1 year AF Free and looking back !

[Rahulthesweet]

Eliose,

I meant creep in a positive way. Let me tell you one of the things I still struggle with. I have always been shy person, never good in casual social settings. In professional meetings giving presentation or explaining technical has never been an issue but the the casual loose talk, sharing, opening up or chit chatting amoung group of freind have always been hard for me. With year of daily drinking I had in a way found a solution to that. I used to drink and just babble around and in a way also getting rid of my inhibitions.

Now when I am sober that struggle is back. As if I am back in time to those days. I absolutely dont feel like drinking in those conditions but want to work on to remove that "creepiness" which probably others feel when they are around me : sitting there calm and silent. Or maybe I myself feel odd and they just ignore me.

No sugar challange has failed for me so far. But I got my blood work done this week. I was amazed to see every darn parameter normal ! Yes I am staging one pill to control my cholestrol but wow ! Unfortunately, that has not helped in my resolve to cut sugar and carbs.

I feel in this journey towards sobriety should not be just about getting rid of AL but overall improving the quality of life. And my life as improved !

Past 10 years I used to come home drunk and crash on bed. I missed my daugter's early childhood. But I am making a point not to miss my younger's son's childhood. Now a days I look forward to bed time stories as opposed to crashing on the bed drunk ...

I also feel with so much lies and fake promises with to myself I had crushed by soul. Now I want to awaken it, do genuine good, make real good relationships,heal wounds ..

I'll tell you leaving AL was VERY tough , very very hard. But living life can be such a great experience ....

[Eloise]

Hey Rahul- I hear you about being socially shy but doing fine in a professional environment. Me too.
I really struggle with social encounters. I was at a dinner party last week, for 6 hours, and I had to be dragged there. It was unbelievably long and tedious and I had to do my best not to seem bored out of my mind. I am terrible with small talk. And that is what you have to do when you have dinner with people you hardly know.

It was interesting to watch some people really dive into the wine, and others had no interest.
There was a little pushing it on me, but not much.

I think many of us use alcohol as an avoidance mechanism. I would have preferred to avoid that dinner entirely!! And when we want to stop, well it is a little late to do it with ease.

The thing is it isn't too late to heal wounds and forge new relationships with people in our lives.
It sounds like your heart is in the right place, and none of this can be forced. Time is on our side at this point I think?

I am really curious to see how you did today on your new way of looking at food?
It is a lot easier than giving up alcohol Rahul, I promise. Sending you sunny shiny positive rays your way!

[Rahulthesweet]

Eloise,

Thanks for the nice words of encouragement. And I so relate to you. Sometimes I feel I am rare species. And now being sober I am rarer !!

I am for sure found new meanings and objectives in life. And I have also stared seeing life from a new prospective and rather much more meaningful one ...

[aquamarine]

Thank you for your post. It was very inspiring and gives me some hope. Congratulations! That is truly an admirable hard earned accomplishment!!