Things I Missed Out On While Drinking

[LavenderBlue]

I decided the other day that I should make a list of some of the things I'm doing now that I either couldn't or didn't do while I was drinking. If I start getting tempted, I want to be able to go back to this list and really see how much I'd be missing out on instead of taking it for granted. Future me - you weren't doing ANY of this while you were drinking, so I bet money you wouldn't keep them up if you started again! Posting in case it helps anyone else.

*Walking the dog - I was scattered about walking him when I was drinking; some nights long walks, some nights not at all. We're on a schedule now, daily walks, and it's much better for both of us. It also wasn't safe walking late at night after I'd been drinking, if anything were to happen I know I'll be able to react well.

* Chatting with my neighbors - I always slunk around the neighborhood before, partly because I didn't want anyone to smell liquor on me but also because my self esteem was trashed and I wasn't paying attention to how I looked in a bad way. Now if someone says hi, I don't panic and try to avoid them.

* Meditation - I just finally started doing meditation exercises for the first time in years. And I felt MUCH more relaxed and balanced afterwards than when I was drinking. Guess what? Meditating while you're drunk doesn't really get you the full benefits, who knew?

* Caring for myself - I'm doing a lot of things, big and small, that I just didn't bother with when I was focused on drinking. Using my nice bath stuff, keeping my skin looking good, paying more attention to what I eat. And they don't seem HARD now, just something I want to do because I'm starting to feel worth it again.

* Cooking - I haven't put effort into cooking in years, unless it was a special occasion. Now that I'm not just trying to cram things in my mouth to soak up liquor, I'm remembering how much I enjoy making actual meals.

* Time Management - I still struggle with this one sometimes, but it's world's better sober. "I should stop this project and move on to something else" comes much faster and I listen to myself better. Less nights watching Youtube until 3 in the morning, yay!

* Taking Risks - I mean good risks! I'm still hesitant, but I find I have more faith in myself to try new things. I joined an online podcast that people actually listen to, did a short video of myself to help out a friend who does an online show, started a public blog about my gaming and writing, and I'm thinking about submitting some things for a contest that a game I play is running. I still have times I worry I suck or I'm doing things wrong, but at least I'm *trying* things when they sound interesting now.

* Enjoying the Little Things - I'm kind of weird in that even as a kid I had issues with depression and anxiety, BUT I also felt very deeply in good ways. Burning some incense or walking outside would really recharge me. I haven't bothered with things like that in ages, but now that I'm sober I'm starting to really enjoy some of those simple pleasures in a way that I just couldn't while I was drinking.

* Losing Weight - This was a big one for me, I wouldn't have minded gaining weight if it was for medical reasons or if it was my choice; I honestly do think all body types are beautiful! But it bothered me that I wasn't looking like myself anymore and I knew that it was all because of the drinking and the depression surrounding it. It wasn't *me* if that makes sense. Without the drinking, my body is going back to where it wants to be and that makes me happy no matter what size I end up; just so long as it's *me*.

* Cleaning - Yep, my parts of the house were pretty much a mess while I was drinking. It's taking some time to get it all back where I want it since we also had a few remodels so my stuff got tossed all over the place. But I'm getting there, at least. And I feel better about myself when my spaces are in order.

* My Emotions are in Better Balance - Not completely balanced yet by any means, but the more time I spend sober the better I can manage them. I don't have as many times that one small thing will ruin my entire day - and when I do, it's easier to think, "Ok, I'm sure this will look better tomorrow." The things I can't manage on my own, like my anxiety, I'm starting to be proactive in getting medical/counseling help instead of just drinking to block it out.

* More Energy - It's taken a long time for me to start getting my energy levels back and I'm sure there's more to go yet, but I can sure tell the difference. Everyday things and errands don't sound nearly so daunting anymore!

I'm sure there's more and I might add to this list later. And if anyone wants to add a few things they're rediscovering sober by all means add them!

[paulywogg]

Excellent thread Lavblue!Ugh,the dog walking, one time I was hammered and took Winslow for a walk around the 'hood and these guys were partying in their garage, my drunk ass goes up to them and asks for a beer, I didn't even know these people, idiot!great list though, let's see, I've been taking daily walks,making sure the dishes are done,brushing my teeth, using face cream,not feeding the family fast food 3 times a week, keeping up on vitamins, keeping up with my fave shows,paying bills on time, showing up to work, paying cash instead of charging stuff, asking how kids/hubs day went and actually caring/remembering what they say, I'm sure I'll think of more later haha,it's just the little things you know?

[LavenderBlue]

Heya pauly - I always love your posts. And yeah, definitely, little things that you don't even notice how far you let them slip!

My last dog, I used to walk him at night all the time and I remember one time there was a big ol' toad on the sidewalk. I was pretty drunk at the time and decided I wanted to pick it up - which honestly, that part I'd probably do sober just to set it in the grass, but not with the dog on a leash. So I leaned down, he pulled on the leash because he had no idea wtf I was doing. I almost went down and would have twisted my ankle, but caught my balance barely. But I'd also had the dumb idea to walk in my sandals with chunky soles so I managed to pull something right down the center of my foot. It hurt for a few months and I was probably lucky not to have hurt myself worse. :/ I was at a job where I spent all day walking/on my feet at the time; that really sucked - and never would have happened if I'd just been sober and not doing stupid things.

[abcowboy]

The thing I miss the most is not being there for my children as they were growing up, it was more important to be in the bar with my drinking buddies!

[Eloise]

I got one: painting more often and getting better results!

[MossRose]

LavBlue - I'm late to this thread, but excellent post. I have many regrets...some big (my sons), others small (answering my phone), but you are spot on. It's good to remember the parts of life we miss when we are drinking. Too many.

[lizker]

Great thread. My list is very similar to urs. major one for me is driving. I got pulled over the other day and my heart did not jump out of my chest as I was straight.
I never had cake or sweets of any kind, now I savor them. Sometimes in moderation or jus indulge to celebrate my new found freedom.
I notice new found respect from friends who are actually wanting to stop drinking as they see the changes in me.

[paulywogg]

Missed out on good food or even eating, missed out being fully present for my daughter's graduation, being there for holidays in full mind, having to skip babysitting cuz I was off my rocker,a lot of Louies first year