Think i'm addicted...

[soak]

Hi everyone,

Newbie here.

To cut a long story short, i started drinking more heavily about a year ago. I used to only drink on weekends, socially, but then i started at home a few nights per week.

I live on my own so i think this adds to my drinking. I do it for company, it helps pass the time away!

So, i started off at under 1/2 bottle of wine a few nights per week. Then it got to the stage where i was craving it at work and couldn't wait to get home to have a drink. Then it was over half a bottle about 5 nights per week, with the promise not to drink again the night after, which became a broken promise most of the time. It has got to the stage that if i stay sober for 2 nights per week it is a miracle.

Just this week, i got paraletic (almost alcohol poisoning) on Sunday night, refrained on Monday night, couldn't resist Tuesday night - downed half a bottle, and last night downed the other half, plus 2/3 of a new bottle, plus one can of mixed spirits.

I don't feel that hung over today, but am really moody and a bit agro, feel like i am hallucinating a bit, and feel a bit shaky. In fact, i can hardly type. I have made the decision that i need to give up. I may even go to AA tonight. Never been before, but the nights are the worst. Nothing like sitting at home, inside with a bottle of red or white in front of me...

I guess i'm not really looking for any advice, as i am sure everyone here is supportive, but more somebody to talk to, to distract myself, so i am less likely to drink.

This stuff is dangerous and i still have 1/3 bottle left in cupboard. I don't know whether i can trust myself not to drink it tonight...

:new: :cupajoe:

[louise]

Think i'm addicted...

Welcome to MWO Soak. Yes, it does help to come here during that normal drinking time and seek support and info instead. I don't know if you have gotten the book, cd's and vitamins and supplements yet, but they are really helpful. This is a great place with lots of support, advice if you ask and a lot of humor and acceptance. Have a good time exploring the posts!

[Popeye]

Think i'm addicted...

Hi soak.
Welcome.
This is a great place to come if your wanting to change your drinking habits.
Lots of help and support and even if you just want to talk, I'm sure you'll make friends.
Isn't that right Louise?

[soak]

Think i'm addicted...

Thanks Louise, i shall. I should also get rid of my username, it is really bad! It was how i felt when i registered though :specs:. It is a reminder of how pathetic my life has become *forced smile*...

Some thoughts on drinking:

Why do we do it (in the first place)?

Is setting goals enough to deter you from drinking?

I feel like i have had my soul removed... is this common?

[soak]

Think i'm addicted...

He, thanks

[Popeye]

Think i'm addicted...

I feel like i have had my soul removed... is this common?

I don't know if it's common, but that's how I felt too.
It's coming back though.
I'd forgotten who I was....

[soak]

Think i'm addicted...

It's really weird. In some ways i think we drink to remove ourselves from ourselves, but then it actually happens.

[louise]

Think i'm addicted...

No worries soak, it is early, just change your name and say in the post what you have done. See you"re more hopeful already! Yes, Popeye, that's right, lots of friends waiting to be discovered. I thought you were off to work, work, work! I need to get off to bed! Soak, why - different for each person and endless, and not necessary to figure out to start to change. Goals, maybe for some. I needed the other parts of the program. I don't know about my soul but I was not very happy with myself.

[Change]

Think i'm addicted...

Oh hi everyone, i have changed my username to "Change". Don't ask me why, it just seemed a little more positive than my last one! Lol. (See, i can still manage a "lol" even though i have a drinking problem).

[cassy]

Think i'm addicted...

Hi change...get reading the posts and get a plan for todat and do something else in your "danger zone"..i found planning my evenings really helps so in my "bewitching time" i dont drink.

I have now started to talk myself into the believe that "i dont drink on weekdays"i believe after donkeys years of drinking it will take a long time to re process my thoughts about what the hell i get from alcohol... I do know this is the second week i,ve been to work daily and had no booze the night before!!!!a small goal maybe but for me its monumental!!

Get some books ie alan carrs quit alcohol book and several others recommended reads by others...the more i read the more i realise what a BIG CON the illusion about alcohol is.....its a posin that destroys us mentally and physically.

That said i would still after all that like to have 2 drinks when out for dinner or a bar b que...

FOR JUNE NO WEEKDAY BOOZING FOR ME...

Good luck change...everyone on this site has made a chane by joining up and starting on the "change journey"......enjoy the changes you are starting on.

Regards Cassy

[bluesky]

Think i'm addicted...

Change, :welcome:, Come and join us on the "June Newbies in Need Day...." Board, we check in every day in order to keep us sailing along smoothly, we are all "Newbies" so it should help just to get you started. We are under the "General Discussion" Forum. Look forward to seeing you there.

Bluesky :l

[tea]

Think i'm addicted...

Hi Change, welcome. You will find all you need here at MWO, I certainly have. How abour reading through some old posts, there is some great stuff there and will keep you occupied for hours and hours !!! It's a hard old road but you will get where you want to be, keep coming.

L

[Change]

Think i'm addicted...

Thanks Cassy, Bluesky and Tea.

Congratulations Cassy, that is great. Well done (i really mean that, because i know how hard it is to go 2 weeks) .

And Bluesky, i will definately come and join the June Newbies in Need Day... no doubt, you will find many ramblings by me in days and weeks to come!

And Tea, yes, good idea about reading old posts etc. I had already planned to do that in my spare time tonight so i don't turn.

I don't think tonight will be the problem, i think it will be the days to come... I reckon getting past days 3+ are the hardest. But, anyway, i will try. I am still cleaning up the mess from last night.

Also, took some small steps today. Went for a 15 min walk (may not seem a big deal to anyone here, but it was to me. I felt terrible), and started cleaning slowly but surely.

Did anybody else 'let things go' when they were drinking?

*Sigh*.

Anyway, back to the grindstone.

Thanks everybody for being so welcoming... I really didn't expect it.

Cheers

[jane rees]

Think i'm addicted...

Hi Soak
Good luck with changing your user name...I've never figured out how to do that without completely re-registering and then nobody would know me. Do you know how to change it "Change" can you tell me and soak please???!!
Plain Jane :upset:

[Change]

Think i'm addicted...

Hi Jane,

I was actually 'soak', but am now 'Change'! Sounds confusing doesn't it?

I had to completely re-register, but it's early days yet, i've only been here for one day, so i figured that if i change my username early, it won't make any impact.

I bet you're not plain.