Back where I started

[Princess_to_J]

Hopefully I'm posting this in the right place

I think it was about this time 7 years ago when I first joined this site, with the support of people here I managed to quit drinking completely for 7 or 8 months, I even managed to go on holiday and not have one drink at all.

Now I'm here again, what went wrong? I thought |I could handle a drink now and again, I really thought I could, now... well I'm back where I started. I can't even go one day without a drink. I thought my new job would help me not drink with having to get up at 4.30am, but no, all I can think about is the days I can drink to my hearts content, not just on an evening but during the day too. I got home at 10am yesterday and had a bottle of wine open by 10.15am, today I had a day off work but I still had the wne open by 11am

Today is a good day, its 10pm and I've only had a bottle and half of wine.

I know it has to stop I need to be back where I was seven years ago.

Its been a downward spiral since last March, yes I was drinking before that but no where near as bad as I am now... Ironically the person who helped me quit back then is now the reason I'm drinking so much again now.

Its now so bad that I went to a party last year and had to be carried home by a friend who didnt actually know what number house I lived at, apparently every few houses I told her it was my house.. Thank God she got me home safely that night, I've never ever been that bad before....

So now its got to stop. I want my sober life back, Its not just my life its affecting but my childrens too. I know I have to stop before it affects them anymore than it has already.

Well that's me... Looking forward to being back in the nest now.

Thank you for listening

L xxx

[Lost Soul]

Hi Princess,
Thank you for sharing - you so did the right thing returning here & reaching out for support x I was in a similar situation as well as yourself - where I returned here recently after relapsing after a period of sobriety.
I've found the support here so very helpful and has really helped me x
Sorry you are feeling so down at the moment, it's fantastic that you achieved 8 months sober - well done! I think not all folk get the AF first time & I try to think of my relapses as a chance to learn from & hopefully make for a stronger quit.
Sending thoughts of strength to you x
Take Care
LS

[Princess_to_J]

Thanks LS x

[Princess_to_J]

Tomorrow will be extra difficult, only working my early morning job which is a green light for cracking open the wine by 9.30am,. Baby steps and one day at a time I guess x

[Guitarista]

Welcome back Princess.

Take it easy for the rest of tonight. See if you can drink some water too. Each day is a new opportunity for a new beginning. Take back your precious life. You are worth it friend.

Remember our toolbox? Some great reading. Link below.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/monthly-abstinence/24253-tool-box.html

[Pavati]

Hi, Princess:

Read and post and read and post. That's what helped me. You and your kids deserve better than cracking a bottle of wine open at 10am. There's a lot to do! I have found FREEDOM and relief from not drinking - I know you can, too.

Pav

[Byrdlady]

Welcome back! Yours is a very familiar story, Im afraid. When it comes to AL, we just have lost control. But there is good news, it doesnt take but a couple good sober days to get your color back! Come join us in the Newbies Nest, its really hopping! Link in my signature line.
So glad you are determimed get reclaim your life! It IS worth it! Byrdie

[dyingtobealive]

Welcome back! It's great you made it 8 months - I'm sure you can do it it again!

I'm new to this. Minus being pregnant (because I HAD to) this is the first time I've been sober in probably 7-8 years. I'm on day 7.

We all have to start somewhere! Just keep focused on how much you want to be sober!

[abcowboy]

:welcome: back P2J! It’s really good to see you reaching out for help, as Matt says, there is a 100% chance we can’t do it on our own! I’m kinda known around the place as the “tough love” supporter, but everything I say I mean in a kind way.

I want to say congrats to you for recognizing that the other person was the reason you drank, but they really weren’t. You’re the reason you drank, the only reason, no one forced that drink to your mouth. The simple truth is that you wanted to drink more than you wanted to be sober. And by coming back, you’ve shown you want to turn that around, that you want to be sober more than you want to drink.

As Pav said, read, post, read then do it some more. Check in every day, get the support you need to get through each day. I was like you at the end of my drinking career, cracked open a beer at 10am (sometimes earlier) and there went my day. So if an ornery old coot like me can give up 40 years of drinking and never look back, anyone can!

[Princess_to_J]

Thank you for your words every body and the reminder about the toolbox Guitarista, I had remembered the nest, I did write a post for their last night then blummin lost it somewhere when it would not send.

Abcowboy you are so right you just lose the day the moment you have your first drink.

I've been awake most of the night (nothing new there) trying to focus on the positives, how I'll feel tomorrow morning when I wake up without a hangover, stuff like that...

Anyway time to get ready for work

Lx

[mario]

Hi princess how are you doing?

[Lost Soul]

Hi Princess, how are you? Have missed you in the nest - I hope you are okay x
LS