose these 10 pounds that I have been slowly gained in the last 2-3 years - I have always been super fit and these extra pounds bother me.

So long story short I decided to stop drinking - I am on day seven and feeling great - I have had no desire to drink as I am committed to reach my goal.
I know... wrong reasons right? I have SO many other reasons I NEED to stop drinking. I have so many terrible events related to AL and I am fortunate enough my husband has not given up on me.

The question is how will I face the reality that I do have an issue with AL after I reach my weight goal .... I am hoping to re-wire my brain a bit during this diet/detox period. But is that even a reality - is it really once an alcoholic always an alcoholic?

Sorry I feel like I am just mumbling out loud

<3 Elle

[Daisy38]

Hi Elle,

Thanks for sharing your story if you've been lurking for a while you'll know about the helpful hints in the tool box and the support network in the newbies nest.

My opinion is don't try to solve every issue at once, it can be overwhelming and demotivating, you've made a great start with the motivation of losing 10 pounds, look at this goal and set a plan to reach it include times like how will I celebrate when I get to my first milestone without alcohol! what will I do when I have a week with no weight loss the last thing you need is to give up and reach for the vino for comfort. I would then say assess the rest of your issues with alcohol when you have a couple of pounds to go by this point you may have reached a natural conclusion if not you will be equipped with enough sobriety to decide weather this life style change can or should be permanent .......just my thoughts but one step at a time

I have spent years trying to decide if I'm a problem drinker and have reached the decision that labels are some thing I can live with out. I know alcohol is not conducive with me and my life has improved vastly without it, I don't care to identify myself as an alcoholic etc I know that once I drank now I don't and that's enough for me

Hope this helps I'm sure you will get lots of advice and welcome

[See the Light]

Hi Elle- welcome and congrats on 1 week with no AL! You are well on your way, and already past one high hurdle. You’ve probably read here there are many reasons to drink, but even more reasons to stop…none of those are a bad reason in my opinion. Alcoholism is a disease, or should at least be treated as one (see link below), so I don’t think you ever really recover, but you can get better at managing the symptoms and avoiding the negative impacts. Control is a key factor, so hopefully you never lose that. Stay with us here and keep reading all the great advice, …oh and good luck on those few extra pounds too

http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/info2/a/aa022697.htm

[Ginger999]

Welcome, Elle!
Glad you registered. You've come to the right place for support and wisdom. Like the others said, make sure to visit the Newbies Nest and the Tool box. The links are in my sig line below. Your story sounds A LOT like mine. I think as the days pass you'll see the importance of giving up drinking not just for weight loss but for the other health benefits that come along when living without AL.

Congrats on seven days! That's huge. You are well on your way. The one tip I'd offer you as a Newbie is staying connected here. Read, post, read, post as much as time permits. You've just made one of the best decision you'll ever make.

[^Elle^]

Thank you all so much for your feedback! I will let you know how things go - for now I feel strong and determined. Seventh day almost under my belt. I will be in touch.

Elle

[^Elle^]

Day 8 - so far so good....

[MossRose]

Elle - nice to meet you and welcome. Your post intrigued me. I don't think there is only one "right" reason to quit drinking. You sound almost apologetic that your main reason for quitting is weight loss. In addition to losing those 10 pounds, you will also give your liver a break, your mind time to clear, and your family all of your love and attention. There is no downside. So when you lose the weight, just remember all the other good things that came along with being sober. My reasons for quitting were a bit different, but as long as the end result is the same - the reason doesn't really matter.

Why have you been lurking for years?

I did the same thing, but that's because I knew I had a problem. So, I propose that maybe you have been a worried about your drinking for some time now. Listen to your gut. It's always right. Anyway, just use the same motivation that you are using now to reach your current goal and transfer that energy to living an AL-free life. Don't analyze it - just do it. Good luck to you.

edit: moderation has always been a huge failure for me. So unfortunately, after testing this hypothesis several time, I do believe - once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.