I've had a drinking problem for about 10 years now and it's taken this long for me to finally admit I'm an alcoholic. I, like many, have just convinced myself I needed to change this or that, come up with this rule to follow or read this book. But that ultimately I could change my relationship with alcohol and drink moderately, "like everyone else."
Well, no. I can't. Unfortunately I had to lose my job to find that out. This is the lowest I've ever been and I'm truly terrified. But if this pain is what it will take to get me on a sober path, then I hope that's where I'm headed.
After getting fired, I decided enough was enough with the bullshit. No more doing this on my own. Instead of making an appointment with a therapist, as I usually would, I found an alcohol addiction counseling and education center where our counseling sessions are specifically focused on my addiction, how to get sober and the tools I need to continue living a sober life. Going there and being totally honest was a first for me, but a giant step.
The biggest step I've made thus far, however, is FINALLY going to an AA meeting. I don't know why I resisted all this time. I was so scared to show my face and say the words: "I'm an alcoholic." Well, I went to my first meeting last night and it changed my whole world. I can't wait to go back to that one, and I'm finding another one to go to today.
I'm terrified about my current financial situation and career, but I'm holding onto hope that I'll look back on this moment and say "that's when it all changed." I know I'm not alone, but I know I have an addiction that is killing me and trying to ruin my life in the meantime. I need tools, community and the desire to not want to drink. I need to wake up every day and know that it's my choice and that I have a lot of people supporting me. I need to know that I can get through anything without alcohol and no matter how painful or uncomfortable something is, it'll feel better on the other side having gone through it sober.
I'm thankful for this community as another way to express myself and know that I'm not alone. And for things like Roll Call to keep me accountable and make me want to wake up every morning and let you all know how many days it's been.
*Day5
Well, no. I can't. Unfortunately I had to lose my job to find that out. This is the lowest I've ever been and I'm truly terrified. But if this pain is what it will take to get me on a sober path, then I hope that's where I'm headed.
After getting fired, I decided enough was enough with the bullshit. No more doing this on my own. Instead of making an appointment with a therapist, as I usually would, I found an alcohol addiction counseling and education center where our counseling sessions are specifically focused on my addiction, how to get sober and the tools I need to continue living a sober life. Going there and being totally honest was a first for me, but a giant step.
The biggest step I've made thus far, however, is FINALLY going to an AA meeting. I don't know why I resisted all this time. I was so scared to show my face and say the words: "I'm an alcoholic." Well, I went to my first meeting last night and it changed my whole world. I can't wait to go back to that one, and I'm finding another one to go to today.
I'm terrified about my current financial situation and career, but I'm holding onto hope that I'll look back on this moment and say "that's when it all changed." I know I'm not alone, but I know I have an addiction that is killing me and trying to ruin my life in the meantime. I need tools, community and the desire to not want to drink. I need to wake up every day and know that it's my choice and that I have a lot of people supporting me. I need to know that I can get through anything without alcohol and no matter how painful or uncomfortable something is, it'll feel better on the other side having gone through it sober.
I'm thankful for this community as another way to express myself and know that I'm not alone. And for things like Roll Call to keep me accountable and make me want to wake up every morning and let you all know how many days it's been.
*Day5
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