Starting Jan 1 2015

[Senin]

I decided to quit on January 1st. I had my last beer and shot of tequila, and now I am ready to get to work.

For the last year or so I have been dabbling at various methods to help me quit. I think what I really need to do was set a date and make a commitment. I don't think my personality is suited to AA, but it maybe be an option in the future.

I have been reading a lot about EMDR and find it fascinating. It has a protocol for addiction. I am still trying to find an EMDR practioner in my area that specializes in substance abuse. I have been practicing on myself using the EMDR Protocols with Isochronic youtube videos that have the light moving back and forth. I realize that is not the best option but it will do until I find a practioner. I only drink at night so I have been substituting alcohol with grapefruit sparkling water or ginger tea. I am increasing my exercise to every day (especially yoga). Big Mind meditation. Some NLP techniques (especially the Compulsion BlowOut and Core Transformation). I have been thinking a lot about liver damage. I been looking at photos of alcoholic livers on the internet and wondering how bad mine is. I feel a sensitivity in my chest and wonder, is that my liver or pancreas? How bad are my organs after decades of drinking? I plan on making a doctor's appointment for a check up soon.
My last component is that I need to get more involved in life, find a passion. Maybe windsurfing, sailing, volleyball, yoga. I need more of a moving toward goal.

I think my biggest challenge is... what do people do at night if they don't drink? That sounds crazy, but that has been my hobby. I think what I seek my drinking is comfort (an escape from anxiety, frustration, etc). So I have been watching TV, eating cheese and crackers, reading a spy novel and playing a silly computer game.

That's is for me, for now. It's only day 3. Keeping my fingers crossed.

[open halo]

Senin nice to have you here at the MWO! It's great that you have a plan and now a quit date. I haven't heard much about EMDR Protocols but there are so many knowledgeable people on this site, I'm sure you can get further information and share your experiences. Getting a checkup with a doctor is a great way to start off your year, along with excercising every day. It sounds like you are beginning with a great plan this New Year! Please check out the Newbie's Nest thread, it is an active site where you will be able to touch base and discuss issues with many of us who are leaving alcohol in the dust, where it belongs!

My fingers are crossed for you as well but I find when I have urges, I come to the MWO and read, read, read and post as well. For me crossing my fingers isn't enough! It's time to find another plan , because drinking should most definitely not be a hobby! Wishing you the absolute best and glad you are starting the New Year with a goal to being alcohol free!

[Altaman]

I read your post with interest, so glad you've made the decision to go alcohol free.

Your comment about what to do at night if you're not drinking. I'm only on Day 5 but I have found three hours every evening, time I used to spend drinking. I'm filling that time with different things - reading, I recently bought a new camera so am learning all about its features and when I get thinking about AL, I sign on here.

Open Halo is spot on in suggesting you check out Newbies Nest, lots of us do frequently.

So glad you made this difficult decision Senin! Your friends on MWO are with you all the way!

Altamanw

[available]

hi senin and welcome

What i did early on was post like a lunatic on here and read what i could on here also. i watched you tube documentaries on alcoholism and watched movies on al also. I paced, i cleaned, i showered a lot, i talked to my boys who live with me, i texted my girls who knew i was not drinking. Its hard when all ones thoughts are focused on not drinking and getting through each second, minute, hour. I slept when i was tired as i knew if i was overtired i would not sleep. I never left the house except to go to work and come home, i did my shopping before work. i ate whatever i wanted and i was gentle with myself. if i felt like doing something i did and if i didnt then that was fine too. We put al down our throats for such a long time and it takes time for our bodies to heal and our minds. Even after a year sober i am still healing emotionally but each day i am better and stronger. I have very few thoughts of al now, it was my past and being sober is my future.

Keep on here, head to the Newbies Nest, there is always someone around to listen or chat to. I know i could never ever have gotten to where i am without the support of here. We understand what you are going through.

[MossRose]

Senin, my friend, I am so proud of you. You have taken a great step here. I told you there would be good support for you in Just Starting Out. Please listen to Ava. She is a friend of mine - we started together - and she is very inspiring and wise (oh - and she'll make you laugh,too!!)

Hang in there. The first couple of weeks are rough. It does have a lot to do with finding replacement activities for drinking. I too slept a lot, ate a lot, couldn't completely focus until my body and mind had detoxed. Now I have too many passions and not enough time. It will happen for you too. Just give it a bit of time.

The Nest moves quickly, and it's not for everyone, but you might want to give it a try. So much love and support there. You don't have to "keep up." Just join in for now. That is enough. Take good care of yourself. xx

[Pavati]

Hi, Senin:

Welcome and congratulations on taking the plunge - you will never regret a day you don't drink.

When I first quit, I did what Ava did. I think I read and posted on nearly every thread here. I watched hours of documentaries, read blogs and memoirs, listened to the Bubble Hour podcast, hiked, practiced yoga, ate whatever I wanted.

When I was done with the AL movies, I moved on to some of those Netflix series - loved the Killing (I watched the American version). I still hike, I read, exercise, play games with my kids, surf the Internet, cook healthy meals. There are SO many possibilities with sober evenings. Getting involved with life and finding a passion will come with more sobriety, I have no doubt.

Hope you stick around and read and post - let the good people here support you.

Pav

[Senin]

Thanks for all the encouragement. You guys are the best. It hasn't been too hard so far. I know it is way early and the little monster of cravings may be right around the corner. My routine has been pretty good. I never have an urge in the daytime so that is no problem. At night, I play my stupid computer game, watch tv, been eating a lot of cheese and crackers, read in bed. Then an early lights out. It helps that I have to get up at 6:40 am and get me child off to school. Then it's yoga and a workout. I made an appointment for next week with an Ayurvedic (sister science to yoga) doctor. They are suppose to recommend a healthy life-style and herbs. I still would like to hook up with an EMDR specialist-- still looking for one in my area.

[NotHappyHourHappyLife]

Hi Senin, welcome!

Sometimes at the beginning, it seems like drinking, and then NOT drinking, becomes the focus of "life"... so in some ways for me, being obsessed with non drinking was almost as bad as drinking. If you want to think about why you resolved to make these changes and to write them down, that really helped me. There is a website called, "women for sobriety" and they have a list of affirmations that you can read and think about. Put them in your own words, or find the ones that speak to your heart. The one that resonated with me: "I have a life threatening problem that once had me".

HOWEVER, sometimes it's nice to escape from alcohol.... thinking "to be or not to be"... It's kind of like when you see a friend and you say, "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC!", and she replies, "Oh no I don't! There's a red zit in the middle of my forehead!"... and now, instead of making eye contact with your friend, you only see the red zit in the middle of her forehead?

So, some things you can do, instead of sitting there saying to yourself, "I'm not drinking. It's an hour later and I'm still not drinking... It's 2 hours later and I'm still not drinking....":

1. Put on some good music.... if you listen to Pandora and create a station of happy music... my favorite Pandora Station is "American Pie"- great old rock and roll mixed in with some modern jams! You have a child? Dance time!

2. Clean out your junk drawer (does everyone have one?).... or other random places that you've been meaning to get to, but you haven't....

3. Remember that old hobby? Crocheting, Needle Point, Decopage, Scrap booking family memories, Refinishing an old desk.....

4. You mentioned a child... Get a 750 piece puzzle and spread it on your dining room table. Something fun, mindless chatter will follow.

Congratulations on your commitment to a new you. It's not always an easy journey, and there may come a day in the future where everything is going great and out of the blue, a random thought of, "Wow! A nice glass of merlot would taste great right about now!"... being prepared and knowing this is a normal temptation can help you acknowledge, but not act upon these thoughts.

Hugs. Patty :hug: