The shame

[Gilf]

I need help. I can't live with the shame. I'm so over making a show of myself.

[kuya]

It's horrible isn't it?

Time to stop and you have come to the right place to find a way to be happy sober.

Welcome to MWO. Jump into the newbies nest in starting out and settle in and learn the ropes

[Gilf]

It's horrible isn't it?

Time to stop and you have come to the right place to find a way to be happy sober.

Welcome to MWO. Jump into the newbies nest in starting out and settle in and learn the ropes

Thanks! I've been here before 🙃 Had it all "under control" ((yeah rite!)) suffering bad withdrawal at the mo! Intensifies everything! It's 7.23 am! Just rang in sick to work

[available]

Hi Gilf and welcome. Most of us have been here before, i know i have been here for years and finally "got it". Like you i was over myself and hitting the repeat button daily but not knowing if i could get off the ferris wheel. Thanks to the support on here and knowing it was only "me" that could stop the madness, i am happily sober.

The withdrawals suck, the not being able to drink sucks but at the end of the day living the way we did with al sucks more.

I hope you stick around. As TT says head to the newbies nest, always someone to support you.

[Gilf]

Thanks! Just sick of the same shit over & over ���� I'm so disappointed in myself I can hardly breath! Hopefully I get it this time ��

[available]

Yep same shit different day. I found that being accountable on here was essential. no one understands your problems like a fellow drinker. Eat what you want in the first few weeks, sleep when you are tired and be gentle on yourself. I was just exhausted so when i came home from work i napped as i knew i would get overtired and stay awake. I accepted that my body needed to detox, i had done this to myself and had to accept the consequences. dont put yourself in situations that will make you crave a drink. I hibernated for 3+ months, i had to protect my quit at all costs.

[Gilf]

Rite now I'm just so physically sick I can't even sleep! I just pray that I actually get it this time. It's so exhausting hating urself all the time. Maybe feeling less isolated will help.

[kuya]

Rite now I'm just so physically sick I can't even sleep! I just pray that I actually get it this time. It's so exhausting hating urself all the time. Maybe feeling less isolated will help.

Of course feeling less isolated will help! You are a normal human being who got addicted to a drug that addicts millions of people.

Welcome to the club of normal....everyone here got sucked in too.

There is NOTHING wrong with you, you are NOT broken .
You simply got addicted to a drug that is highly addictive because you thought drugs would make you feel better.

One way or another you will hopefully learn over time that you don't need to drink or drug to feel ok about yourself

[satz123]

Hi Gilf - I see you are from Ireland too.
Come on over to the Army - Christmas is coming thread too. More of us in same timeline over there- we'll 'mind ya'

[IamMary]

Hey Gilf.. as Satz says, pop over to the army, few more Dubs there::happy2:
Im not long at this, but believe everyone when they say, it does get easier.:hug:

[Gilf]

Well I'm starting on day 2! I was so violently ill all day yesterday that my plans to go back to work today didn't exactly come off to plan! �� But I'd rather give myself a minute to actually try to get a proper handle on this & give myself a chance. I'm still lying in bed, it's 8.59 am & ive a raging headache but that's a combination of the crying & the no sleep so hopefully by this time tomorrow I'll be up and about the place again.
Spent most of the day yesterday on here & just knowing others are out there who feel the same dread & shame as u is very helpful. Not to mention how it might actually be possible for those feelings to fade & more positive ones come to the forefront �� Looking forward to that!!

[kuya]

Well I'm starting on day 2! I was so violently ill all day yesterday that my plans to go back to work today didn't exactly come off to plan! �� But I'd rather give myself a minute to actually try to get a proper handle on this & give myself a chance. I'm still lying in bed, it's 8.59 am & ive a raging headache but that's a combination of the crying & the no sleep so hopefully by this time tomorrow I'll be up and about the place again.
Spent most of the day yesterday on here & just knowing others are out there who feel the same dread & shame as u is very helpful. Not to mention how it might actually be possible for those feelings to fade & more positive ones come to the forefront �� Looking forward to that!!

Not sure what shame and dread you have right now but I can assure you that there is NO shame or dread any more.

You are simply a human being who got addicted to alcohol (which is a VERY addictive substance)
You are NOT
Evil
Possessed
Weak
Dysfunctional
In need of twelve steps
In need of psychotherapy
In need of a god/non god or atheist guidance.

All you need right now is a few weeks sobriety to decide who the fuck you are.

Keep coming and posting here to make that decision

[satz123]

Hi again Gilf
That is the way I approached this 3 years ago. I posted and read every day.
I was able to identify with some of the posters and realized if they could live happy contented lives without alcohol - maybe I could too.
Took from January - July for the penny to finally drop and I felt strong enough to stop completely.
I have gone from daily drinking to AF for 2 and half years.
I've seen so many in that time succeed.
YOU too can do it .......

[available]

I hope you feel better tomorrow. I had a raging headache for 5 weeks but i figured i did this to myself so i just had to ride out the storm. That and my sleep were the worst of it. It sure is possible to feel normal and happy again but like all things it takes time and effort to achieve the desired effect. Keep reading on here. i watched you tube documentaries on alcoholism and movies based on alcohol. Its a hard learning curve when you realise your life is as much of a mess as the people you are watching.

[abcowboy]

Gilf, I don't know of one person who got it right the first time, not one! I'm sure they're out there, but I don't know any of them. What I learned is that beating yourself up over starting again doesn't help either. It's okay to feel the GSR of having picked up again, but use that feeling to re-inforce your quit, not wallow in self-pity.

There are many ways to quit, not one way works for everyone. That's what's so great about MWO! No one cares how you are doing it, just that you are doing it. But it's also important to share what works for you, it just might be the way that will work for someone else.

Believe me, I tried just about every way except for meds or hypnotism, read just about every self-help book I could find. In the end, it was my counsellor and God who showed me that I could do it. Try whatever you have to, be patient, time takes time, one day at a time...