Hi,
I just registered on this site today and wanted to say hello and tell you a little about myself. I am in my forties and have recently quit my job to be a stay-at-home mom - although my kids are no longer tiny babies. I thought quitting my stressful and unhappy job would curtail my drinking habit but it is creeping back up on me again. I am a liter and a half wine drinker who can no longer get a buzz from beer. I am sure that people I worked with knew that I drank but so many of them did too that I convinced myself it was normal. My parents always had lots of friends over when I was growing up and they all drank and seemed to be having the best time. I'm so painfully shy and full of self-doubt and drinking alcohol makes me feel like I can function in a social setting but really it just isolates me more because I'm always trying to sneak another drink - always topping off my drink so no one can count them. I feel isolated from all of my husband's and my old friends because I think they know about my problem and I'm embarrassed. My husband and I drank a lot while dating and then during our marriage but he has cut back tremendously. I keep thinking I'll mysteriously quit. I've suffered from depression my whole life and the alcohol makes me feel "happy" and "brave", but then the next day I feel more depressed. What I've never understood is that I drink when I've had a particularly successful day and not when I'm feeling down. More than anything I feel like I live in a cycle of self-sabotage and alcohol is one of my favorite weapons. I'm suffering from a bottle of wine and two strong bourbon and cokes (what I drink when I run out of wine) today. I want to abstain from alcohol altogether, but I never make it more than three days. I'm sorry this is so long but I needed to get it off my chest. I would appreciate any advice from anyone! Tell me what has worked for you. I feel so alone with this terrible "secret". Thanks.
I just registered on this site today and wanted to say hello and tell you a little about myself. I am in my forties and have recently quit my job to be a stay-at-home mom - although my kids are no longer tiny babies. I thought quitting my stressful and unhappy job would curtail my drinking habit but it is creeping back up on me again. I am a liter and a half wine drinker who can no longer get a buzz from beer. I am sure that people I worked with knew that I drank but so many of them did too that I convinced myself it was normal. My parents always had lots of friends over when I was growing up and they all drank and seemed to be having the best time. I'm so painfully shy and full of self-doubt and drinking alcohol makes me feel like I can function in a social setting but really it just isolates me more because I'm always trying to sneak another drink - always topping off my drink so no one can count them. I feel isolated from all of my husband's and my old friends because I think they know about my problem and I'm embarrassed. My husband and I drank a lot while dating and then during our marriage but he has cut back tremendously. I keep thinking I'll mysteriously quit. I've suffered from depression my whole life and the alcohol makes me feel "happy" and "brave", but then the next day I feel more depressed. What I've never understood is that I drink when I've had a particularly successful day and not when I'm feeling down. More than anything I feel like I live in a cycle of self-sabotage and alcohol is one of my favorite weapons. I'm suffering from a bottle of wine and two strong bourbon and cokes (what I drink when I run out of wine) today. I want to abstain from alcohol altogether, but I never make it more than three days. I'm sorry this is so long but I needed to get it off my chest. I would appreciate any advice from anyone! Tell me what has worked for you. I feel so alone with this terrible "secret". Thanks.
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