Just starting out?

[actiongirl46]

Reci - I am your story as well. I've been hanging around here for over a year and just can't seem to get it together.

I hope you are well . . .

[Eloise]

Hey actiongirl hope you are okay too?!

[actiongirl46]

Thanks Eloise! I am ok, still in there swinging!

[Recidivist]

Hi All!
Yep going pretty well here.
Still not 100% alcohol free, but I have cut back to one or two nights per week and already notice the difference.
A major factor for me is keeping busy in constructive ways. Boredom is the death knell.
I hope you are all very well.

[Eloise]

Just checking this thread Recidivist, wondering how things are going for you?

[Recidivist]

Hi Eloise and All,
It's very kind indeed of you to check in.
I am ambling along for now.
My delusions about moderating with alcohol were just that it turns out. There can be no moderating for me. I'm just not made that way.
I had a strange thought last night: I think I have to find another way to be defiant.
A very odd thing indeed for a 50 year old woman to be saying, but I'm realising that alcohol is the only thing I have in my life that's just for me. I work full time and have a lot of other responsibilities besides. The only way I can 'check out' and be a bit selfish seems to be drinking.
Just musing on this and trying to work out how to proceed. I do wish I had more time to spend here interacting and reading, but I don't at the moment.
I wonder if I made a list of alternate activities to drinking whether that might be a good start?
Anyway, I hope you all are going well.

[SnoopyC]

Recidivist, I recommend a book, 30 days to Sobriety, it is positive and has thirty days of tools, introspection, and is helpful. It is something you can go back to, over and over again as this journey is challenging. I think the more tools we have the better chance we have. When you have some sobriety you will find more time to spend on positive things for yourself. Wishing you the best.

[JackieClaire]

Hi Eloise and All,
It's very kind indeed of you to check in.
I am ambling along for now.
My delusions about moderating with alcohol were just that it turns out. There can be no moderating for me. I'm just not made that way.
I had a strange thought last night: I think I have to find another way to be defiant.

Hello there and welcome, was having a read around and saw your post.........that word defiant rang some bells for me. I can remember standing half drunk with a glass in my hand trying to stand up straight saying to my husband..............'Don't you judge me. I'm doing what I want'.

You've made a wise decision to go AF..........and believe you me you'll enjoy it.

Just musing on this and trying to work out how to proceed. I do wish I had more time to spend here interacting and reading, but I don't at the moment.
I wonder if I made a list of alternate activities to drinking whether that might be a good start?
Anyway, I hope you all are going well.

Excellent idea.

Knitting and cross stitch were my go to thing .I've always loved it. But counted cross stitch through half drunk bleary eyes isn't a good combination ..........so that went by the wayside for many years. The new adult colouring in books will while away a few hours.


Try and get into the habit of checking in first thing in the morning last thing at night............let us get to know you. Instead of pouring a drink log in here amazing how much time goes back reading what's going on today and have a look through the archives..............they're fascinating.

Good to have you here.

[Recidivist]

Thank you all so much. I'm a bit overwhelmed by your kindness.
I'm running off to the salt mine now, but will definitely check in tonight to respond and do some serious reading around.
My principal realisation is that I can't do this without help!

[treetops]

Hi there and great that you have checked in. Don't worry being AF as that does not mean boredom or that you stop being defiant. I find with sobriety I have learned to allow myself regular time out whether it be a hot bath or watching something on Netflix or similar. I work very hard but I used to push through the tiredness factor and drink to cope with the work demands. I still have a demanding job but I also have my guilt free me time. I allow myself to be anti social if I want to be as well. It's hard at first and you are likely to feel anxious about boredom but structure little things into your down time - they don't have to be biggies. Do you exercise for pleasure. Not because you have to? I like walking and I like exploring new areas or revisiting old ones with fresh eyes.
Best of luck and keep us posted.

[Guitarista]

There can be no moderating for me. I'm just not made that way.
I had a strange thought last night: I think I have to find another way to be defiant.

Hi Recidivist,

Living sober is being defiant! Well, this is how i look at it. I am one of the most hardcore, defiant, rebellious, life guzzling mofo's around. How? Why? Because i'm living sober and allowing my full potential and real self to SHINE baby shine.

Living sober is the new orange. err, or something like that. Great you are taking the first steps to taking back your precious life fully. Keep it going, you can do it.

Hope your week is an easy one. G

[Recidivist]

Evening everyone.
Thank you Snoopy. I needed a bit of a reading list to get on with. I already have a veritable library of recovery books on the reader, but not that one.
Jackie Clair I am a reader (see above) and have actually attempted it after countless wines with one eye shut. There were so many signs.
Treetops I'm starting to think that in many ways I am a cock-eyed perfectionist. I have never built enough down time in being an all or nothing type. I suppose everything needs to be re-thought?
Guitarista, now there's a VERY interesting concept. That being sober is defiant. I would never have thought about it that way, but there is a lot of pressure to drink at social events. That would be one of the reasons I'm struggling with this decision. What a great way to re-frame it.

In the spirit of all of the above I've decided to put aside the other jobs I have tonight and do some reading here instead. Priorities, really.