Newbies ignored

[julie001]

Newbies ignored

Hi all,

I think that as a newbie you want to get 20+ replies almost immediately. It's part of the low self-esteem thing that accompanies alcohol abuse. Anything positive or supportive would feel so good right at that moment. I vividly remember my first post. Three people responded. I logged on again a few times...afraid to disclose too much and not sure of what I was doing exactly. Then I bailed for for 8+ months. Not because I didn't get what I needed. I wasn't ready to commit then. When I came back with a serious attitude about committing, I started to post a little bit. I won't ever be "the popular one" (doesn't that bring back teenage years), but I started to feel connected to the supportive community here. Logging on, reading posts, occasionally posting--makes me feel pro-active. I'm trying to better my circumstances. I try to acknowledge everyone that says it is their first post because I do not want them to be discouraged from coming back. But I guarantee even if you feel like you are not getting the response you want, if you keep coming back, you will realize the benefit of this program. Good luck to everyone.

Julie

[Suzanna]

Newbies ignored

I vividly remember my first post. Three people responded. I logged on again a few times...afraid to disclose too much and not sure of what I was doing exactly. Then I bailed for for 8+ months. Not because I didn't get what I needed. I wasn't ready to commit then.o
Julie
Julie, I can really relate to this, I mean totally relate. I lurked, then started posting a little, started a thread or two, then bailed for awhile, returning to unhealthy drinking. The low self-esteem issue is real and I am just amazed to see it in print because that describes me perfectly. I was afraid I would not fit in, not be welcomed, not be responded to, I have a hard time finding my posts to see if anybody did respond, sad isn't it?? People did respond to me and I try to pay it forward to newbies when I can. I am ready to check in more and find other ways to stay away from overdrinking. :h Suz

[tawnyfrog]

Newbies ignored

I often read of newbies not being able to find their posts again - therefore not knowing if anyone responded.

Sorry if I'm stating the obvious but if you click on your own name, you're given an option to find "all posts by" or "all threads by". It took me ages to work that one out when I first started !!!:H:H:H

It all gets much easier after a while.

[bootcampbarbie]

Newbies ignored

do you think this place has grown? i don't know as i'm a newbie. lol but i'd say i started about beginning or mid may and i pretty much see the same folks on the boards. or maybe it just seems like the same oh 100 or so i am thinking. hummm of course coming out of years of a drunken stupor does make my brain a bit foggy. i think as a newbie, speaking for her bootsie barbie self, you all are a welcoming party. warm and fuzzy. i'm actually happy to just read you and listen to you and sometimes share a bit too. but it helps to hear you as i have alot of feelings coming up and being included helps alot. i know for me when i felt left out it is because i didn't say how i was feeling and didn't ask you all for what i needed. for now i'm grateful and i need some tomato juice.

[Suzanna]

Newbies ignored

posts

Thanks Tawneyfrog, I figured it out! Hope you are well. Suz :h

[Beaches]

Newbies ignored

We try our best to welcome everyone and I know from my own experience that at certain times in my life I am able to be here more than other times. I want everyone to feel welcome. I don't recall how many people welcomed me at first and that didn't matter to me. What mattered to me was that I was desperate to get better and I was going to keep posting whether people liked me or not. So here I am.
I will continue to welcome all the new people that I can because I think that you all add such a wonderful aspect to this site. Please don't base the amount of posts you get on whether or not you need to stay. You are here so you know you need to stay.

Don't be afraid of Pm'ing members either, it's a great way to get to know people.

[nancy]

Newbies ignored

oh boy!

when i started this post I had no idea that it would generate this many responses!

I started it because i saw a few posts asking, seemingly desperately: How do I get into this clik??? (sic)

then i saw some tragic posts at the end of a number of threads, including some of my own, from a guy named soloman who wanted to know why no one was responding.

And i also noticed the threads I was drawn to. the day i posted this there were some alluring titles like: Don't get in my face.

i am so impressed with the depth and quality of responses, taking this beyond what i envisaged. everyone seems to care so much about how newcomers feel. that is so evident.

one thing i noticed was that a lot of people feel insecure the first time and you can't take it personally if there is not an immediate response.
and it takes a while to get the feel for the website and where to post etc.

then again there are some successful newbie attention seekers and i still like interesting titles.

personally, when I started, I just responded to threads that interested me with specific responses, and gradually got to know people. I think if you just want to chat, best places are moderation daily thread, abstinence daily thread and now the newbies daily thread in just starting out.

and if you are still wondering, as i was for a while. AF stands for alcohol free... I think...

again, i am really impressed with the responses on this thread...

[ScoobyDoo]

Newbies ignored

Good on you for starting this thread Nancy. You're a gem! Hopefully some current newbies have read it and it's been useful.

I know everyone is different but I tend to think along the same line as Beaches.

As with any forum, it's not a clique, it just takes time for each new member to feel comfortable and understand the ever evolving group dynamics.

I think that the subject matter of this forum; self help/recovery adds to the complication for some newbies, and moreso if they're not familiar with navigating multi layered forums.

I also imagine some people searching out help for alcohol addiction stumble across MWO and join up - and if they're forum savvy will stick with it or perhaps they'll discover an alternative source of help and abandon the site before getting involved.

Scoobs