Stimulus Control/Avoidance

[SouthLondoner]

Monday to Friday's are fine. There is no need for me to be near a drop of AL. Work acts as a distraction - no drinking on work nights, and work is keeping me busy.

But, roll on Saturday and the work distraction is no longer there, with me facing a void. So much of my social life has been drink related - and without it your options reduce and you feel isolated and lonely.

What are your best tips to find a new social circle/life. It seems to get much harder as you get older.

[little beagle]

I've honestly learned to enjoy my own company at home. Don't know if that's much help...

[SouthLondoner]

In a way, yes. But I find it's that added isolation that only stokes the fire.

It's like an all or nothing approach currently - stay at home and isolate, and eventually feel the need for 'connection' or 'socialising' = the easy option of drinks with friends.

So, connecting and socialising for real is a goal. Re-teaching the brain to be out and have fun without the need for AL

[Marylou123]

Hi SL -- perhaps consider meeting up with friends for occasions that don't typically include al, like breakfast (booze free restaurant if necessary, i.e. IHOP), organize a hike/dodgeball game, visit the zoo or a castle/gallery/movie, go to church, etc.

Just some suggestions - stay on the AF path - it gets easier with time.

[Lost Soul]

Hi SL, I agree it can be tough to find things to do & people to see when you have used AL in your social life & coping with boredom can be hard. I think as Marylou mentioned - it does get easier! I found posting & reading here every day helpful, to stay accountable to yourself & ask for support when you need & folk here will have your back :happy2: Being really kind to yourself in the early days too is so important until you feel a bit stronger x
Wish you all the best
LS

[mario]

Hi SL, As you feel its just weekends that are your witching hours, try and plan for the boring times, have you any old hobbies that have gone ? Go out and get a few new ones, join a gym, go for walks, get up earlier and jump on a London tour bus. get a train anywhere.

There are thousands of ways of distracting yourself until you find what you are happy with & suits your particular lifestyle, it does only get better. :-)

[Orimus]

For myself right now I tend to distract myself by taking long drives, going down by the lakes or to the forest. I will be getting back to my dojo and have been looking at getting back to yoga as well as outdoor groups. Maybe, like with the gym, you can find some type of group or club you can join to give you that connection. Can check out something like meetup.com and look for the al-free events. As Mario mentioned maybe something with a hobby that you have gotten away from or something you've always wanted to try like a painting class.