Newbies ignored

[angellina]

Newbies ignored

Unless you have something exciting, stunning, unusual, funny, extremely sad or weird to say it can feel lonely on this site. Just my experience.

Anyway, I'm off to lurk again, best place for me I think, cos I can gain experience off everyone knowing I don't have to respond in any of those ways when it's not in my nature to. :thanks:

[southernbelle47]

Newbies ignored

OK....I'm an "Oldie"...
I think understand everything said here.
Let me just add that starting off here is a "learning' experience.
I felt very intimidated by chat and some threads.
It is very easy to not understand exactly what someone "means" by what they say.
It takes months to get the "feel" of people and their sense of humor.
It is good to use the emotions to the right of the screen to try to help others understand.
RJ has done a wonderful job of adding things to help us.

Just try to remember that if someone responds to something you "say" in a negitive way....MAYBE you need to give them the benefit of the doubt and ask for clarification on the point.
Hopefully you will find that kindness =kindness. Or Maybe even perceived "meaness"=kindness.

This happened to me personally in "What we believe" recently and I simply said that they were entitled to their opinion....Which I truely believe. This person then said they were sorry and they didn't fully understand why I had posted something.
Short story long .......I feel that I made a new friend instead of an enemy..

Just a few of my thoughts.
:welcome: and :h all newbies.... and oldies..Please stick around long enough to get to know us and let us be enriched by knowing you!
We are like a "family" here....we all have some "warts"

Nancy ....Southern"Belle"

[betty boop]

Newbies ignored

The thing that I love the most about this place is the friendships that I have got with people from all over the world ..........

Sometimes trivial conversations happen in postings because we are all in different time zones and therefore cant do them in chat .........

Sometimes the banter is good just to pass the time when we want to drink .......

I personally think that this site has space for everything and everyone ......

Love and hugs to you all, BB xx

PS RR....

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[Beaches]

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Thanks. It's a good reminder. Good thing to remember that when us "oldies" post to make sure we aren't being vague or cryptic because we do want the new people to feel welcome and join right in.

So welcome Newbies and join in!

[irishlady]

Newbies ignored

This site is a bit like a workplace.. When you start a new job and you don't know anyone and you are trying to figure out all the relationships between people it can be a bit confusing.. You go to the staff canteen for your coffee break or lunch break and you sit by yourself because you feel to shy to sit at the table with six or seven of the " oldies ", but, after a few weeks as you gradually begin to feel at home and get to know people you find that you are understanding the " in " jokes, some people you will relate to more than others, then a bit further down the road you will have certain colleagues who will become friends and you will be able to confide in them, others you will be able to joke with and exchange a bit of banter..

This place is just like that, so all I can say is give it time, visit daily and post if you can, but most importantly, JOIN IN...


Love, Louise xxx

[rottrod]

Newbies ignored

BB
I agree with you about there being a place for everyone. We all just have to find it. And, you make a great point about the time zones.
You are a beloved contributor here and know this place so well, certainly much better than those of us who are new.

I think I'll do better to lurk with Angellina for awhile.

[diamond]

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Don't lurk too long rottrod I'll miss you

[rottrod]

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Thanks diamond . . . .see I just can't keep my nose out of everybody's business!!!!!!!

[betty boop]

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Rotrod, Don't lurk, we need you here ......

[Padme]

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newbie here with a reflection: This is an inherent problem that comes with the territory of being on the internet and message boards. I've noticed that kindness is shown freely here within the confines and limits of this type of communication. I'm still getting to know people here, so far most are pretty cool. hey everyone has there foibles.

I've been an 'oldie' on another board for support of alcoholism and trust me, the cliques there made me ill. I was attracted to this board because there seemed to be no blatant judging going on and a general acceptance. Of course I noticed my first post got about 4 replies where as other newbies got from 9- 11---then again i didn't sound desperate, even though I was but it is not my nature to attention seek with catchy "headlines' or pour out my deepest personal fears. So the four I received were just what I needed and that was good enough. Some personalities naturally fit with the internet. I know mine isn't one of them but I do not allow that to define me as a person. (sometimes I think it would surprise people if they knew me in the real world ) The strength to commit and carry on is my own personal journey. It's nice to be acknowledged but if I'm not in the cyberspace world, I need to be able to believe in myself and have a support system in the 'real' world.

That being said, recovering alcoholics are by nature very sensitive especially during early sobriety, so when you are new and looking for answers and help it is easy to feel left out. Also we are used to the instant gratification of alcohol and may have not learned the art of patience yet. My advice to newbies: To thine own self be true. Post where you see fit, ask for help if you need to and be patient. Others will come to appreciate who you are and get to know you. Reach out and PM someone who catches your attention and you feel a bond with. There is no hurry. Use this board as a tool among many other you are using to stay sober and follow whatever path you have chosen. All love given returns.


Love & Light

[diamond]

Newbies ignored

Padme,

Thankyou, thankyou. You are so insightful, that is exactly right. I am also sensitive and understand others needs in this way.

Everyone should read this - it is true.
thanks, again.

[betty boop]

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Padme, that was a lovely response ......

If anyone wants to pm me for support, I would be happy to help .......

BB xx

[rottrod]

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Thanks very much BB

Padme what a timely and appropriate response. Thank you.

This place give me hope, therefore I cannot stay away.

[lushy]

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You know I gotta say when people say there are cliques here it really hits me the wrong way. There are no cliques here. Some of us joined at a similar time and have therefore gotten to "know" each other simply from that fact. I think we all try very hard to include new people. We all were new at some point. If you want to feel part of the group you need to just jump right in. I remember when I first posted a year ago, under a different name, I did not get one single response to my very personal story and I was very embarrassed. But I realized it was a fluke and tried again and have been here ever since. We welcome any and all. I agree with Padme's post. So please if you are new, do not be intimidated. What may seem like a clique is simply a matter of some of us having been here a little longer and have gotten to know each others personalities a bit more.

[lucky 2.0]

Newbies ignored

For the newbies:

lushy and I were separated @ birth. And she got all the cooking skills.