sick of myself

[buckledown]

sick of myself

Welcome welcome...I relate to your story.....I too have children who have seen me out of hand too many times...i am a child of alcoholics and swore i would never do that ...so the shame is from both sides...what i saw as a child and what i am showing my children....I have 8 days AF today which i attribute largly to this place...Its not much but its a start...more than i have done in a LOOOOOOONG time.....having a place to come a get full support...without judgement has been so wonderful....i really reccomend the book and I started on the topamax this time...it seems to be making a big difference...be proud of yourself for posting and please read all you can....There is so much to read and learn here...do this for yourself first ...your kids second...you can do this...we can...Keep Posting....Good luck and god Bless:welcome: :l Buck

[louise]

sick of myself

Welcome Mamarenee, you will find lots of support and inspiration here.

[SophieS]

sick of myself

i didnt drink for 11 months after drinking for around 19 years since starting again i cannot handle the hangover help if you can. please.im a journalist and going to do a story about this no names dont worry

[Saint Jude]

sick of myself

Hi Mama, and :welcome: aboard... It'll start getting better. This is a wonderful program,... I'm living proof of it.



Eyes thanks for the wonderful post. Very nicely put. That struck a bunch of chords with me.:thanks:

:l Judie

[Change]

sick of myself

eyesontheprize;149160 wrote: It strikes me that adverts for booze are selling 'company, friends and good times', that's no accident.
...
So thank you for mentioning the loneliness. It's almost the last taboo, you can admit to pretty much anything but that, it smacks of failure, of not being good enough to have friends, to being a sad sack,
...
mainly due to the glossy ad images of everyone being surrounded by hordes of laughing, glamorous friends. The truth is that EVERYONE gets lonely sometimes. I've been lonely in a relationship and lonely on my own.
...
I'm hoping that once I can get used to identifying that need for a drink as a wave of loneliness, admitting what it is and just acknowledging it as a feeling of the moment, I won't turn a fleeting feeling of loneliness into a day long binge, followed by the excruciating self disgust and panic and depression of a morning after.

Good point about the advertising, i'd never thought of it like that. Although i pretty much knew i was drinking out of loneliness at first. But, then it became out of boredom. Loneliness is sitting with a bottle at night, in front of the tv.

Yes, you are right... the media, or the 'powers that be' influence the way we perceive ourselves and set societies expectations. I realised that my situation (being 'single') was not all that bad when i went to work for a company and witnessed what all the married people were going through and what their lives were really like (they all whinged about their partners and they weren't happily). I realised that my life wasn't so bad.

It's amazing what realisations prevail when you are sober.. I also think a reason that people drink is a lack of direction in their lives.

[Change]

sick of myself

Btw, i am going to break the mold with loneliness... i am going to be honest about it. Whilst i don't feel lonely at the moment, i can understand what people are going through and that it does exist. And, that it is a real problem in society.

[karbihere]

sick of myself

hello to all from hot sandy utah, im new here and i guess i placed a message in the joke forum ( imagine that ) I wish the insanity of this disease was a joke and its not, i had said that i just moved here from san diego got engaged on easter to a wonderful normal man and never really saw the extent of this disease till he bailed me out on 5.000 bond and know i have 5 charges against me including assault on a police officer. have a attorney working on it in san diego but chances are i will have to go back and face that humiliating night. coming up now on two months sober again and i think the fear and the shame and guilt are keeping me sober at this point. Almost drank last weekend and bless my fiances heart talked me out of it. thats how this disease works cunning baffling and very powerful, i would have drank if it wasnt for him. thanks to all who are here i dont feel so alone

[SKendall]

sick of myself

Hey mamrenee, welcome. Boy you have a lot going on and need to applauded for raising these kids alone, that has to be and overwhelming prospect.

You will gets lot of support around here.

[buffy]

sick of myself

Hi Karbi, glad to see you got out of the joke forum. What you are going through is certainly not a joke. We all understand the feelings that you are going through. It sounds like you have a good guy to help you through it. We will be here too.

[mamarenee]

sick of myself

Thanks for all the feedback. How great to be able to check in and vent.