This place isn't new to me, I've been here many times under other names. I'm back, making myself accountable. I am totally ashamed.....sat in my basement and drank from 1pm on......woke up on the couch at 4am. I have stopped drinking in the past....some times for 6 months, another time for 9 months (AA). I started getting those terrible thoughts, that I could handle it again, and off I went. I realize that I just can't....not one, because one leads to so much more. I'm a better person, mother, and wife if I'm not drinking. I just have to keep in my mind, I can't just have one.
Tonight I am meeting up with one of my old AA buddies and we're going to a meeting. It will be a tough pill to swallow, but losing myself, kids and husband would be much worse than pride.
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