January 19, 2016 is the day

[jerseygirl76]

Hello to this Starting Out group.

I have been here years ago - somehow this problem over time does not get better. Though it has for many of you so I think it does if it becomes life's primary focus. I have limited my life down to almost no fun at all. Work, chores, a few friends outings, and drinking. Alone. Typical female closet drinker (one can only do that I imagine if living alone). I know many are upset as spouses want them to stop. But if you had no spouse in the house you'd likely get worse. So, I have to be my best other self for me.

My question for the experienced is; should I give this titering down thing a go? Then take a month off to see if I really have to quit?
Here's what I'm thinking; I'll go from say 28 glasses of wine a week, to 20, to 10. Then 5 then quit for a month. Does that ever work for anyone?

Now, I am going to do this so you will hear from me in a month or so if successful.
Comments welcome!
Heavy drinking started during stressful years about 11 years back; mid 40's. So, no problems up to then! Use to have 1 or 2 beers/or wine a month. Maybe.

[TJAF]

Hello Jersey Girl. There is Mod group on MWO that might do you some good. I can tell you first hand that I've tried every which way to moderate but it never worked for me. I'd always, and I do mean always, fall back to the same level of drinking. I hear you about not having someone to push you but in the end I found my will to quit to be a very personal decision. BTW I hid a bottle a night habit from my wife and kids for years. You don't have to be alone to drink alone.

[NoraC]

Now, I am going to do this so you will hear from me in a month or so if successful.
Comments welcome!
Heavy drinking started during stressful years about 11 years back; mid 40's. So, no problems up to then! Use to have 1 or 2 beers/or wine a month. Maybe.

Hi jerseygirl -

In my opinion, it would be better for you to check in here everyday instead of coming back in a month or so if successful. It really helps to read and post and get to know people.

[idefineme]

I agree with Nora, jerseygirl. Pop in here every day just for a few minutes even, do a little reading, respond to a post if something strikes you. In a month you won't have to re-introduce yourself and we won't have to try to remember you. I'm pretty new here as well, and have no SO like you so I totally know what you're talking about. It's always nice to be able to relate with people in similar situations. Welcome aboard, by the way!

[NoraC]

Hello Jersey Girl. There is Mod group on MWO that might do you some good. I can tell you first hand that I've tried every which way to moderate but it never worked for me. I'd always, and I do mean always, fall back to the same level of drinking. I hear you about not having someone to push you but in the end I found my will to quit to be a very personal decision. BTW I hid a bottle a night habit from my wife and kids for years. You don't have to be alone to drink alone.

I could have written this. Thank you TJAF for putting into words what I wanted to say.

[actiongirl46]

Hi Jersey Girl - Welcome! I am relatively new myself. Come on over to the Newbie's Nest. There's lots of good conversation and ideas going on. I find it helpful as I'm trying to figure things out.

I've had some success since mid-December. At least I am going in the right direction. What clicked for me was to read and post on here at least twice a day (am and pm). I also got ALL of the alcohol out of the house. If you can, start with that. If you can't right away, at least keep reading here daily and you will learn what works for you.

Good luck! Hope to see you around - AG

[jerseygirl76]

Thanks all,

Good night actiongirl, Nora, Idefine and TJAF. All advice and suggestions much appreciated. I'll 'get on board' and stick this time. Not sure I'll fess all but will chat and read and say if/when I'm doing better as I gather knowledge. If any one sees this and knows, where is the store that used to be here, to buy book and cd's etc? Thanks again! Oh, and that is very interesting TJAF that you were able to hide your naughty habits so.....

And while I'm here let me say my next topic. What is with the sleep problems and drinking? That's enough to make me want to quit, my sleep is ruined!!! Night I hope :egad:

[jerseygirl76]

Okay new pals with wisdom here, not so good so far .... let's see. 19th I signed on, had one glass of wine (cause too much the night before), then last night, not good at all. So today none. Now that doesn't seem to be a good start of this month of 'getting to a safe dose'. Does anyone know where I can get the hypnosis tapes that were on the store from this site as well as other things years back but now I do not see them? Thank you! Jerseygirl.... lease:

[TJAF]

Jersey Girl. I'm bumping this back up because I want to see you succeed. I'm curious, you started off this thread saying you wanted to moderate and obviously that's a struggle for you, but I don't know if that really is what you want. Have you considered just trying 30 days AF? Get that behind you and the sky's the limit. As for the hypnosis tapes I'm sorry but I can't help you out. Maybe some of the other folks can help here. Keep trying...it is so worth it.

[NoraC]

JerseyGirl - None of the links for the stores seem to work. Have you tried googling hypnosis for alcoholism. You might be able to find something that way. I think you can get the book on Amazon.

Hope somebody will stop by that has more information for you.

[actiongirl46]

Hi Jersey Girl - I am sorry I don't know where to get the tapes either . . . I saw you in the Nest, that's awesome! Sounds like you are not where you want to be yet . . . don't give up!! Did you write out a plan? How about this for a start . . . don't keep any "stashed" or stored wine around. Don't make it easy on yourself. Just an idea that worked so far for me.

I'm glad you're here . . . one day at a time!

[jerseygirl76]

Hello Nora and TJAF. Thank you for the inspiring comments TJ as I think deep inside I know what you are saying. So...I need to hear and hear that it IS indeed worth it to cross that line and be done with the wino girl living inside me. I'm not quite there yet but I'm not going to become a regular. So any inspriring words are appreciated!

And I did happen to find a link to the store tapes here below but like you said Nora it dosn't 'work'. However there is a donate/join link and I'm thinking maybe they save it for members or donaters so I am going to try that tomorrow and see if it then lets me order them. I'll let you know. I did look on the internet and there are many hypnosis tapes for quitting the drink but I didn't see things. I had these years back and really liked them and found them useful - and for more things then just alcohol. More tomorrow, night!

And I will head to Newbies Nest too Actiongirl46. Thank you!

[jerseygirl76]

Okay new pals with wisdom here, not so good so far .... let's see. 19th I signed on, had one glass of wine (cause too much the night before), then last night, not good at all. So today none. Now that doesn't seem to be a good start of this month of 'getting to a safe dose'. Does anyone know where I can get the hypnosis tapes that were on the store from this site as well as other things years back but now I do not see them? Thank you! Jerseygirl.... lease:

[jerseygirl76]

TJAF, thank you, I bet you're no dumby. Heard this before. Not ready for the 30 day thing but I KNOW I need to do that. So. Birthday is March 2. I have 6 weeks to limit self, and if not 30 day will start on March 3. I don't know if anyone knows how hard that would be for me. I imagine many here do!!! Thanks for inspiring words that is what I need to hear that it is worth the pain and effort and after I do 'fix this' (limit or quit) I will be the old me again.

Actiongirl, thanks I'll go to newbie nest too.

Nora, I have found tapes but like you said the link doesn't work. I am going to try a donation tomorrow and see then if that allows me to order (IS there still a Roberta Jewell in charge here?). I have looked online and lots of hypsosis tapes but didn't see these. I had these and they were great. So I'm going to try.

[jerseygirl76]

TJAF, thank you, I bet you're no dumby. Heard this before. Not ready for the 30 day thing but I KNOW I need to do that. So. Birthday is March 2. I have 6 weeks to limit self, and if not 30 day will start on March 3. I don't know if anyone knows how hard that would be for me. I imagine many here do!!! Thanks for inspiring words that is what I need to hear that it is worth the pain and effort and after I do 'fix this' (limit or quit) I will be the old me again.

Actiongirl, thanks I'll go to newbie nest too.

Nora, I have found tapes but like you said the link doesn't work. I am going to try a donation tomorrow and see then if that allows me to order (IS there still a Roberta Jewell in charge here?). I have looked online and lots of hypsosis tapes but didn't see these. I had these and they were great. So I'm going to try.