Can anyone associate?

[LiveFromTheMonkeyTrial]

Hi,

Have just joined this forum although I have perused here before (over some years actually).

I consider myself a problem drinker and the consequences are found on my mood, waistline, sex drive, memory and attention span. My intention is to take ten weeks off the booze as part of a personal renewal - today is day one (or maybe zero). Would be great not to drink ever but let's take it one step at a time.

Some considerations:

• Bars are my primary source of social contact and relaxation.
• In the long-term it doesn't matter if I start my renewal tomorrow (or next week for that matter), but we know the consequences of that rationale...
• Drink has been part of my lifestyle for many years and my will power is not as strong as once it was.

Some things I think are in my favour:

• I have quit smoking before and successfully dieted.
• Can't drink if I have just eaten - if I can stay dry until dinner time I have got a chance.
• Over the years I have squirreled away various sleeping aids.
• Don't get withdrawal unless I replace alcohol with caffeine (a mistake you only make once).
• I find it a crutch to have ready access to booze (although the thought of the wine revolts me and I have only had a couple of cravings for a beer.

Biggest trigger I foresee is boredom and sense of deprivation and with those in mind I envisage the following model day:

7am - get coffee and breakfast at cafe (fulfils need for social contact outside work).
8am-4:30pm - work (drinking at lunchtime not possible)
4:30-5:30 - MY USUAL FEET ON BAR STOOL TIME - get myself home and go for walk with MP3 player.
5:30-6:30 - I enjoy writing, this could prove distraction.
6:30 - evening meal, renders drinking unlikely
8pm - take sleeping pill and wind down.

In dealing with cravings my philosophy is to see abstinence as self-empowering: know will feel good tomorrow, can expect compliments from co-workers in due course etc.

Would be interested to hear how others are organizing their drink-free days. Warm regards.
- 'MonkeyTrials

[available]

Hi Monkey and welcome.

I set myself no goals or expectations and i had no real plans. The only plan i had was to be gentle with myself and to not drink. I also removed all al out of the house. Why have it when i knew i would drink it. That was not rocket science for an alcoholic as eventually i would drink it. I did my shopping before the bottleshops opened and when i got home i stayed home and came onto mwo, read and posted.

If bars are your primary source of contact then join a group or a gym. People in bars are there for a reason and that is to drink. Its up to you when you stop drinking, the only person you are truly hurting is yourself, i threw in a few family members for goodwill when i drank. If you want to stop and change your life you will find the willpower. I was a drinker from 16 and a heavy one for the past ten + years, the blackouts were getting to me and my health was deteriorating.

I quit drinking but have not quit smoking. That annoys the crap out of me but i will give up eventually. sounds like i did when i gave up drinking, i will eventually! I procrastinate about it.

Boredom, i like that comment. I too thought i would be so bored it would be like a brain freeze but i have taken up knitting again, i walk, i go to work, i watch tv/movies and actually remember the shows and not just the beginning. I am more than willing to go out and socialise now i dont have a raging hangover to contend with that lasted until 5pm when it was drinking time again. If true boredom sets in i can always clean.

There are so many benefits of not drinking and now after a year i can find absolutely not one positive aspect of drinking at all. It took so much of my life and gave me nothing in return except guilt, shame, remorse, sadness, etc etc etc. Sure i functioned but now i know it was not a life at all, i was here in body but not in soul. Now i am totally in 2015 and i could not be happier with my life.

Best of luck and look at the Newbies nest there are lots of others around to chat to.

[LiveFromTheMonkeyTrial]

Thanks for the welcome, available.

Had a day of harassments from all sides. Temporarily contemplated getting a beer but then realized that would be no solution (unless I had a skin full and I was in no mood). So, came straight home for my evening walk but found myself too tired, at least I made it through day three..

Three days in and I feel less puffy but no one else has noticed.

[Byrdlady]

Congrats on day 3! You are operating under your own power now!
That is one of the beauties of this site, in real life, we dont get prizes for being AF....no one knows the struggle it is to get thru a day AF or what a sense of accomplishment it is to have made it 3 days without our closest friend, AL. WE understand here.
Come join us in the Newbies nest and be sure to check out the Tool Box, links below. We are so glad you're here! Great job on those 3 days ....your eyes DO look less puffy and I bet food tastes better, too! Keep up the great work, it is worth it! Byrdie

[little beagle]

I use to worry about filling that time I spent drinking. Now I just don't have enough time to get the things done I want to do. Congratulations on 3 days. Enjoy your freedom from alcohol.

[treetops]

Great going on 3 days without AL. We all handle our AF time in different ways -for me, it was not a question of filling time or doing more - as I was and am busy enough. It was about learning to not try to be busy all the time and not feeling guilty about not working most of the time. I have a job/interests where I do not have set hours and I enjoy the fact that my 'work' spills into my home life. So I had to find others ways than AL to take time out.
One thing maybe - be careful with the sleeping aids as its easy to become very dependent on these. Even the ones that are not supposed to be addictive. Its quite normal to have broken sleep - more people do than is often realized. People who have been heavily dependent on AL expect to be able to crash out and fall asleep. I used the fear of not sleeping as one (there were many others) rationale for drinking for many years.
Good luck.

[See the Light]

Being sober gives you such perspective. You will never see what you are missing until you see it without being drunk. Life is what you make it...but you cannot make it while drinking. I missed so much while drunk....go back to sober, you will be amazed how wonderful it is once you get past the transition....

[gambler]

Hi Monkey and welcome.

One big thing that can help is writing. Seeing as how you suggested a one hour slot in your day for this..and if your anything like me..then you might find yourself scratching off one hour per post LOL. The thing that most helped me was getting on this board and writing..expressing myself no matter what it was. Before I knew it hours had passed and any cravings along with it.

I agree that you should have no problem filling the drinking time gap. Your gonna change..have much more energy and a mental capacity that would look good on a NASA resume. The thing is not what your going to do..its that you can do anything. Want to hop in the car and just take a drive ? Your golden. Want to dig a foundation for that new addition you've been wanting.. get that done by lunchtime.

Having the choice to do anything you want sober rivals that of having slim to no chance of making any choice at all. Especially being who you are..not a chance in hell having a choice at that drinking.

Define who you are by making that choice..definitively.

Dave.