In keeping with tradition here is my one year sober story.
Where I was at a year ago, what I did during the past year, and where I'm at now?.
A year ago I was a beatin, battered Man. I was repulsed with everything about me. For the husband and father I'd become, for the sad legacy I was preparing for my loved ones. My Morals once high, had stooped to an all new low. At 43 years old I had been drinking for 20+ years, heavily drinking the last 10 years. It was about 10 years ago I began to think I had a problem. My Father was Alcoholic,with 30 years sobriety when he died. My mother &sister have many years of sobriety. I grew up in the rooms of AA. So naturally I went to AA, because that's what you did, Hell it saved my parents life! In my family it was AA or keep drinking, that was it, end of story..(AA has saved many lives, I believe there is more than one way to skin a cat)
So over the last 10 years I fell in and out racking up 30 days a few times 60 a time or two 6 months twice 8 months and even 10months.. All of those times I would convince myself and the ones around me "this time would be different"
(From the Big book of AA) - Alcohol- cunning, baffling and powerful, no truer words ever spoken
I was at an all time low, my wife had withstood years of my druken tirades, lies, conniving, broken promises. She had been preparing herself for a life without me, no threats, verbal ultimatums this time. She was saving herself and our children from my destruction. My children are my life I cherished my family, yet I came so close to loosing it all, even knowing I was about to lose it all. After all of this the thought of never drinking again was still to hard to bare...Unfuckingbelievable how anything can have that much power..
I started reading every self help book I could find. They helped, one inpaticular really put Alcohol in a different light, The book hammered home what a poison Alcohol really is, with absolutely zero value of any kind, and no matter what I could not drink it, No matter what...The theory here is one had to change there complete mindset about Alcohol. This really got my wheels turning and by the absolute Grace of God a google search led me to MWO.
After reading through the site for a few days, I jumped in head first. I began to follow people in here that I could relate to. I logged I in and read and read and posted 10+ × a day, I reached out to several via private message. I built trust and soon began emailing with several. I now had people that could hold me accountable, and they no shit did hold me accountable. I am forever grateful. After a few months I began to get comfortable in my old/new sobriety, I started letting a day or two go by without logging in. Guess what people noticed, and called me out on a few occasions, I was so graciously thrown a life line.
Yes a lifeline, because for me, I believe for me to drink again would ultimately be my fate. I don't have another day one on me.
My mantra There is a 100% chance I can't do this by myself! And I didn't. ..By the grace of God and the men and women in these rooms, I have been born again Hard! I have made life long friends from as far away as Australlia <3.
Where am I after one year?
I am happier than I remember beng since an adolescent.
My relationships with my Wife and 3 boys has blossomed in ways I could never have imagined. The grass is greener, the trees are more beautiful, And optimism has replaced the once pessimist....For so many years I could not imagine a life without Alcohol, now I cringe at the thought of a life with Al in it. .
Do I have thoughts of drink? Yes occasionally. Then I play it out in my mind for the next week, and the results are the same. Insanity
Do I still have days of remorse and guilt? Absolutely
I can't dwell on them, but I know my darkest days have become my greatest asset! A very wise woman I met in here ( not mentioning any names but her nickname resembles something with wings and feathers with a Y) recently gave me advice as she so often has. I had shared with her some struggles I was having. She said "Regret of the past and fear of the future are the twin thieves of today!" So true.
If you're struggling, lock in here, follow the successful ones in front of you and don't give Alcohol another second of your life, we don't get that time back. I'm damn sure going to make the best of what time I have left and be able to remember it!
For everyone that has been apart of this Thank you. .
STAY HARD My friends!
Where I was at a year ago, what I did during the past year, and where I'm at now?.
A year ago I was a beatin, battered Man. I was repulsed with everything about me. For the husband and father I'd become, for the sad legacy I was preparing for my loved ones. My Morals once high, had stooped to an all new low. At 43 years old I had been drinking for 20+ years, heavily drinking the last 10 years. It was about 10 years ago I began to think I had a problem. My Father was Alcoholic,with 30 years sobriety when he died. My mother &sister have many years of sobriety. I grew up in the rooms of AA. So naturally I went to AA, because that's what you did, Hell it saved my parents life! In my family it was AA or keep drinking, that was it, end of story..(AA has saved many lives, I believe there is more than one way to skin a cat)
So over the last 10 years I fell in and out racking up 30 days a few times 60 a time or two 6 months twice 8 months and even 10months.. All of those times I would convince myself and the ones around me "this time would be different"
(From the Big book of AA) - Alcohol- cunning, baffling and powerful, no truer words ever spoken
I was at an all time low, my wife had withstood years of my druken tirades, lies, conniving, broken promises. She had been preparing herself for a life without me, no threats, verbal ultimatums this time. She was saving herself and our children from my destruction. My children are my life I cherished my family, yet I came so close to loosing it all, even knowing I was about to lose it all. After all of this the thought of never drinking again was still to hard to bare...Unfuckingbelievable how anything can have that much power..
I started reading every self help book I could find. They helped, one inpaticular really put Alcohol in a different light, The book hammered home what a poison Alcohol really is, with absolutely zero value of any kind, and no matter what I could not drink it, No matter what...The theory here is one had to change there complete mindset about Alcohol. This really got my wheels turning and by the absolute Grace of God a google search led me to MWO.
After reading through the site for a few days, I jumped in head first. I began to follow people in here that I could relate to. I logged I in and read and read and posted 10+ × a day, I reached out to several via private message. I built trust and soon began emailing with several. I now had people that could hold me accountable, and they no shit did hold me accountable. I am forever grateful. After a few months I began to get comfortable in my old/new sobriety, I started letting a day or two go by without logging in. Guess what people noticed, and called me out on a few occasions, I was so graciously thrown a life line.
Yes a lifeline, because for me, I believe for me to drink again would ultimately be my fate. I don't have another day one on me.
My mantra There is a 100% chance I can't do this by myself! And I didn't. ..By the grace of God and the men and women in these rooms, I have been born again Hard! I have made life long friends from as far away as Australlia <3.
Where am I after one year?
I am happier than I remember beng since an adolescent.
My relationships with my Wife and 3 boys has blossomed in ways I could never have imagined. The grass is greener, the trees are more beautiful, And optimism has replaced the once pessimist....For so many years I could not imagine a life without Alcohol, now I cringe at the thought of a life with Al in it. .
Do I have thoughts of drink? Yes occasionally. Then I play it out in my mind for the next week, and the results are the same. Insanity
Do I still have days of remorse and guilt? Absolutely
I can't dwell on them, but I know my darkest days have become my greatest asset! A very wise woman I met in here ( not mentioning any names but her nickname resembles something with wings and feathers with a Y) recently gave me advice as she so often has. I had shared with her some struggles I was having. She said "Regret of the past and fear of the future are the twin thieves of today!" So true.
If you're struggling, lock in here, follow the successful ones in front of you and don't give Alcohol another second of your life, we don't get that time back. I'm damn sure going to make the best of what time I have left and be able to remember it!
For everyone that has been apart of this Thank you. .
STAY HARD My friends!
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