Day 44 today!

[lizker]

Hi all and hope y'all had a wonderful Xmas and thanks giving. Last time i was here i was struggling so bad. I honestly thought i was at the end of the rope.
For those of you who may not be familiar with my story, i had a really bad withdraw which resulted in major DT's including Hallucinations, insomnia, terrible shakes etc. I tried going to ERs but didn't get any help there.
Things got really bad from the last time i posted here. I couldn't sleep for days due to the audible hallucination. It was like a rock band was playing in my head 24 7. This lasted about 7 days.
Due to the frustration i tried drinking again which made things worse. 44 days ago i believe i hit rock bottom and something just clicked and i haven't wanted to touch a drink again. This is the first time i have celebrated the holidays without alcohol.
For those of you wanting to quit, please listen to that voice. It knows where the beast is taking you and its just ringing alarm bells. It will only get worse. I haven't had long-term success quitting but i know i can do this especially after what i went through.

[paulywogg]

Awesome Lizker,I have often thought about you hoping you were ok,great job on 44 days!!! No going back now

[Pinecone]

Great to see you back, Liz! I often wondered about you. Congrats on your AF time!

[daisy45]

Very well done Lizker! There just comes a time when you gotta do what you gotta do! Imagine how great 2015 will be.......

[lizker]

Paulywogg and Pinecone. Sorry i couldn't touch base sooner. Thanks for thinking about me. I still remember all your kind words and encouragement during those dark times.
Daisy45, the excitement of starting a new year AF has been a real inspiration to really get focused. Distractions and temptations are fewer after the holidays. I really want to build up on the progress i have made and never look back.

[Pie]

Liz!! How great to have you pop in with good news of yourself! You were really in a bad way there the last time, and not having much luck getting help, as I recall. So happy to see you, sideways one! Well done on your 44 days! Stay strong, and stick around why don't you? Plenty of fine, fine folks here to keep company with.

[lizker]

Thanks pie. I did miss my MWO family a lot and felt guilty for not touching base with people who encouraged me and supported me at that time. I will by all means stick around. Somehow time away does help me with tapping into the inner strength. Last night i was with my friend and family members who were drinking quite heavily. The thoughts ofcourse lingered the entire time but my nightmarish experience is very well entrenched in my mind so it was never an option to pick up.
I woke up this morning sooo refreshed and i couldn't help but smile at how good i feel and how crappy they must feel. Not that i wish that on them but i still remember what it used to feel like.
I gotta be careful though not to deliberately set myself up for such intense temptations though. I may feel strong one day but there's not guarantee that, that will be the case next time.