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[DiverRob]

Hi Everyone,

I've been avoiding this place over the last week or so cause I really feel like I've failed. I was doing really well with my 30 AF thing, got to 11 days and started to convince myself that I had things under control and that I should just start moderating. I decided that I would limit myself to drinking only on weekends ...

Why do I put myself in these situations sometimes?
Why do I listen to that little voice in the back of my head?

Monday came and I just HAD to have another day of drinking and so the slippery slope took me. Now here it is, Friday, and I've been drinking all week.

So I'm really sorry - feel like I haven't just failed myself, but you all as well.

It's back to square one again today - Day 1 AF, here we come.

DiverRob

[SKendall]

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Hey Diver,

Glad you're back. You are just back with a bunch of people who have all been in your situation. Sorry it didn't work out. Mods isn't for everyone, but glad your're back. Everyday a.f. is a good one.

[Popeye]

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11 days is a great start. Maybe you've learned something about yourself.
We all mess up from time to time.

[DiverRob]

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Thanks you guys ... it really feels good to be back with people who can relate/understand where I'm at. I guess I need to take this a day at a time and not think I'm suddenly healed from this control over my life.

[panadol]

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Hi Diverob
I know how you feel. I did pretty much the same thing. That little voice is an insidious thing! Still any progress is good. If you can pick yourself up and try again that'll be a great thing too. You are well supported by many who have been there too Hang in there. We can all inspire each other.

[SKendall]

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Diver tomorrow is a new day. As I've said many times before if you fall 10 times, pick yourself up 11 times, etc. Take care my friend.

[Guest]

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Hey guy! Good to see you back. 11 days is really great, it really is. You should look at it like that. You know you can do it now.

I go through the same thing over and over, and it's hard emotionally.

Atleast you have your gear and you can get wet. When I go home I am going as much as I can with my father. He does not drink, so it will be either gatorade or tea for us after the dive.

[bluesky]

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Diverrob, we missed you, and are waiting for you to come and say hello at the June newbies Thread, come on, just a quick pop over!:h :h

[cassy]

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Hi Diver it took me 35 or more years to get to this stage so it is sure going to take some time..maybe a year or so to reframe in my head about alcohol..
for me its getting rid of the idea that alcohol adds anything positive to my life(well in large doses!!)

you havent failed //11 days is fab...so set a goal for today and get right on to it.

i am in moderation mentality AT PRESENT..and the for the last 2 weeks havent drank on weekdays(including Friday nights!!!)trying to stop being a house drinker.

got a bar b que tomorrow and meal out next monday so thats my 2 nights to try moderate drinking!!

i went to a abirthday party/supper last night and had a small glass of Bucks fizz thrust in my hand....drank a small glass and then recalled i dont drink weekdays and AMAZINGLY i didnt get on the wine with everybody else!!..i was driving though so dont get too impressd!!

Good Luck and dont beat yourself up..i have deviated from my goals several times BUT the bigger picture is so many people have made dratci cuts in their boozing habits since joining this site..myself included and of course so have you!!

Regards Cassy

[stollies1]

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Hi there Diver and all,
It's great you've come back to try again Diver and even better now that you know what mischief that demon drinking voice can convince you to do....
11 days is great and I'm sure you'll do great this time around to.
There is another really good resource to help you get some strategies in place to stay on the sober path.Its worthwhile paying it a visit.
Good luck to you and to all
Victoria xxooxx

Rational Recovery from alcoholism, drug addiction, addiction treatment, recovery group disorder, non AA, non 12-step, cocaine, herion, sex addiction

[DiverRob]

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Thanks so, so much for being understanding and encouraging - you all are great!

Thanks for understanding about that little voice Stollie1 and Panadol - hope I can shut him up soon!

Sounds like you're really doing good on moderating Cassey - hope I can have that much self control someday.

Thanks for the invite Bluesky - jump over there now and posted. Will try and post more.

Thanks GG - it is hard when you fall - I'm a bit of a perfectionist, so if I have one drink that little voice says "Well, you've blown it now - may as well have some more!" Enjoy the diving with your Dad - and the gatorade!

Skendall - You have no idea how good it is to be with people who understand and who've been there - thanks for that!

Congrat Popeye on 60 Days - you're an inspiration! I'm learning a lot about myself.

[evergreen]

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DiverRob - the more I hang out on this web site the more I realize how many people have so much in common. After only a few days AF that voice speaks to me . . . you really are not that bad. Other people can drink a glass of wine. . . .you never miss work or an obligation . . you need it to relax . . . don't overreact . . . ! I am trying to talk back to the voice (not so successfully yet.) Congrats at any rate on 11 days. Time to reset!

[Kitty]

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Hi Diverob,

Yep got that T-Shirt!!! But really 11 days is marvellous, think my best was 6 af in a row. Just keep trying, you know you can do it now.

It's very easy to become complacent it's the nature of the problem we all share.

Be heartened by your previous success, the slips are part of the journey, they remind you how easy we can be sucked back in.


Take care,

Kitty

[louise]

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Welcome back - wondered where you were. Well, it was an experiment. Now you have analyzed the data.

[Rocky]

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Diver...no failure till you give Up....It's a journey, you try things and see how you handle it.. learn and regroup. You can do it ...there is much support here.