I'm new and could use some friends

[All done drinking]

My husband is awesome and is being very supportive and helpful too. I think it would be so much harder if he wasnt'

Good morning Synergy,

I hope you had a successful AF (alcohol free) Friday night. That is so great your hubby is supportive. Mine is too. He hardly drinks at all. Maybe has had 4 drinks since I quit 79 days ago. So, it helps so much that he isn't drinking a big glass of wine when out to dinner when I know I should not and will not have one as one leads to wanting two which leads to...

I kept waiting for cues in the beginning from hubby. Just that little statement of "We're on vacation...maybe you can just have one." But he never said it as he knew better. He knew one would lead me right back to the dark place I was in and my last year of drinking was being on an elevator going down. I just kept getting worse, drinking more nights than my desired 2, drinking more drinks than my desired amount (2). It got so over the top that I was sneaking drinks so I could drink more than my allotted 2 nights of Fri/Sat. I was drinking more than 2 drinks at a sitting where I actually would finish a bottle of wine and be drinking MORE! My last night of drinking involved PROMISING him that I would not drink more than 2 glasses as I had made a fool of myself 2 nights previously drinking too much. So, friends came over with wine and gin. I NEVER drank hard liquor. Only wine and beer on occasion. I proceeded to sip a glass of wine from the bottle and had a glass of water in between for my final 2nd glass. Before I knew it, I was on my 3rd glass, then 4th, then the bottle was EMPTY. All of a sudden I somehow had gin and tonic in a coffee cup that I was drinking. And more than one! I woke up the next morning fully dressed on the couch where I had passed out. Full blown blackout, the whole nine yards. I called my friend who has been in recovery for years and confessed that I was an alcoholic and had to quit drinking. It was a very hard moment to finally really be honest with myself as I had been deluding myself for a very long time with thinking I could control it. Now, I am at the stage where Fridays and Saturdays are just days of the week like the rest. I am just excited to get to the point where craving and missing drinking gets to that point for me too. I just keep focused on one day at a time, and when struggling, sometimes one minute at a time. Hang in here with us!

Addy

[sunbird2]

Hi Synergy,
I'm new again too.
But I used to be here, and it is a very good place to be.
Just keep posting and take it one day at a time.

[synergy]

I did have a great AF evening out with hubby. I've been taking all the recommended supplements from the MWO book. I also received and have listened to the hypno CD's for 3 days now and find them to be really helpful. Something I don't find people talking about much on the forum is following the program designed by Roberta Jewell. I'm surprised by that. I think it is helping me in terms of not having cravings. If it helps others, why aren't people saying so? Like in weight loss programs I've been in, others encourage you to follow the program for greatest success. My first post here, I was having terrible AL cravings. I think the biggest difference since then; now that I'm not having those cravings is due to the supplements, drinking lots of water, moderate exercise, and the hypno CD's, all from the MWO book. I love the encouragement I'm receiving from everyone too! Thanks for making me feel so welcome!

[synergy]

So I have been combing through a lot of the threads and don't really find that much on the "how" to do this. When you have a craving, besides waiting for it to pass what do you do? What works for you? That sort of thing? Can someone please help me out with that? It's Sunday and we have a big game coming up which generally means beer! I'm not so much "craving" it right now but I'm pretty sure I'll be really "wanting" one come kickoff and with our first touchdown! I'm only 4 days in, help anyone?

[NoSugar]

Hi, Synergy

In the short run, you might want to pick up a special AF beverage for the game tonight. Drink A LOT and get so full, there would be no room for beer even if you wanted it! I personally like grapefruit LaCroix but many people make fancier beverages.

If you haven't read this already, it is full of practical advice as well as ideas to help you change your thinking about alcohol: https://www.mywayout.org/community/sh...24253-Tool-box

Have fun tonight and enjoy waking up feeling refreshed and proud because you conquered one of your first challenges.

All the best, NS

[synergy]

Hi Sunbird! I'm glad to see another new person. :hug:

[synergy]

Thanks NoSugar, right now I'm thinking grapefruit juice (or any other beverage) isn't going to satisfy me. I'm struggling with this at the moment.

[Pie]

So I have been combing through a lot of the threads and don't really find that much on the "how" to do this. When you have a craving, besides waiting for it to pass what do you do? What works for you? That sort of thing? Can someone please help me out with that? It's Sunday and we have a big game coming up which generally means beer! I'm not so much "craving" it right now but I'm pretty sure I'll be really "wanting" one come kickoff and with our first touchdown! I'm only 4 days in, help anyone?

Hi Synergy, At four days in, I'd have to skip the game for today and go do something that wouldn't make my mind explode with desire for alcohol. Go to the mall, or a movie, or get your nails done. Anything that is not so closely associated with drinking as you describe the game to be. You can't wish the alcohol problem away. You have to take action.

Best,
Pie

[Byrdlady]

In my humble opinion, the Tool Box contains every thing you would ever need to know about how to get and maintain sobriety. You can search How to make a PLAN, but there are several Plan blueprints in the Tool Box.

Im with Pie, avoid those things that tempt you in the early days. Short of that, EAT, eat until you can eat no more and that will be your best line of defense.

Keep us posted! Byrdie

[Pavati]

Hi, and Welcome, Synergy.

I like that name!

I know what you're saying about a LaCroix not doing the trick, but it was a tactic I used, too. I always want a drink in my hand, and since I knew it couldn't be beer I just made it be something else. Now I actually crave my favorite n/a drink instead of beer. It took a while, for sure. I also ate whatever I could and listened to The Bubble Hour podcast while taking a lot of walks and hikes.

Hope you're ok.
Pav

[NoraC]

In my humble opinion, the Tool Box contains every thing you would ever need to know about how to get and maintain sobriety. You can search How to make a PLAN, but there are several Plan blueprints in the Tool Box.

Im with Pie, avoid those things that tempt you in the early days. Short of that, EAT, eat until you can eat no more and that will be your best line of defense.

Keep us posted! Byrdie

Yes - I started to post that about eating earlier but thought it was just me. When a craving hits eat. Immediately eat. And drink a big glass of water. When you're out with people, just make sure that you always have a drink right there with you. I'm really into ice tea right now. So, I either have that or lemonade.

[KENSHO]

Hi Synergy!

I think many people came here after reading the book - after all, the lure is that we can keep drinking moderately. I know when I first posted, it was in hopes I could achieve her success at moderation through medication, supplements and hypnosis. However, I not only learned over trials and time that medication was not for me, but that I couldn't moderate. I'm glad it has worked for RJ and others. Many people here have come to the conclusion that it is easier and healthier for them to just stop drinking altogether. I have said before that I think we all need to have different pieces of the puzzle fall into place for us to come to terms with how we deal with our alcohol use. Some decide they are just done with the fight - while others try many stragagies to achieve moderation.

From what I have read, there seems to be a tipping point with alcohol use that, once passed, makes successful moderation extremely difficult. It took me a year and a half to sort through this information and evaluate my responses to different approaches, before I came to the conclusion that if I have any alcohol, I inevitably return to too much drinking every night. I got tired of obsessing about it and counting drinks - so NONE is the best option for me. At first, it was confusing to me too that RJ's book wasn't mentioned much here, so I assumed that I wasn't "as bad" as everyone else posting who had stopped drinking completely. Unfortunately, I think many people ultimately come to the conclusion that "once addicted, always addicted". I AM one of these people (and that's not a BAD thing!) We are good people, with relatively successful families and careers and are as normal as "normal" could be - we are just addicted to an addictive substance.

The more you read about others' stories, and peruse the medication & toolbox (and other) threads, AND the longer you DON'T DRINK, the more clarity you will have to to make these decisions for yourself. The perspective shift you will have after being alcohol free for 30 days will amaze you.

I wish you well on getting started, and do keep reading and posting! The pieces will eventually start to fall into place and you will be able to decide what makes sense for you. Best!

[Dutch1988]

I think part of the problem with the "how" around here is its different for everybody, there are some common elements though

Avoid alcohol triggering events

Some form of mindfulness to help you watch your thoughts to identify triggers

Have a plan for triggers once you identify them

Don't get too hungry, tired, angry, or lonely in the early stages with a plan

Identify a drink to replace AL with and take it everywhere

I still don't like going to drinking events, and it's been 7 months. Wit my family it's okay, I am used to throwing a few "fuck you's" around if they piss me off, but man synergy a get together this early is epic in my opinion. My will power when I was shooting for just 30 days just couldn't take it the first time. Right before this quit I had 14 days, Two tough situations happened and I gave up like I wasn't even trying to not drink. Anything that is going to sap your will power is hard because when life happens you want to have as much energy available to say not tonight as possible.

Good luck though!