Newbies ignored

[Janice]

Newbies ignored

I've been visiting the newbies in need thread through May and June. Most days its started off with a warm welcome from the first person who opens the daily thread - to the regulars and any newbies visiting. I would be really upset to think the thread came across as "cliquey" as I know how I felt before I first posted. Janice

[Guest]

Newbies ignored

Getting to know you...............

Think it`s true that alcohol, and indeed, trying to escape that particular demon can make us ultra-sensitive. Am relatively new, and can honestly say that initially I felt rather `left out`, as some people do seem to have a great rapport with certain others.

That said, once I really sat down and thought the situation through, I realised that it`s exactly as Irish said, and that joining M.W.O. is much similar to starting a new job, where it may take us a little time to `gel` with our co-workers.

Once I ditched my (probably alcohol-induced) insecurities, I came to realise that the `oldies` go all-out to welcome the `newbies`, to such an extent that I now feel completely at home with you all, and feel that I have a valid place in this community.

To anyone just joining, I would say, that feeling as if you `belong` here may take a little time, but stick around, as I did, because the people here truly care about each other`s struggles and joys. I`m glad I stuck around long enough to feel comfortable and happy here.

I`m finally on my way, due to support from some wonderful people here, and I hope to be able to help others in the same way.

Starlight Impress

[redrobin]

Newbies ignored

Good One Betty!!

Yay Betty. Perfect!!!! (Now all I've got to do is work out how to lift her off and use her) My project for tomorrow I think.

[nancy]

Newbies ignored

well maybe newcomers are not familiar with the newbies in need thread-- thedaily thread.

I really like that thread, it helped me keep on track last month...

I tend to respond to titles that remind me of issues I face myself, or people who might be in similar circumstances.

Also, there is a tendency to focus on the top two threads.

I like descriptive titles so i know what a thread is about.

anyway, the people are so nice here and you get to know people quickly enough.

And those who said that we can be sensitive are right. Do you remember the thread: Why am I a thread-killer? that was HILARIOUS.

[buffy]

Newbies ignored

Beautifuly said Starlight!

[louise]

Newbies ignored

All God's Children Got a Place in the Choir

Some sing low and some sing higher,
Some sing up on the telephone wire.

Don't remember the rest of it. I started actively using this site just a little over 3 weeks ago. As of this post, there are 3237 members. Some have been active for well over a year so of course they know each other better. Sometimes our posts don't get responded to because of timing. Either the boards are very quiet or very busy and as people respond to threads already subscribed to the post gets pushed off the page. Please folks, don't take it personally. Nor do people have to be witty, very sad or terribly insightful. Here is what has worked for me: I see the site mainly as a tool to help me. I read everything by RJ, program updates, use all the MWO materials and supplements. I go to the long term abstainers and monthly abstainers and moderators threads for inspiration and insight. I signed onto a thread for 30 days of abs where most people had already been involved for over a month. I was warmly welcomed. I had trouble keeping up with what was going on because they already knew each other so I joined a thread for newbies and it has been easier to follow what is happening. It is open to all and is welcoming. However, if you just post 1 time and never come back to tell anybody what is happening it is hard for anyone to support you. I check in periodically on the other thread to say hi. Since I have started at least 40-50 new people have joined. If you are overwhelmed in getting to know people on an existing ongoing thread, you might try starting a new one, like,"join me for 10 days AF" or some other such thing. There have been a couple of people I have connected with in a more personal way because of something we shared in common. These have all come about because of sharing something personal about myself not directly related to drinking. Please stay and share - there is room for us all in the dance.

[dac222]

Newbies ignored

Newbie with question...

I'm new also. I responded to a post a few days ago, and never knew just where to go for responses. I went back to the "thread" (I think it is called) and never read a response. I began to think that I just did not know how the site worked!!:h

At any rate, my Dr. would not prescribe topamax, but he did prescribe Campral, and today's the first day of it for me. I've been taking the supplements and listening to the tapes - but today is the first day totally AF.

[nancy]

Newbies ignored

threads

Hi DAC
:welcome:

You can post your own thread, just hit NEW THREAD if you have a brand new topic. and then check back on that

Otherwise, you go back to the thread you posted on and you can see if other people who posted after to you have responded to your response. but I don't really know if everyone reads the threads all the way through. it is possible to just post a reply without reading all the preceding messages. so you might post some heart-rending cry for help and you might see the next post has no reference to your message.

I try to read preceding posts, unless it is a huge thread and I am pressed for time. the other issue is that if you are reading a thread directed at someone who posted, the message should relate to the original post somehow. i am not saying this to be dogmatic, it's just that it is sometimes hard to respond to something that would take the conversation onto a completely different track...

also, try searching threads first to see if the topic you are interested in is already covered in an old thread. it took me a while to catch on to that one!

also, you might check out the threads every day called Newbies in Need. That has turned out to be a fun thread and a good way to get to know a few new people.

[louise]

Newbies ignored

Dac - please join us on the June newbies in need thread. All are welcome. most of use are new within the last two months and there are several who only have a couple of days AF. We will cheer you on and try to answer questions the best we can.

[dac222]

Newbies ignored

Thanks

Thanks for the info. It will help!

[Newyear]

Newbies ignored

Hi dac222- :welcome:
This place has sure grown since I joined nearly a year ago. I can see how this has gotten a little big to manage when you are first navagating around. Please stick around and read read read. Post when you feel like it. Sometime folks just check in at the same area each day and just say "hi"

Glad to have you!
Lisa

[gabby]

Newbies ignored

I dont know if this is right or not. But I wonder what sort of expectations newbys could have too. Like someone said this community is huge. I think we all try really a lot to welcome everyone and make everyone feel comfortable. But if someone doesnt feel comfortable it might not necessarly be our fault. I'm sorry if that is mean. I think that maybe like lushy said....please try again.

[louise]

Newbies ignored

Sometimes the response is indirect

Dac, I went back and read all your posts to see if I could figure out what was going on that it seemed people were not responding because this may be happening to a lot of people. Since I'm sure you want to help out other newcomers who might read this thread, I hope you don't mind if I use you as an example. All your posts were in threads started by other people. You had something to say related to the post topic and usually a short question. In most cases you did get at least one response, although in one your name was not used so you may have missed it. In one about Campral the answer was directed to everyone questioning whether to use it and the answer was "recommend to everyone". This probably does not seem like very many responses but I think it is because people were responding primarily to the person who started the thread and that topic. Like Nancy said, sometimes people just read the thread starter like "Question about campral" and answer without reading everything everyone has said due to time constraints. They are not looking for new members needing to be welcomed on that thread. So, One way to be welcomed is to join a thread with a specific goal, like monthly abstainers, Newbies in Need or some other thread with a goal of ongoing support, say you are new and ask to join. The other is to start a new thread that says something about being new in the title and post it under my story or newcomers (more people seem to read this) and several people will come along and welcome you. Hope this helps you and others. Oh, another thing that happens that makes it look like the next person totally ignored you is two or three people composing responses at the same time and them not seeing your post until after they have posted.

[MDBiker]

Newbies ignored

If I see a new person posting in the middle of a thread; something like "I saw the Dr. today" in the middle of the "I hate my job" thread, I PM them and try to explain how it works. I have done it several times and they are appreciative and seem to get the hang of it. It is the same way with the chat room. They have a real hard time getting on board with so much going on. I had one PM me one time while we were in the chat room and ask me if everyone was drunk. Really!!

Now, as far as cliques go, the just starting out thread has its own thing going. I don't think it is a bad thing, I think it is great that they have developed their own sphere of confidence. If I go there, I post and no one cares, and most don't know who I am anyway. They have a lot of questions and I think it is good to get involved with them

[louise]

Newbies ignored

MD we love you - I care!