Sport Spurt

[Sport]

Hello All,
I haven't been doing a great job moderating. When I plan for abstaining, some future event always seems to be worthy of planning around. So it's time for a new short term approach. I can do anything for a little while, it's the long term thinking that derails me before I even get going.

So in that spirit, it should only take a minimal effort for me to drink 2 less than yesterday. Even as I'm typing this, my mind is moving to the difficulty of tomorrow , then the next day...nope - just today - that's all. Just a little spurt of effort.

[Mr Vervill]

Re: Sport Spurt

Long term thinking has a way of derailing people in this process, whether you're trying to mod or abstain altogether. It just seems overwhelming at times. That's where the phrase "One day at a time comes from. It took me a while to fully comprehend it, and understand it, as well. Just get through this day, this hour. Never think forever, it's just too overwhelming.

[Sport]

Re: Sport Spurt

Too overwhelming - so true [MENTION=17632]Mr Vervill[/MENTION]. Forever paints this big, bleak, boring picture. Why sign up for that?? Logically I know that my future wouldn't be bleak and boring, but forever messes with my head.

I also know what you mean about fully comprehending "one day at a time". We can only act (or choose not to act) in the present. But trying to fight today's fight, tomorrow's fight, the next day's fight, etc... all today is too much. Just fighting today's is challenging enough. It's also like what they say about the best way to tackle a complex problem is to break it down into bite size chunks. Also it removes a personal dilemma for me - I don't have to decide about long term moderating or abstaining - I just have to worry about today - much simpler. Still not easy, but simpler.

[Marylou123]

Re: Sport Spurt

Hello All,
I haven't been doing a great job moderating. When I plan for abstaining, some future event always seems to be worthy of planning around. So it's time for a new short term approach. I can do anything for a little while, it's the long term thinking that derails me before I even get going.

Hi Sport - how's it going today? I felt exactly the same way about future events as I thought about quitting AL. There was always a birthday, holiday, wedding, or weekend that kept my plan to quit firmly ensconced at some future point. For too many years I was planning to cut down or quit all together, right after the next "event." The catalyst for me was the day my husband left. After 21 years of marriage. That was 3 1/2 years ago. I didn't stop for him though - I truly thought we were done. (We'll celebrate 25 years in Nov.) I quit and have stayed quit because I wanted what our long-timers seemed to have - peace and confidence, honest relationships and a meaningful future. Amazingly, only in sobriety, did I notice the not everyone got smashed (like me) when celebrating - in fact most didn't. Some didnt even drink AL - gasp!! That's just one of many lies AL gets us to believe.

One day at a time is a great approach. Here's another cliche (Dale Carnegie): yard by yard is hard, inch by inch is cinch. You can do this.

[Mr Vervill]

Re: Sport Spurt

T I just have to worry about today - much simpler. Still not easy, but simpler.

Yup, That's it in a nutshell. Break it down hour to hour, minute to minute if you must. If you feel like you have to set goals for yourself, some people do, make it simple. I'll try on week sober, or I'll try 30 days. Hope you're feeling good today.

[Sport]

Re: Sport Spurt

A quick report from yesterday: I was able to drink 2 less than the day before (as planned). I ate dinner early and started drinking later than my normal witching hour. Today, I am still deciding between another reduction or holding at yesterday's level again today.

Hi [MENTION=20527]Marylou123[/MENTION] - Right now I'm struggling a bit in anticipation of today's restricted drinking. I am again today delaying my normal start drink time but I'm feeling a strong pull to drink my normal amount. Congratulations on staying quit. For the few times that I fought for a short respite from a lifetime of drinking, I too felt peace and confidence. I like the Carnegie quote!
[MENTION=17632]Mr Vervill[/MENTION], that's an interesting question about goal setting. I have been a world class goal setter and a rather sucky goal achiever! So yes I'll make it simple. I want to manage this little drinking session that is coming up in a few minutes so it is no worse than yesterday. The ramp down plan, the how long do I abstain once I do ramp down, should I moderate or abstain - all those questions can wait for another day.

[Sport]

Re: Sport Spurt

Yesterday I drank one less than the day before and want to do the same today. That's it. That's all I have to do.

[Marylou123]

Re: Sport Spurt

Yeah Sport!

[Mr Vervill]

Re: Sport Spurt

How you today, Sport?

[Sport]

Re: Sport Spurt

Thanks [MENTION=20527]Marylou123[/MENTION]! Hi [MENTION=17632]Mr Vervill[/MENTION], struggling a little bit right now about to begin my restricted drinking for the day. Yesterday I had one less drink than the day before. For today, i just don't want to go backwards. I think holding at yesterday's level maybe the best I can muster today.

[Sport]

Re: Sport Spurt

OK - I held the same drink count yesterday as the day before - not great, but I'll take it. Thank goodness I consumed all of my favorite beverage type (beer) in the house a few days ago.

Turning now to today - it's Friday - a day synonymous with drinking, right? I keep trying to shut off my Future Think and just focus on today. Well guess what I want to do today? You guessed it!

Without all the nuanced in between options, here's my basic choices for tonight: 1) Half yesterday's drink count and make tomorrow Day 1, 2) Hold at yesterday's drink count and claim a moral victory that I didn't go backwards and be glad to have built a 3 day plateau that will make my eventual 0 easier, or 3) I don't even want to type it, but you all know.

Since this battle is raging live, right now, let's explore it a bit. Behold the brain dump: I hate #1, Option #1 you suck! I want to keep on drinking. Yep, I want to stay fat, continue to harm my body and I choose lazyness over ambition. Option #2, you only suck a tiny bit less. You're just a sad little holdover until you turn into that crappy Option 1. Option 3 - oh yeah, now we're talking. Screw all this. #3 is where the party is! I have plenty of time - I can ramp down next week or better yet, next month. Yes, perfect - next month is great for me. Now I'm really pissed that I didn't restock my beer inventory - you dumbass!! OK. OK. Deep breath.

I'll defer this decision for a little while and listen to a mindfulness session. Let's see if I can get some perspective (or sanity ).

[Sport]

Re: Sport Spurt

Posting here yesterday and listening to a mindfulness session helped me follow through with Option #1. So today is day 1! Had a good evening doing family stuff instead of my normal drinking zombie act.

[Marylou123]

Re: Sport Spurt

That's fantastic Sport. You are breaking the chain that keeps us from the wonderful stuff like family, self care, freedom to drive anytime, being unhung, etc. Great decision.

[Sport]

Re: Sport Spurt

Hi [MENTION=20527]Marylou123[/MENTION] - that's a good list - very true! I also have slept very soundly the last few days. Kept super busy today on Day 2, so no real trouble. I will be at a restaurant tomorrow night. I think I'll be fine.

[Mr Vervill]

Re: Sport Spurt

Good to hear of your decision [MENTION=23856]Sport[/MENTION]. Just work it one day at at time. I do know how hard it can be. Day 12 here.