Hello

[fairydust]

Hi there, I have been drinking wine heavily for the past 20+ years and decided today is the day I NEED to quit once and for all, last night i drank 2 bottles of wine and passed out on the sofa then woke up at 3am, staggered up to bed, knocked over the lamp on my hubbys side of the bed and the dressing table mirror at my side, hubby didn't speak to me this morning and I felt so ashamed and ridiculous, I am almost 46 years old and this is how I behave???? I am so sick and tired of myself, fed up of promising today will be the day only to hit the drink come 7pm, I am so determined to change before I lose everything, I fear for my health, my sanity, my marriage....

I hope to find help and advice on here, also considering trying AA again - went a couple of years ago then quit after a relapse (about 3 weeks) I have had two dry periods in my life, two pregnancies 15 years apart, I never touched a drop throughout either and I didn't struggle with it at all so I know it IS possible!!!!

[Byrdlady]

Hey FairyDust and welcome to MWO. Boy, does your post sound familiar. There are the end of my drinking, I starting making notes in my bathroom of things we talked about, or people who called. I kept the note pad in my drawer. The next day I'd try to act as if I remembered all these things. I thought I was being SMART in taking notes, but looking back it was just sad. I saw the look of disgust on my hubs' face many a time. The night of Jan 19, 2011, he had enough of my drinking and left. I knew I had to find a way to quit and STAY quit. This place helped me do it and I have been 4.5 years sober and today, my marriage is stronger than ever. This is a wonderful, supportive place and you will find the tools to help you achieve your goals. There are 2 links in my signature line, the Tool Box, as the name implies, is full of tips and coping skills and general information. The Newbie's Nest is a flourishing thread with folks in ALL stages of quitting. We can help! Welcome aboard!! Byrdie

[Pie]

Welcome, Fairydust! Your story sounds very familiar to me too. Having a plan will support your decision to get out of alcohol jail. The Toolbox mentioned above is full of ideas. How did you find us, I'm wondering. The My Way Out site, I mean.

Best,
Pie

[fairydust]

Thanks both of you, I found MWO just by googling alcohol problems forum, I need to make a plan, just trying to get through today first then will tackle it, I have been feeling ropey all day and not very proud of myself to say the least, my husband seems to have forgiven me once again and I feel lucky in that respect, heard some bad news that a friend of mines husband has been re-admitted to hospital with a recurrence of his cancer so also feeling very sad Going to visit my daughter tomorrow which will involve a motorway journey of an hour so I will be glad I haven't had a drink tonight!

[fairydust]

Hey FairyDust and welcome to MWO. Boy, does your post sound familiar. There are the end of my drinking, I starting making notes in my bathroom of things we talked about, or people who called. I kept the note pad in my drawer. The next day I'd try to act as if I remembered all these things. I thought I was being SMART in taking notes, but looking back it was just sad. I saw the look of disgust on my hubs' face many a time. The night of Jan 19, 2011, he had enough of my drinking and left. I knew I had to find a way to quit and STAY quit. This place helped me do it and I have been 4.5 years sober and today, my marriage is stronger than ever. This is a wonderful, supportive place and you will find the tools to help you achieve your goals. There are 2 links in my signature line, the Tool Box, as the name implies, is full of tips and coping skills and general information. The Newbie's Nest is a flourishing thread with folks in ALL stages of quitting. We can help! Welcome aboard!! Byrdie

Byrdie, thank you I will have a look at all the information

[frances]

Welcome to you fairydust! You are making a great decision. And this is a great site - Byrdie pointed you in the best two places to start off. The newbies nest has a number of people, new and old, who will share in their experiences and struggles, and tools and tips. I like how Pie put it....getting out of alcohol jail....so true. Alcohol has a way of becoming obsessive and controlling and you will need to starve it and replace your habits with something else. Get ready and let yourself eat what you want, and have alternate drinks on hand to drink when those cravings come! All the best to you!

[fairydust]

Well, I survived day one!! Day two, onward and upward, I feel really positive and certain that it won't be too much of a struggle today, I have a busy day ahead, just walked the dog and setting off to visit DD in a minute then need to take the cat to the vets when i get back, DH is taking DS to the cinema tonight to see Minions, they do a 'guys night' once in a while so I will have the house to myself for a couple of hours, that would usually be licence to drink as much wine as possible but tonight I plan to measure up the treehouse (hubby is in the process of building it) windows and make some little curtains out of some camouflage fabric I have so that will hopefully keep me out of mischief!! I have been listening to a hypnosis app I downloaded for free, its by Andrew Johnson and I found it quite helpful at first and it put me to sleep but now I find I stay awake, I am wondering whether I should try a different one instead? I have started taking Vit D, c and L glutamine again too as well as to eat more healthily.