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Been absent but I have kept my quit!

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    Been absent but I have kept my quit!

    So, I've felt pretty bad that I kinda ran away from the forums when the site changed. I'm usually not that bad about forum changes, but at that point in time it was apparently too much for me to handle. And then even saying that seemed too hard at the time...well, I'm sure everyone understands how sometimes just everything seems so difficult.

    The good news is that with support and stubbornness, I have kept my quit despite being tempted more than once to "just have one." Even though I haven't been around, I can still thank you guys for help with that. I forget who it was, but a few folks had posted that they felt like if they really WANTED a drink, then it probably wasn't safe to have one. I'm taking that as a reason I shouldn't. It's annoying and sometimes irritates me hugely...but I know if I don't have that one, I'm safe in my sobriety. If I have that one I can't be sure where it will end. :/

    A few of you messaged me while I've been away and I send so much love out to you! I didn't expect anyone to do that. I'm also sorry to anyone who was worried; quitting is kind of a selfish thing sometimes but I wish I'd been thinking better to at least say something. Being able to SAY "No, I can't really do that right now" instead of avoiding and drinking things away is one of the things I'm relearning how to do now, and it's taking time.

    I'd like to try coming back if I may - I miss you guys and I miss the support. The thing I'm worst at seems to be positive reinforcement for myself and I know I can't keep my quit long term if I'm not staying committed. And it's hard to stay committed to something when you don't give yourself credit! I made sure to tell my mom when I hit 6 months AF and we went out to dinner but I had to really make myself do that. As if by saying that I was being shameful in referencing my problem, you know? I can't seem to get past the "I never should have had this problem to begin with, so I don't deserve anything special for stopping." I know that's only going to get in my way.

    I also worry that if I push it out of my mind too much, I'm going to trick myself into thinking it wasn't a big deal - which would also be a really really bad idea. Just because I made it this far doesn't mean I'm made of magic rainbow unicorns. Since things are going well at the moment it'd be really easy to get complacent and ruin everything I've worked for.

    And I know a few folks had said that the things I wrote had been helpful to them, so I'd like to be able to give back again as well. Just more carefully this time - and hopefully no more site changes!

    This is getting long (like I always do, xD ) so I better wrap it for now. I hope everyone is doing well, and much love and support to new and old friends alike. Quitting isn't easy, but it IS doable and also worth it. More than worth it; and if you're reading here you're in the right place to get soooooo much help and support. I'm going to dive in and see what I've been missing; and sorry again for taking off without warning.
    I am stubborn as a pig - but changing what I'm being stubborn about!

    Cigarette Free On: 9/23/2014
    AF on: 8/12/2014

    #2
    Hey Lav B!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I have wondered about you so many times, I am thrilled to hear that you are still AF! Head on over to the nest, there is ALWAYS an open twig there! We were having that conversation (last week I think) about how we 'let this happen' so be sure to read back a bit and visit that discussion.
    I am so happy to see you! :yay:Welcome back!!! B
    All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
    Tool Box
    Newbie's Nest

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      #3
      Hi lavb, i was one who thought you had started drinking as you wandered away so i was so happy to read your post. A huge congratulations on 6 months and i for one am very proud of you. Be proud of yourself Lavb you are doing what a lot of alcoholics cannot do and that is give up al long term. I wanted dancing girls and a street parade in recognition that i was doing this al thing but alas nothing occurred but it does become easier as time goes on. Never ever feel embarrassed about your addiction or yourself. Walk tall girl and stay strong. See you over at the NN. xx
      AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

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        #4
        Good to see you again!!
        I love my family more than alcohol.:h
        Live in the Solution....not the problem

        Comment


          #5
          Quitting and staying quit isn't easy, its learning a whole new way of thinking. It's accepting a new way of life, and not just accepting it, embracing it...
          Worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Just get through today. Tomorrow will look after itself when it becomes today, because today is all we have to think about.
          Friendship is not about how many friends you have or who you've known the longest. It's about who walked into your life, said "I'm here for you", and proved it.

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            #6
            Hi LavBlue,or was it Lav2 they were calling you haha,great on staying sober I hated the new changeover at first too,as a matter of fact, a few of us were just using Nursie's temporary site for awhile cuz it was easier, I like it here now that I'm used to it,glad you're back
            I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

            I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
            Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

            Comment


              #7
              That was fast - I'd forgotten how quick folks are to notice things here. I'm online between laundry and other things, but I'm reading back in the Nest. I'll definitely get back in over there, that was my favorite thread on the whole site. And thanks for the warm welcome back, and congrats! I don't think I need a parade (lol Ava, it's a fun idea though!) but just "not thinking about it" isn't a great long term sobriety plan either. I quit by remembering to focus on my gratitude, not by not-thinking-about-it.

              Just seeing you guys respond gave me such a smile and more motivation for the day, you're wonderful people. And glad to see so many names I remember still around

              And I think LavBlue was the easiest to read, but Lav2 and LavB are easier to type. :P
              Last edited by LavenderBlue; February 23, 2015, 06:14 PM.
              I am stubborn as a pig - but changing what I'm being stubborn about!

              Cigarette Free On: 9/23/2014
              AF on: 8/12/2014

              Comment


                #8
                Welcome back Lav Blue
                Glad to see you & happy you have stayed on plan!

                Lav
                AF since 03/26/09
                NF since 05/19/09
                Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                Comment


                  #9
                  Welcome back LavB - I remember you too. Big huge congratulations on your 6 months. Like you, I haven't posted much recently but I am on the site daily. I'm so grateful to everyone here for the friendship and support that keeps me grounded. It's been more than a year for me now and although I don't think about having a drink, I have a very healthy fear of relapse and the strength it takes to come back again. And that's due to all who are open to sharing on this site. The Nest has had some really great conversations lately with thought-provoking insights from newbies and old-timers alike. Glad to see you again.
                  Mary Lou

                  A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. Winston Churchill

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