Hi all,
Im now about the three month mark and happy to say that I am still going well.
I've been on this journey about 3 /4 times now and each time, about the 4 month mark I just start drinking again.
I plan to watch it very carefully this time in case I ever have any thoughts that 'I can handle this'
I thought I had it in the bag last time and that I wouldn't drink again but it wasn't so.
All I can keep doing is to remember to be grateful on a daily basis for this gift of sobriety and hang in there for the long haul.
Sometimes I've indulged in negative self-talk- and done the whiney moany thing about how hard it all is, but on the whole I've found it surprisingly
straightforward. The worst part was the first month when my sleep patterns and anxiety were all over the place but I am now sleeping more soundly though not yet sleeping all through the night by any means, but anxiety has gone thankfully and I feel hopeful that eventually I'll get close to a good night's sleep.
I've had some tests too considering I'm so early in recovery, with lots of visitors drinking socilally all around me. Just back from a wedding too, where the inevitable questions were asked but when people heard that I hadnt had a drink in 3 months no-one pressured or even batted an eyelid, in fact some said "Good for you, I wish I could last that long"
On the whole I feel good. I'm coping with my new way of life and I'm beginning to think that it's really possible that I could have a life free of AL.
As long as I never ever think that "I can handle this". I know I cant. I've crossed the line between being a social drinker and a dependent one. Even though I never passed out with al, or forgot anything I said or did, or hurt anyone, I still know it was taking more to get the same effect. I often drank more than I intended to and more often than I wanted to. I usually felt crap the next day. I couldnt sleep after 5 am. etc etc. I now fully understand that alcoholism is progressive. I won't be able to go back to it and moderate. before I know it I'll be back where I was again and I value my health too much to go back to that horrible depressing place where a substance has me in its grips.
I intend to add to my journey right here on this thread. I know it'll be a long one and that I'm just starting out but I have hope that I have truly surrendered this time. I know that I am only a baby in sobriety and that many many people have said the same thing only to become recidivists time and again. But I guess only time will tell. Thanks for listening.
Kairos
Im now about the three month mark and happy to say that I am still going well.
I've been on this journey about 3 /4 times now and each time, about the 4 month mark I just start drinking again.
I plan to watch it very carefully this time in case I ever have any thoughts that 'I can handle this'
I thought I had it in the bag last time and that I wouldn't drink again but it wasn't so.
All I can keep doing is to remember to be grateful on a daily basis for this gift of sobriety and hang in there for the long haul.
Sometimes I've indulged in negative self-talk- and done the whiney moany thing about how hard it all is, but on the whole I've found it surprisingly
straightforward. The worst part was the first month when my sleep patterns and anxiety were all over the place but I am now sleeping more soundly though not yet sleeping all through the night by any means, but anxiety has gone thankfully and I feel hopeful that eventually I'll get close to a good night's sleep.
I've had some tests too considering I'm so early in recovery, with lots of visitors drinking socilally all around me. Just back from a wedding too, where the inevitable questions were asked but when people heard that I hadnt had a drink in 3 months no-one pressured or even batted an eyelid, in fact some said "Good for you, I wish I could last that long"
On the whole I feel good. I'm coping with my new way of life and I'm beginning to think that it's really possible that I could have a life free of AL.
As long as I never ever think that "I can handle this". I know I cant. I've crossed the line between being a social drinker and a dependent one. Even though I never passed out with al, or forgot anything I said or did, or hurt anyone, I still know it was taking more to get the same effect. I often drank more than I intended to and more often than I wanted to. I usually felt crap the next day. I couldnt sleep after 5 am. etc etc. I now fully understand that alcoholism is progressive. I won't be able to go back to it and moderate. before I know it I'll be back where I was again and I value my health too much to go back to that horrible depressing place where a substance has me in its grips.
I intend to add to my journey right here on this thread. I know it'll be a long one and that I'm just starting out but I have hope that I have truly surrendered this time. I know that I am only a baby in sobriety and that many many people have said the same thing only to become recidivists time and again. But I guess only time will tell. Thanks for listening.
Kairos
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