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    Going for a month AF

    Hi everyone,

    Cindi:wd: - outstanding! Bet you felt virtuous this morning. Yep, it does sound like you need a hobby. Somehow don't see you as the knitting type (though could be wrong, of course!). What did you like doing before you started drinking? Even when you were really young? My counsellor asked me this and it helped me rediscover the joys of listening to loud music and dancing round the house, going swimming regularly, taking the time to write and talk to people, to just enjoy the beauty of nature....Sorry if I'm starting to sound weird here. As I said, it helped to 'revisit' pleasures and was a starting point to discovering some new ones.

    Rachel, thank you so much for your support. It's ok, really, I'm fine with the upheaval, I know it's perfectly normal to feel like I do, if a little unpleasant and unsettling at times, which is why it was so great for me (though probably not for you lol) to let rip.

    Had a good day today, very productive, which always puts me in a good mood - so why don't I always be productive? The human mind (well this one, anyway) is a truly bizarre thing. Day 27 is coming to an end for me - productivity is tiring!

    Luc, Sweet Cheeks.....where are you????

    Take care everyone
    Uli

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      Going for a month AF

      Hi All, Cindi and Uda you sound like you are doing really well ! Sweet Cheeks I will post that pesto recipie in the Recipie corner this weekend...I will let you know when. Have a busy weekend coming up with several social engagements but it is the last weekend before the big 30 mark so I am determined. Luc, I think I am now drinking a similar drink as yours....mine is club soda with splash of cranberry juice and a twist of lime...delish ! Just finished AF Day 23 ! Have a great Thursday everyone. Take care.
      Lilac

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        Going for a month AF

        Hi Guys,

        I'm back - had a really busy day yesterday with impromptu meetings and the last one being digging myself out of the crap that I got myself in the other day with this e-mail about someone. Anyway, it's now been sorted and no harm done. I didn't get chance to log on and as usual am crashing through the day with no time to spare.

        I really can't get myself on track this week. Having had a few drinks over the weekend, I drank on Monday (about 3 glasses of wine) and had an a/f day yesterday. I feel as if my body is burning though which really doesn't feel good. I really need to grab myself by the throat, give myself a damn good shake and talking to and get to grips and cut the drink down. Uli day 27, you're amazing. Hopefully someday soon I'll have thesame resolve. I really feel for you and the resentment and bitterness you have for your father. I heard a rumour about my dad exposing himself to a young girl (don't know if it's true - have no other evidence), but I felt discusted at that. I've absolutely no idea how you must feel. Like Rachel says (love the new you name by the way) don't let him drag you down; you're worth more than that. You've come so far. Rant any day - you know where we all are.

        Luc - how are you - keep in touch. Cindi well done on the wine front. I don't think I could have done that, not just yet anyway. It's definitely a case of mind over matter and like your counsellor says, if you could reinvent the things you enjoy, and new ones, your on the upward spiral. I've just been to a new class at the gym which included yoga, thai chi and pilates. My legs were complete jelly but I think I'm going enjoy it. Maybe I'll find my inner sanctum.

        Lilac - can't wait for the recipie. Will be doing some cooking over the weekend to keep busy. Well done for being able to resist temptation - day 23 you're doing so well.

        Anyway, must dash - having a skive break. Hopefully I'll be a bit more positive and less on fire tomorrow. Look forward to your posts - Rachel - how's the bleach queen doin?

        Take care
        Sweet

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          Going for a month AF

          I think I'm a 'mod' after all

          Hello all of you, glad to hear that we are all still doing our thing without too much pain. I've had a busy week, sorry not to have posted, but I have followed all your contributions with interest. We don't set the world on fire on our thread, but we know where we are going.
          Cindi is definately going through a strong patch (well done - and you sound pleased!); I'm looking out for the pesto recipe as well Lilac; Sweet is getting dizzy dashing about, but seems to have things almost under control, and Uli thinks we should blow the dust off our beads and sandals, stick some flowers in our hair and then dance round the house to loud music like when we were "really young" !!!! (I'll let you know how I get on Uli).
          About the mod thing; well I haven't managed a month af, but I have had only three days drinking wine this month, then only three glasses each time and never at home although we have a store of wine under the house (450/500 bottles). I seem to have myself in control of the problem, as I haven't had the dreadful cravings (except for one evening), perhaps I am not physically dependant but mentally. I have missed the enjoyment of drinking nice wines, but I haven't missed the buzz 'n blackouts. (hangovers were never a problem). Little voice is singing at the back of my head something to the tune of Pride comes before etc etc..........
          I fly to London tomorrow, to an old school friend's birthday reunion, and I know now that I will drink, it would seem to churlish to fly in from Geneva and refuse a glass or two of shampoo !! Back home on Saturday and A.F.ity.
          Lilac your cranberry cocktail, although sounding delish, smacks of a sugar content. Is club soda like soda water or lemonade, I've never heard of it. I use Cranberry Light with Perrier (or any other bespoke sparkling water - must get myself some limes).
          Cheers girls, keep up the positivity, we are all making progress and MUST recognise it, and take strength from it.

          luc
          Gonnabee not Wannabee

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            Going for a month AF

            Hi Guys

            Good to hear from you Luc - you're doing so well - are you on the Kudzu to stop these cravings. I know it's early days for me but I don't seem to be resisting the urge - I do, it's not for more than 2-4 days at a time. Am trying to keep busy but the gremlin in my head seems to cry out for wine.

            Maybe I do need to go to my GP for help - I thought I could do it on my own. Have had a few glasses tonight again - not proud either as there's no reason why but habit.

            Will try to be strong tomorrow - say a prayer for me.
            Sweet
            xxxx

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              Going for a month AF

              Good morning Sweet, a quickie before leaving for the airport. Yes, I have been taking the Kudzu (from H&B), normally 1 or 2 around four thirty. Not only do I find it supresses the urge to drink wine, it also (for me) seems to act as an appetite suppressant. For the first couple of weeks when I started this, I was raiding the fridge all evening, but now I don't get beyond some chicken/fish salad and fruit. and even then I'm not ravenous. I've lost about three kilos since mid May.
              I'll catch up with you all on Sunday, have a great weekend - and keep up the good work.

              luc
              Gonnabee not Wannabee

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                Going for a month AF

                Hi everyone,

                Sorry I haven't been here for a couple of days (I think?) - very busy with work and trying to sort some stuff out and the rest of the time I seem to spend writing out what I'm 'going to say' at the meeting on Wednesday and then tearing it up....I may not be pissed anymore, but I'm still pretty weird. Lol luc re the beads. Actually, I do feel far more in touch with my 'inner hippy' than I have done for a long time. Maybe I'm even weirder than I thought??

                Lilac, outstanding!!! You're doing brilliantly and seem to be very, very determined about tomorrow's 'entertaining' and the temptations that might bring. Wish you the best of luck sticking to your resolve, a fun time and, remember, even if it doesn't work out, we're here for you and help you dust yourself down and pick yourself up.

                Sweetcheeks, please, please don't grab yourself by the throat. You so don't deserve that - you're suffering and anybody suffering needs kindness, sympathy and understanding - not a moral lecture and punishment. So please, please be kind to yourself. Like luc I've found the kudzu to make me eat less and more slowly - good thing for me as I need to lose some weight. Do get all the help you can and need, from wherever. YOU DO DESERVE IT.

                Luc, you've done brilliantly - almost extreme moderation, I'd say. Maybe not quite as exciting as extreme sports but probably better for you. Hope you have (had by the time you read this, I guess) a great weekend in old Blighty.

                Cindi, where are you??? Hope you haven't fallen victim to the black jack dens....

                Well, tomorrow is the last day of my month. Funny how there is this feeling of 'well that's done'. Am not 'sure' whether to try mods or stay af - is that 'mods' voice really the addiction talking? Well, will commit to staying af until Wednesday (meeting with father) at the very, very least.

                Re: Non-alcoholic drinks - mine is Perrier flavoured with lemon, lime or grapefruit. Had a wonderful experience at the bottle bank yesterday unloading boxes of bottles (1 wine (drunk by guests), 40 Perrier, 4 coffee jars). Felt like waving my arms about and shouting:
                Look at me, look at me - no booze bottles in this lot! Thankfully, I appear to be not as weird as that.

                Have a great weekend guys.
                Uli x

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                  Going for a month AF

                  Back home from the land of OZ

                  The wonderful Wizard of OZ let me come home for the weekend. Yea!!!

                  I did go to the casino but a $40.00 investment turned into $400.00, wish I could do as well playing black jack that often!! I do think staying sober helped!!

                  I had fun!!

                  The internet connection at the hotel is weird and everytime I tried to post it would lose connection. At work it is very difficult, the client is always standing right next to me. We are under a really tight schedule, actually a completely unrealistic one, and both of us are kind of running around like little chickens at work.

                  ULI :goodjob: YOU DID IT!!!!!! I am so impressed. I am giving no advice on the mods/abs thing. That is your choice.

                  Sweet Cheeks, Luc, Lilac, all, have a wonderful weekend. I survived without drinking to drunk all week, actually kept it a low, low volume. So I feel good. Going for AF this weekend, though, because my tummy and body are telling me something is not right. Hope years of abuse have not done irreversible damage...

                  Anyway, all have a great weekend and check in.

                  btw, Luc, enjoy the friends. So much fun to catch up on "old times."

                  Cindi
                  AF April 9, 2016

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                    Going for a month AF

                    Hi everyone,

                    Just checking in quickly - it's very late here and I need to get off to bed. Cindi, brilliant that you managed to keep it low all week. Hope the af weekend goes ok. And well done on the black jack! You obviously knew when to stop. I'm actually a bit scared of gambling because I fear I might not be able to, so I don't do it. Glad you had a good time and hope the work load gets easier and the deadlines more realistic.

                    Anyway, month is done and I am still going.

                    Hope you're all having a great weekend.

                    Uli x

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                      Going for a month AF

                      Hi Everyone,

                      Uda, CONGRATULATIONS !!! You have done so well and in the face of such trying times !!! You deserve a great big standing ovation...you have one coming from here !!! I will hit AF day 30 on Wed. I have sucessfully survived 2 dinners out with friends this week and one dinner party at my house tonight...so I think I will make it.

                      Luc, hope you have (had) fun at your birthday reunion. Club soda has no sugar and no calories...just carbonated water...not sure if the bars here in the states carry Perrier. I know all the good restaurants do, but not sure about the neighborhood pub things. Club soda is like a soft drink. I have lost 8 pounds since starting this AF month. YIPPEE !!! Still have more to go.

                      DB2 you are doing so well also !! Good for you for making your money grow at a casino...they always take mine from me !!!

                      Sweet, I know you are still waiting for that recipie...should have some down time tomorrow to look for it.

                      Hope the rest of your weekend is terrific. Talk to you all soon. Take good care.
                      Lilac

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                        Going for a month AF

                        Two about to hit the bit 30!!

                        Wow!!

                        I am so excited for you both!!

                        I did an AF day yesterday and looking forward to today. My body is telling me to, so I will.

                        Great Lilac.

                        Luc, let us know how the reunion went!!

                        Meanwhile, all in Alabama is quiet and peaceful. Babysat 5 year old lgranddaughter ast night and she just would NOT got to sleep. Boy, glad those days are gone for me!! Whew!! Love 'em, though. So cute.

                        On to day two.

                        "See" you guys around.

                        Cindi
                        AF April 9, 2016

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                          Going for a month AF

                          I month AF for Uli

                          :goodjob: :goodjob: :goodjob: :goodjob: I for each week. Uli, you have done it !!!!! I bet you are so pleased with yourself - was it difficult ? tell us the truth now. Do you think busy busy busy helped, you keep breezing onto the boards, rattle off your quick news and words of encouragement then buzz off again. What will you do now Uli - go for another one - you should you know.
                          Another couple of days for Lilac, then she's done her amazing thirty as well. You two have been just so good.
                          Cindi and Sweet clocking up their af days, and their mod days, each of at our own pace hey ?
                          I knew I was going to drink at the old school friend's birthday bash in England. I went to two lunch parties, a sit down dinner for seventy with disco and fabulous buffet. Over the two days, I had 14 alcoholic drinks (rather more than I was planning), no silly behaviour, passing out, or falling over on the dance floor (where I certainly strutted my stuff). I had a great weekend, took the last flight back to Geneva (delayed for one hour because of a bird strike earlier in the day), but really enjoyed looking down on dozens and dozens of great firework displays for the entire flight over France - it was July 14th Batille Day. The Eiffel Tower was all lit up in full glory - looked splendid flying over, even from 30,000 feet.
                          Back to AFity today, and for at least a few days this week, before I have another thing to get to grips with, but I'll tell you later.
                          Cheers for now, girls, I hope you are all having a wonderful weekend whereever you are.

                          luc
                          Gonnabee not Wannabee

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                            Going for a month AF

                            Hi Guys,

                            I haven't disappeared - just mega busy. I won't have time to read through your posts until tomorrow but just wanted to say I am still here - got the Kudzu (boy isn't it expensive, but cheaper than wine I guess). Day 1 a/f today.

                            Uli well done - will respond properly to you all tomorrow I promise!

                            Take care guys
                            Sweet
                            xxxxxx:goodjob:

                            Comment


                              Going for a month AF

                              Day 2 AF for me

                              I made a 2 dayer.

                              I won't promise a 3 stringer but I will promise a sober one.

                              Since we started this thread, I think I have only gotten sloshed once. Wow. Amazing!!

                              Thanks guys!! Thinking of your support and posts has really helped me a lot!!

                              Unfortunately, I am having a reaction to the topa (I think) and am having to titrate down to see if that is the cause. That will be sad because I believe it is helping me to keep my drinking down to such a low level.

                              Luc, I hope your future trial isn't too rough. Hang in there!!

                              Sweet Cheeks, great on the AF!!

                              Uli, let us know what you decide on the future plans. If you decide AF, we will be rooting for you. If you decide mods, we will be behind you every bit of the way!! We are all so proud you made your 30 days. It seemed to go by so fast and you did it despite your serious issues with your dad in the midst of it all!! WOW.

                              Anyhow, back to St. Louis today later. I guess I better call is the Show Me State since it is really not Kansas but the Arch there always reminds me of the rainbow from the Wizard of Oz...

                              Hope all have a wonderful day!!

                              Cindi
                              AF April 9, 2016

                              Comment


                                Going for a month AF

                                This is just a very quick visit to say a big thank you to you for your congratulations. It feels good, but also feels, strangely 'normal'? No secret to success, except many failed attempts until the time was 'right', I guess. Future plans? Still not sure. Have this meeting with my father tomorrow hanging over me. I hope I won't feel like a drink afterwards or that, if I do, I'll manage to persuade myself out of it.....Am very, very weary at the moment.

                                You're all doing great. Luc, I'm glad you had a good time and managed to avoid getting plastered, really hard to do in such situatios. Lilac, tomorrow is the BIG DAY. As I know you'll do it and probably won't be here tomorrow: CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! Outstanding achievement. Cindi, 2 days in a row is fantastic. Sweetcheeks, I hope you'll have a bit more time for yourself and good luck with day 2 af.

                                Wish me luck guys for tomorrow.

                                Uli x

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