Thank you!

[MossRose]

I love MWO. The people here saved my life and I will be forever grateful. There are not enough words to express my gratitude. And while I can't thank everyone personally, I can call out a few - Byrdie, Lav, NS, Ava, Pav, Cowboy, Nar, Sam, Beachy, Rusty, Turn and SoberSoul, Thank you for always being there for me. To those I haven't mentioned, I apologize - your love and support has been immeasurable.

But lately, I've noticed that MWO has changed. Maybe it's me. Maybe I'm the one who's changed. But I no longer feel comfortable speaking my mind here. I have started to delete posts, because I don't want to offend anyone. In the beginning, I just spoke my mind. I was such a newbie, I just didn't know any better. That's not the case anymore.

But now I'm tired. The conflicts are driving me crazy. I just can't do this anymore. I know leaving MWO is a gamble. NoSugar and I were talking earlier today, and she warned me of the pitfalls of going it alone. I know she is right, and I promise you all, I will be careful. But I can't see any other way. Wish me luck, my friends. I will think of you all daily. Carry on.

xx, Moss

[abcowboy]

Nothing much to say Moss, take care my friend, you will always be in my thoughts.... :hug: and a lesson in there for all of us I think.....

[NoSugar]

As you know, Moss, I have a lot to say, and have sent you one last message in an effort to convince you not to let the imperfect aspects of an online peer support group detract from all the benefits it can offer. And that I think we need. There is more going on here that is good than bad and given that we're all human, with the gifts and flaws that come with that, it actually works remarkably well. If you leave, please know that you'll always be welcomed back with open cyber-arms. :hug:.

[Byrdlady]

Just seeing this, Moss. Thank you for the kind words!
I tell you, if I left MWO every time there was a brew-ha-ha, Id have to install a revolving door on my computer.
Many years ago, when I was a brand newbie, (pleisticine period) ther was a BIG brawl and 5 or 6 members stormed off. Dont ask me why, but I wrote their names down on a sticky. The other day I was going thru my MWO stickies and I noticed that list, ALL of them had fallen, most HAD come back. Moral of the story, there are always going to be Ebbs and Flows around here, but in the end, the good way outweighs the bad! Like you've heard me say, I drank AT and ate AT people for years and all I became was a fat drunk! Same thing here, the only one you will be hurting is yourself. As ALKIES we NEED support, part of that support is being of service to others, I dont know anyone who does that better than YOU. Secondly, as selfish as it sounds, I post for ME. My posts document my journey to ME. I can look back at my own posts from years ago and see how far Ive come. I have deleted my share of posts, too, theres no crime there.
So I will come out and say it, please dont go! We need you and need need us! If someone gets under your skin, out them on ignore, it is VERY liberating!!! Leaving here will only hurt YOU, so dont do it!!! Much love and admiration, Byrdie

[BeachGirly]

I WANT you to stay - and I NEEd your input and ideas.
Please stay - conflict and all -

[Byrdlady]

Mossy,
Have you seen that commercial on tv that shows the paramedics coming up to a guy saying 'You are about to have a heart attack,'.
If I may be so bold to say, you have some warning signs here that have my alarms going off for you. Do not let AL back in, no matter what. We are all just people here, but we are all fighting the same demon. Dont give in.....AL is strong, do not give way!
Please check in with us. Byrdie

[Pavati]

Hi, Mossy;

I agree with Byrdie and NoSugar! Don't go! Pulling away from support is a sign of relapse, even if you don't see it coming.

One thing I have been learning over the years is that you can't control others actions, you can only control your reactions to them. When I see the snipping here, I just keep my nose out of it. I am not here to engage in petty, personal attacks. I am here to get support from a gigantic group of well-meaning people.

When conversations are only typed out and not spoken, something is always lost. We can't hear tone or see facial expressions. This can lead to misunderstandings. Pair that with a bunch of recovering alcoholics going through the mood swings, anxiety and fear, and you have a recipe for some kerfluffles. We're all adults here, though. We'll get over it.

If you feel you still HAVE to leave, I understand, but make sure you go for some in-person or other type of regular, communal support. If you disagree with me, go read about relapse. One woman on the Bubble Hour relapsed after FIFTEEN years after pulling away from her support.

xo
Pav

Pav

[Matt M.]

Moss~ no matter were we go, work, attend support groups, there will always be some conflict, disagreements of some sort. Your opinion matters in here, not everyone is going to agree and that's ok. I take what works for me in here and leave the rest. Hate to see you go because I don't believe it's going to be much different anywhere else.
There is one thing for sure, we are all in this together and the end game/ results are are shared equally among us.
Hope to see you around!

[A new page]

Moss Ross,
I agree with everyone, stick around, PLEASE! I think you would be delighted to know how many people enjoy reading your posts. I know I do!:thumbsup:

I don't know if anyone has mentioned something that we all know....that early recovery from alcohol is "an emotional roller coaster"and "a period of tumultuous feelings"....It is not unusual for people in early recovery to lash out at people for no reason, especially people whom they know are trying to help them.

This is not what they/we mean to do, but the brain is screwed up and it happens.
Here is an informative link about anger in recovery: http://alcoholrehab.com/addiction-re...r-in-recovery/

All that said, "Newbie's Nest" is going to have some outbursts and hurtful comments lashing out at others due to having a bunch of people in early stages of recovery.

It takes a thick skin to stick around for years and help people that are experiencing these feelings, and I thank those that do! (Not calling anyone THICK here... )

[lifechange]

Hey Mossy,
I just want to chime in and say that I agree with the others. For me, you have been a source of support and insight. I understand feeling like you need a break from MWO, but maybe you could just stick to a thread or two instead of leaving completely..? You've got 6 months now, which is a great amount of time! But I worry too about you leaving your support group. :heartbeat:

[Pinecone]

Hi Moss,

I've always considered you a class act. I've seen some of the threads you are maybe referring to and I think you handled yourself appropriately.

You said it yourself, but I must agree: NoSugar is absolutely one hundred percent correct. The positives of being connected to your support group outweigh any minor personality conflicts. "The perfect is the enemy of the good."

If Byrdie and NoSugar were giving me advice, I'd damn well take it!

[available]

Its not time to leave Moss, you are not ready to do it on your own. Im not ready to do it on my own. I do remember i went through a couple of pure anger stages in my quit along the way. I just did not understand where it came from, it wasnt me, i no that. You have too much to contribute to leave and i love your posts girl.

[Byrdlady]

Ok, been doing some digging....if our words wont get thru, maybe your own will. This is from May 26, 2014. MOSSROSE WROTE:

Hi friends. It's been a while since I dropped in here, but as our wonderful NS keeps reminding me - going it alone is not a good option for me. When I get upset, I tend to isolate. When I isolate, I drink. Not a good idea. So, I am going to try to stay connected. And I can't think of any other people in the world that I would rather stay connected to than all of you. I have so much reading to do, because I know I have missed some interesting and inspiring posts. I just hate that I'm always down and feel like I shouldn't "infect" this thread with my endless problems. So, I'm going to vent a bit tonight, and then I will try to recapture some of the happiness I used to feel when I first arrived here and got myself sober. I owe you all so much. You have done so much for me. End quote.

Part of growing older and wiser is learning from past mistakes....not repeating them.
What is it that has you upset? The thing in the NN was a minor misunderstanding, did something else happen? Heck, Im usually in the middle of the discord, I must have missed something!
hope you are having a better day. Byrdie

[MossRose]

Byrdie - you win. Thank you. You are incredibly persistent.

I owe everyone here a huge apology. How many public meltdowns does a member get before they are banned for life? Yes, I am under incredible stress in my life right now, but that doesn't give me the right to take it out on people here. I have received nothing but love and support on MWO. These posts remind me of how selfish I can be at times. I don't trust myself right now. NoSugar, as always, you saw through my bullshit email this morning. I thought I was being brilliant and persuasive. Thank God, you are smarter than me. Cowboy - you are relentless too, and I can't be more pleased to call you my friend.

Yes, I planned on drinking. Not today, maybe not tomorrow, but probably soon. I was starting to feel irritated. I felt edgy. Life was getting on my nerves. I assume that much was obvious from my posts. To those I have offended, I hope you can forgive me. I almost just made the biggest mistake of my life. I doubt I could have quit again. I'm just not strong enough.

Sorry all for the drama. I'm still hanging in there. Thanks to all of you.

[BeachGirly]

YAAAAA - I am so happy.

Not offended - we were just worried for you and would miss you!!

Hugs.
BG