Cosmic two by four

[Datima]

Hi, I am new here. I want to quit drinking. I may be losing my job because of alcohol, depression, apathy. I am sitting in bed when I should be at work. I called in sick. I want today to be a new beginning. I want to clean this filthy pig sty, and do alcoholism research, and meditate, and read my spiritual books, and set some goals, and discover my passion.......all today......and when the night comes and I haven't done 90% of the above I will sink into a bottle of wine and beat myself up to within an inch of my life.....crawl back to bed and start the same cycle tomorrow. The difference today is that I found and am writing in a forum (a first for me). I think I will call for some free counseling sessions through work. Maybe...... I am scared and lonely and still not sure if I can get out of this funk. I liked reading your posts.

[j-vo]

Hi Datima,
Don't try to do allllll of that stuff today. Just don't drink. Just do that one thing. And yes, you have found a great forum that is supportive, encouraging, and empathetic with some tough love. Check out the Newbies Nest (in Just Starting Out) and introduce yourself there. You'll be amazed at the responses and support you'll find there. Also, check out the toolbox as there is something for everyone at any stage of sobriety. Welcome.

[starty]

Oh Datina, you could have been me!! I was exactly the same. Yes, just do the one thing today and that is do not drink. The rest will follow

[NoSugar]

Datima,
On the day I joined and posted here, I took the proverbial leap of faith and cold turkey stopped drinking. Frankly, I had no idea what I was doing but realized I couldn't keep doing what I had been day after day after day for way too long.
I felt like after all my repeated failures on my own, I had to do something different. I guarantee you that posting on an online forum was Very Different for the isolated, sneaky person I had become.
Somehow I convinced myself that this was my "last chance". I now think that was a little over the top but at the time, it helped because I so wanted to change the life that was much like the one you described. I felt like if this didn't work, nothing would, so I did whatever I had to to make it work - ask questions, post like a demon, reveal my embarrassing self, cry, eat, sleep, sleep, sleep, but NOT DRINK.
All your goals are great but if I were you, I'd do what J-vo and Starty said, just don't drink. That will be enough for now. You're worth it. All the best and please let us know how we can help you, NS

[abcowboy]

Hi Datima, echoing what the others said, don’t take on too much too soon, your drinking didn’t happen overnight and your recovery most likely won’t either. Just worry about today, and hopefully you got through the day okay! Don’t worry about tomorrow, or next week, or next month, you just need to get through the hours between waking up and going to bed!

There is a lot of advice offered all throughout the forums, read, read, read…..find out what you think might work for you, then read, post, and read some more… If you take it one day at a time, the task won’t seem monumental…

[idefineme]

(((Datima))) welcome here! Like others have said, please don't try to accomplish all of that in a day, because you surely will be setting yourself up for failure with an "excuse" to drink. You're human, right? So are the rest of us, and NONE of us could possibly do all that in a day! Give yourself time and be gentle and forgiving with yourself. If you haven't already, please call for the free counselling! I know you can get out of this funk :hug: Call for the sessions first thing in the morning, and keep visiting and posting here! If anybody can relate with how you're feeling, we can!

[Datima]

Thank you everyone, I am still trying learn this forum thing. First day back at work and feeling better, optimistic. However, we went out to lunch today. We don't drink at lunch but I opened the menu and there was a picture of a margherita staring at me. I kind of froze up inside and thought, can I do this? It freaked me out so I am writing here. I have enough food in the house to stay out of stores for the next few days. I really don't know how i am going to get through a shopping spree without buying wine. I guess I could ask a friend to go with me.

[lizker]

Welcome to MWO...I was in the exact same place several months ago. I know well, too well the vicious cycle of waking up in the morning, with a massive hangover, reaching for a beer to steady my nerves, making promises to never ever drinking again, going to work in sheer agony...just waiting for the day to end so I can do it over. Sometimes carrying a bottle in my purse to work so I won't be stuck in traffic without my deer friend...everything, I mean everything I did, I had to take my "friend" with me, cooking, shopping, doing laundry, ball game...I had it really bad....the fact that I can even go a day without, is truly a miracle...jus make up your mind that alcohol WILL no longer hold you in this mental prison of torment. If I can do it...I...ANYONE can do this. Stay close to MWO...if you believe in God, lean on him for help and strength. If you do not, still do whatever it takes to not allow alcohol in your life.

[j-vo]

I think you said you have nondrinking friends? Did you tell them what you're trying to do? Maybe they could help you and be there for you. Like you said, take them with you when you shop. That could be a very valuable tool for you. Have you gotten a chance to look in the toolbox?