New here, saying hello

[teadrinker]

Hi everyone. I am new to the site and have been happily sober for three months now. I just had to stop drinking as I was not in control whenever I started, so I decided to stop starting. Great you might think. And yes, it is great but I find myself missing it over the festive season. I had a lovely Christmas but everyone drinking and I just felt like the odd one out and ended up thinking I could just have one or two but also if I could do that I wouldn't have to stop, would I? Sorry for the ramble, just want your thoughts. Does anyone else find this time of year tough going?

[available]

Hi Tea, welcome and congrats on 3 months sober.

Xmas is a shocker for 99.9% of us i think. Why cant we be normal drinkers like everyone else? We feel left out for some reason when really at the end of the day i know i am an alcoholic and cant have one drink. It will take me to the sad drunken woman i was a year ago.

We have all tried moderating on here and have all thought we could control our intake of al and we have all failed dismally. We are addicted to al and therefore cannot drink.

I did not find xmas too bad this year as i have been sober a year and it does get easier with time and those al thoughts fade. When i first gave up i was 24 days sober at xmas and i hated it. I looked at everyones drink, i was angry i could not drink, i was deprived and pissed with the world. So as time goes on it gets better. I accept i cant drink now and i really dont want to go back to where i was.

[satz123]

i really dont want to go back to where i was.

This is the piece I find important.
This is the statement we all should ask ourselves -do we want to go back there?
The answer for me is a resounding NO

God ( change as you wish) in his/her wisdom has sent me my son as a reminder of where I was and where I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACK TO - EVER !!
Seeing his struggle is enough to let me see that alcohol is for mugs ...... ruins lives..... robs talent....
I used to pick out the moderate drinkers and wonder why I couldn't do that .......
Now I look at it all properly and I now feel sorry for those drinking

It's a few days that will pass

Eat chocolate
-works EVERY time.....

[Pinecone]

Hi Tea drinker, I wanted to welcome you and give you some support. It may help you if you search this site for the term "euphoric recall." We can get stuck looking back and only seeing what we remember now as pleasant. I try to keep in mind that any drinking thought whatsoever is just the addicted part of the brain looking for its fix. It was never just one or two, it was lots and lots, always looking for the next one. One or two set sail for us years ago. Three months AF is amazing! Don't look back, it's a trick!

[Eloise]

I want to offer you a warm welcome as well!
It sounds like giving up alcohol wasnt so hard for you? Be grateful about that, if this was indeed the case.
Ah.
I have to say that I am so grateful I am not drinking now. Usually I find the holidays depressing, but not this year. I am not bothered at all somehow?
In fact, as time rolls on I am more and more grateful to be free of alcohol & do not feel like I am missing out. It looks like you too are on the right track Teadrinker, good for you!:horse:

[lizker]

At this early stage we all are mourning the loss. I too had thoughts cross my mind but they were not as strong as they usually are. I now associate alcohol with the pain and its horrors than the pleasure. The holidays are almost over and with that less temptation as i settle back into my normal routine. I want to go into the new year VICTORIOUS.

[wyldetymes]

Hello Im new too
I find it very rough at this time even though Im still drinking'

I like your logic. But you must be very strong to live up to it over christmas - much admiration

I will pray for your resolve to hold

[teadrinker]

Thanks everyone. I did stay alcohol free throughout Christmas and New Year. I haven't been on this site much, I lurk but don't really know where I fit. I got on the scales this morning and realised I had gained 20 pounds since I gave up alcohol. :eek-new:

I ca't have that. I worked far too hard to lose weight a few years ago even though I was drinking I lost over 80 pounds and I've managed to keep it off till now. Since giving up the booze I developed a sweet tooth, I ate chocolate and ice cream, stuff I never wanted when drinking.

This weight gain is like a slap in the face for me. I was drinking a bottle of wine a day, plus sometimes when I lost all that weight. Today maybe I am thinking I should just go back to that. At least then all the turmoil is on the inside and I don't have to buy a whole new wardrobe.

[available]

Tea great work on staying sober. I too have gained weight but i am more content now than when i was drinking. I turned to sugar also and at about 9 months my intake started to slow down. I focused on not drinking and realising the rest will follow when my body had healed from all the crap(al) i had put into it for 20+ years. I would prefer to gain a few pounds than have liver damage etc from drinking as the levels i drank at were dangerous (2 bottles a day) and it was only a matter of time before i suffered health issues, i actually already was starting.

Take it one day at a time Tea, there is no rush to do anything except not drink. A little weight compared to the shame, guilt, remorse, regret, embarrassment of drinking is nothing. Give yourself time Tea and everything will settle down.

I totally enjoy walking now which i did not do when drinking as it interrupted my drinking time. Incorporate some exercise if you dont now to balance out your sugar intake.

Drinking again is not worth it. I would prefer to have a few extra kilo's and be happy than be a sad bloated drunk.

The newbies nest is a great place to settle in if you have not been there already.

[gambler]

Hiya Teadrinker

I lurk but don't really know where I fit.

Thats the cool thing about the Nest..perches are all over the place. Some up high where you can just hang out and flutter down once and a while and Some of us hang out in the hot zone where all the action is. Whatever is works best for you is just fine.

Since giving up the booze I developed a sweet tooth, I ate chocolate and ice cream, stuff I never wanted when drinking.

LOL..yup, yea and yes! I did the exact same thing. I never ate sweets..ice cream once and a blue moon. Then BAM! After a few months or so sober I started up on the sugars. Ice cream..snack packs..cookies..soda pops.( all in one sitting after dinner..everynight ). I mean huge bowls of the stuff lol. My kids thought it was great that I quit drinking..and the goodness of the sweetie side affects was the cherry on top ( figuratively and literally ). I tried at first to keep an eye on it. After a while I said the hell with it and didnt fight it. Id say ..oh..about my one year mark I suddenly just stopped craving it. Now I only drink the sodas and coffee with sugar. So much coffee in fact that I switched over to Half-Caff rofl. It will pass...probably later that you would like and yea you should stop eating that crap. But your quit takes presidence.

Ive got nothing on the weight gaining thing though. With such a high motabolism I couldnt put on 10 pounds if I needed to. But you can always burn it off. Meh..I dunno..dont want to say the wrong thing lol.

Dave.

[A new page]

Hi Teadrinker,
Great job at 3 months! I am also right about there....made it through the Holidays, which are a huge trigger for me. I remember thinking what a stupid time to try to quit, but since it worked --- must have been brilliant!!!:congratulatory:

Now that you are starting to get the cravings under control, maybe you can cut back a little bit on the sweets. Buy a lower fat ice cream and eat a little less. Eat slower and savor every bite. I HATE artificial sweeteners, think they are poison besides tasting like crap, so I don't try that route.....but the lower fat ice creams are decent. Also sherbet or Italian ice have less fat, so less calories.
Don't beat yourself up! This is a horrible time of the year for getting exercise. One more month to go, and we can all get outside for walks and burn calories that way......

Buy some raw vegetables, and keep handy for when you need something to munch on. Those baby carrots are nice, even my dogs like them!

Be good to yourself, you deserve it.......quitting alcohol is REALLY HARD, getting the weight off will be much easier.

[lizker]

Good to know iam not alone with the sugar beinges. I too have gained a few lbs but the victory i have in soberiety out does any insecurities i have of how i look. I actually enjoy the fact that i am craving and eating things like cup cakes that alcohol denied me for years. My drinking was very rutualistics. Eating plenty of fruits and veggies helps reduce the amount of sugar i consume, water is very helpful too. You are doing great, jus stay on the right path.

[teadrinker]

Thanks everyone. My weight gain seems to have gone directly to my boobs, never had big boobs in my life. I suppose that's not too huge a price to pay for sobriety (pardon the pun).

Dave, I don't know if I feel comfortable in the nest.It comes across as very preachy, I am doing okay and happy to be sober but maybe not at the signing up for life stage just yet.

Liz, I am pretty sure I can lose the weight easily, I lost 80lbs a few years back so although I am indulging in the sweet stuff right now, I know I can pull that back.

I guess I am just a little lost right now. I gave up drinking because I wanted to. It wasn't a 'rock bottom' thing for me. I wasn't in trouble or in danger of losing anything. I stopped just to see what life was like without drinking. And I Like it, a lot. I see the word 'alcoholic' a lot in the nest. That label does not sit well with me. It has very negative connotations and I really don't see myself or my drinking in that way. Maybe that's why I don't feel I fit in. Anyway, thanks for the responses, I think an hour or so at the gym is in order!

[Turnagain]

Hi Teadrinker - glad you're here and reaching out for some like-minded support. Like you, I didn't have a 'rock-bottom' moment and I absolutely will not apply the label 'alcoholic' to anyone as it is not only socially stigmatizing, it is also quite scientifically ambiguous. I DO understand why some people use the term, especially in terms of using it as a center point in their resolve to keep a highly addictive substance out of their lives. No judgment intended to those of you who use the A word - it's just much more empowering and factual to attribute the problem to the substance as opposed to the person.

And therein lies the biggest objection I have to the term 'alcoholic.' It shifts the focus away from the real problem, which is alcohol itself. It doesn't matter whether you label yourself as a normal drinker, an alcoholic drinker or a polka-dotted drinker. Alcohol damages every cell in everybody's body every time. That's a fact and it's not refutable. Alcohol is a toxin. Always. It's not just the 'dose that makes the poison.' And it's not just an addictive poison for some people.

Here's a fairly easy to digest rundown of how ethanol impacts the brain. This is an everytime kinda thing. There just aren't any exceptions. Brain chemistry doesn't make that distinction:

http://www.rise.duke.edu/apep/pages/page.html?020404

The alterations aren't always easily obvious - but they always occur. Women have even more strikes against them compared to men when it comes to alcohol's effects because of our higher body fat ratio, lower weight and lack of a couple of enzymes. Whether you're a male or female, the effects are cumulative. And, sooner or later, in some people the effects lead to addiction.

I was in the 'later' category. Much like you, Teadrinker I was very reluctant to go into the forever stage of leaving alcohol behind. I simply thought I had just developed a bad 'habit' and for a few years I was able to contain my drinking when I tried and always felt great when I wasn't drinking. And when I went back to drinking, my tolerance would just start building again - starting where it left off - instead of 'resetting' as I was hoping. Eventually - and inevitably - there came a time when I couldn't contain the drinking.

The reason I was able to finally break free of addiction is that I faced the physical facts of what alcohol does to the body - each and every time. These facts enabled me to take the steps to objectively heal the biochemical damage that was done over decades of drinking this toxic drug.

I know I can come on strong, but I would be doing you and others a disservice if I did not share this information. It comes without judgement and with the best intentions possible.

The only regret I have in my life is that I didn't ditch the toxin a whole lot earlier. Time is a limited commodity for all of us and there's just no need to waste it being wasted.

[autumn]

Hi Tea,

Congrats on staying sober through one of the toughest times. Mollyka is right, next will follow all sorts of celebrations/commiserations involving AL. I just break it down to hours, knowing In a few hours I will be in bed sober with another day notched up.

Please hang in there with the weight change, it will level out and the sweet cravings ease. Al is just fermented sugar, of which I am sure I ingested a whole plantation over the years!

Chocolate and ice-cream got me over the worse. But thankfully it has passed. I have lost nearly 35lbs since I gave up drinking. It has slowly melted away. Exercise has helped. My only exercise was walking to the shop to buy more booze!

Hmmmmm living a crappy sh*tty life as a fat bloated alcoholic or where I am now. Even my liver feels lighter ha ha ha!

Frozen grapes and yoghurt work well for a sweet fix. Keep in-touch we are all rooting for you:thumbsup: