Please not again!

[ssd858]

Re: Please not again!

Day 23 and looking forward to a week from now when I hit 30 days.
My new goal is to make it to May! I have a family event then and to have over 2 months
a-free will be a good start to my new life. It's been over 5 years since I did not drink, really over-drink, daily.

[Lost Soul]

Re: Please not again!

Congratulations on 23 days AF SSD! Xxx

[ssd858]

Re: Please not again!

I am trying to do what NoSugar said: "notice and appreciate every little thing that is better because I am not drinking!"

We are saving a noticeable amount of money not drinking and have been splurging on nicer restaurants for dinners out. Before, adding drinks to the tab meant we would limit our visits to some of our favorite restaurants. Bonus to our health in 2 ways!

I have lost some weight, not sure how much. But, my clothes are fitting better and I have gone down a pant size in just 3 weeks.

[ssd858]

Re: Please not again!

Today makes 1 month
Some thoughts for me to reflect on should I feel weak in my quit.

Sleep is still off and on. The on days are so good! Even the off days are better than being hung over. I do feel my work is suffering a bit which makes me feel bad. Hopefully a few more weeks will resolve this.

I am noticing that I feel more calm about things. When I am dealing with issues that previously made me feel anxious (family stuff) I am now able to recognize that I can not change the situation and am better able to accept it.

I find that I can look myself in the eye - it was obvious just looking at me that I was not well.

I feel grateful to be able to work through the Hip Sobriety program on my own. I was so down on myself for not having utilized it at the time I signed up for it. Also, the founder is starting an alumni after care experience that I can sign up for that begins next month. The timing is perfect for me.

A reminder to myself about the last time I had 3 weeks sober and returned to drinking - I did not even like the taste of my favorite wine! I really thought it was a bad bottle! I had the same experience after a trip to Europe where my wine of choice was not available. After a few weeks off of the poison, it just didn't taste good! Of course it did not take me long to build back to crazing it.

My plan: continue working to create a life that I don't need to escape from.

[available]

Re: Please not again!

congratulations on a month sober SSD. Keep up the hard work and believe me in that life only gets better and better.

[abcowboy]

Well [MENTION=22385]ssd858[/MENTION], you achieved what you set out to do! You got your 30 days in! Now what? I’m going to bet that you’re found more than a few reasons to continue! And then how do you carry on if hubby decides to have a drink or two occasionally? One day at a time is how, and remembering how good you’ve felt this past month. Why give up a good thing, the first month is always one of the toughest, and that’s behind you now….

[ssd858]

Re: Please not again!

Ava and Cowboy - thank you for stopping by:love: It feels so good to have finally made it to 30 days!

I am in for another 30 days. I am happily surprised by my resolve this time. There have only been a
few times that I've thought about having a drink.

Last night I thought my husband would have a drink, but he did not. He is really busy and stressed at work and has
had to work this weekend. I think that his brain is clearing a bit and maybe this will motivate him to cut way
back at the bare minimum. Either way, right now I am firm in my resolve!

Excited to see how I feel with another 30 days af!

[ssd858]

Re: Please not again!

Day 31

Thankfully, I have somehow gotten to the point at which my brain is not in cognitive discord: wanting to quit drinking while still hoping and wanting to be able to drink in moderation. Facing the fact that I cannot moderate. Drinking just 1 or 2 is not possible for me. I know because I have tried so many times. Fed up with the daily recrimination and shame. For those of us in addiction, it truly is easier to refrain from the 1 drink than it is to stop at 2! Our off button has been worn down from the years of being continually overridden.
So, my choice is to accept this and to live my life with my eyes wide open. I see things so much more clearly and without the angst and depression that alcohol leaves me with. No, my life is not perfect, but I am better able to deal with what life sends my way. And to enjoy the beauty!

[Wildflowers]

Re: Please not again!

[MENTION=22385]ssd858[/MENTION] Hope your still doing well. Was just thinking of you. Take care.... :smile:

[ssd858]

Re: Please not again!

Thank you for thinking of me:hug:
How are you doing WF?

So disheartening to make it to 93 days afree and then
drink steadily for 2 1/2 weeks. Had a good cry and trying for day 1 again.

[Guitarista]

Re: Please not again!

Go for it Ssd. You are worth it. Great work on day 1. Onwards from here.

[paulywogg]

Re: Please not again!

How are you Ssd? I'll never forget during my last relapse the encouraging words you had for me,made me feel like less of a loser,you are a great person and its time to focus on letting that greatness shine,get yer buns back here!

[ssd858]

Re: Please not again!

Well, didn't make it yesterday. Hoping today will be my day 1.

Gman - happy to see you doing so well!

Hey Pauly - my hugs to you for the loss of your brother. Working through this without al shows your true strength. Stay strong.

I am trying to not do the GSR thing and just put my thoughts on making the changes I need to make. So hard sometimes. Just gotta get that day 1 done. After 90+ days I tried to fool myself that I could moderate. Same old story.

I am going to buy myself some chocolate cake to have tonight instead of wine. I had planned that yesterday but had wine at the hair salon instead It is crazy that alcohol is served at most salons now.

[dill]

Re: Please not again!

93 days is awesome and you will be there again [MENTION=22385]ssd858[/MENTION]. I'm glad to see you back!

[paulywogg]

Re: Please not again!

We wouldn't be able to serve wine st our salon Ssd... Wouldn't be able to keep the stylists out of it