11Days AF but really struggling.

[setanta]

Pheww these last 2 days have been the worst. I ve been tempted so many times but am still hanging in there.

Its strange how you only remember the good times with those first few drinks and all the craziness and destruction which follows is forgotten..I'm doing all the maybe's in my mind like maybe no more than 4 drinks at a time or maybe just once a week etc but I know in my heart that never works so I'll keep going with abstinence.

The mornings are great but come early afternoon all I want to do is drink. I'm even dreaming about alcohol.
I'll keep plodding along but it's hard, I suppose this is what's called white knuckling it and I know exactly what that means..

[Eloise]

Why not get some supplements?
I couldn't stop until I got them... check the health store here and then buy locally. I just made my own starter pack.
You really have to approach it as trial and error after you are feeling better, but LGLUT was a must for me. I took that for a long time.

I don't think you should 'white knuckle it when you don't have to!
11 days is great!!!

[setanta]

Hi Eloise,I am the Queen of supplements and do tons of research in that department so yes I do take supplement's and have an excellent diet of locally grown veg and only eat 100% grass fed meat which I have delivered from a farm. I beleive my diet has kept me healthy as my blood work is always excellent but then again I have only recently found out that you can have normal LFT results with cirrhosis. Health is probably the biggest factor for my quitting.
I used to take L-Glutamine until I read about some cancer link but need to look into that further.

[Byrdlady]

Setanta,
What you are experiencing is called 'Euphoric Recall'. You can do a search on this site about it...where we only remember the misty watercolored memories. But there at the end, it was anything BUT rosy for me.
As I mentioned, hang in there til Day 13.....I fell twice at day 12 and I could just kick myself for that, because at D13, something just clicked into place and the road smoothed out and I knew I could do it. Just don't quit before the magic happens....it WILL happen. I wish the sober me could have stressed this to the 'drinking me' 6 years ago!
I am so proud of you, you sound determined and that's exactly what it takes! Hugs to you, Byrdie

[setanta]

That's exactly it Byrdlady, euphoric recall or selective thinking. Yea,just been reading a lot about it and I think it is a major cause for relapse so now I have to train my brain and unlock that little compartment where I hide away all the bad memories associated with alcohol and to remember them vividly when the craving starts. Anyway all going well now for the past 2 days with just a few twinges hear and there out of the blue which I can handle. I imagine myself in a hospital bed with tubes coming out of me and thinking I did this to myself and if I could just turn back time. Thats probably my hypochondriac brain in action LOL. It's strange to think that I eat incredibly healthy but then wash it down with poison,well sparkling water is my new drink.

So days 10 and 11 have been the worse and I'm hoping it gets easier but I'll have my guard up.

[Eloise]

You can do this and it will get easier!

[Matt M.]

Setanta- Thanks for sharing, I'd have to search a little, but 650ish days or so ago I posted with a similar title as yours mine said "12 days sober" and basically share some similar struggles. Here I am today creeping up on 22 months.

By the grace of God and this forum I haven't looked back much just so happens the 2 ladies that have chimed in here have been a part of my quit.
Your doing the right thing, post your feelings, share your struggles. It can be done! We are living proof. Everyday you go without that perfectly packaged poison, the struggles get lesser and easier.
Stay Hard my friend!