New, major issues n petrified

[Panda]

Hi. My name is actually katie. Panda was my best kitty friend n my rock when I was,going thru a divorce. Just,started,a few days,ago n have, received some great responses. This decision and it's processes are not easy, and I know I'm going to need a lot of help, so thank you for everyone who I've spoken to as well everyone i hope to be able to speak to. I am totally losing it right now. So much crap going on and I need to stop using al to calm it but I'm completely overwhelmed. My meds should be enough, but as we all know al is instant gratification. This sucks. I'm so petrified

[Beanie]

Panda...you are having a totally human (and very common) reaction. I tried to think of all this as an adventure to suck some of the fear out of it. Everything is new and different (like a trip to Botswana!) and you feel disoriented and unsteady but you will get your bearing. In fact, it is inevitable if you give it the time that is required....You're walking the walk...it is rocky at first. I'm in a similar place....Take my hand! We can do this....

[Inthesky]

Hi Panda and Beanie,
You too should work together most definitely. I have my quit buddy and I don't know what I would do without him. :love: Even though our pasts are very different we both have the same goal and are heading out on this adventure together. This site is full of caring, supportive and best of all knowledgeable people. Any questions everyone is more than happy to help they have all been there or working to get there. You can do it!
Sky

[Panda]

Thank you Beanie. Very good to know I'm not the only one who feels this way. I'm still tapering because it's been drilled in my head that there are serious side effects of stopping cold turkey, so the anxiety starts in along with full blown panic attacks - bad enough that I walk around with my phone in case I need to call 911. Feel like i'm crazy, but it's getting a little better every day. I just looked into some parks near me that have nature trails so I can get out and feel peaceful. Hope it works! I hope you are feeling well. Chat soon.

[Panda]

Hello Sky. Thank you for your advice I really appreciate it. And I appreciate feeling so welcome from everyone. It's a great idea to have someone in the same position to speak to (as you suggested) and I already responded to Beanie's reply. Sometimes I just feel like I don't knowthe right thing to say, so I hope nothing comes out wrong. I'm still cutting down more every day. If I don't my anxietywill skyrocket and I'll start having major panic attacks. Thankfully meds and counseling (and of course MWO) is helping immensely. Thank you again, Sky

[available]

Katie, welcome to MWO. God i remember my early days when i stopped drinking. Everything seemed 1000 times worse than what it was, my al brain was missing the al i used to pour into it and i had so many close calls. I imagined i would never be able to fill the hours in the day as i would be so bored, i thought my personality would become that of a rock if i didnt drink but guess what? There are never enough hours in the day, my personality blossomed as i did. I went through a friend dying of cancer, 2 dogs that nearly died and work and life and family and everything else but i also decided that my life was worth living. The concept of not drinking forever was overwhelming so i took one day at a time, one minute if necessary. I did take valium for the first few day as my panic attacks were through the roof. now i very rarely get a panic. There is so much of our lives that is ruined by drinking. I can tell you now after nearly 1000 (yes!) that not drinking has been the best thing i have ever done in my life and also the hardest.

I came on here everyday, i read, i listened, i took the advice i wanted and plodded along. I watched videos on al, i read, i started knitting, i got my children on board to help me. i took ever ounce of help and support i could. I was not alone on MWO, every single person has had a day 1.

I lost friends and i gained new ones, i learnt to love myself again and now this is my life. The only thing that can take it away is al and i will never let that happen. You can do this, i spent all the hours i used to drink on MWO and reading and posting.

You can do this. Take care x

[Beanie]

Such great advice from all. Hey panda! I hope today is a little brighter than the last. You probably already have supplements up if you don't, that is a good place to start. I find they help (psychological and physiological I suspect). I am also a big fan of mindfulness mediatation. There are awesome apps out there (many free or next to it) that I have downloaded that help when my stress is out of control. I especially like "buddhify" (it has a menu of short and long meditations for whatever you are doing or feeling) but there are so many to choose from. Just a thought. Can't have too many tools in the toolbox. Thinking of you and sending you cool vibes....
B

[abcowboy]

Hey Katie, you're getting some great advice! My first few weeks after I put down the beer for good I don't remember how many times I said the Serenity Prayer, the Lord's Prayer, and just plain old talked to myself and the Big Guy upstairs. It was tough getting through some of my moments without drinking, but I did it and you can as well. Every morning I started my day just asking to get through that day, and every night when I hit the pillow sober I gave thanks for getting through another day AF. I still start everyday asking for 24 hours of sobriety and end my day being grateful that I did, but prayer isn't required as often anymore. My strength comes from within now, with a bit of help from the Man upstairs, but you gain that strength one day at a time till no excuse is good enough to pick up that first drink. Hang in there, take it one day at a time, and you'll be surprised how those days add up! I'm rootin' for ya!