At 16 I began drinking beer. Was allowed in all bars because I knew all the bouncers. So it moved to mixed drinks.
Was raised by an MSW and consulted so I know everything about disabilities and social problems.
Small amounts of mixed drinks. Nothing crazy.
Got bored of that and choose MDMA as my substance of choice, eventually moving onto Cocaine. Ketamine got involved for a small time but hitting a K Hole changed that.
At one time I had a 400 bottles of beer stacked in a jenga cube. The beer store was less than a minute walk away. Then I started entertaining people and learning how to mix drinks and hit about 40 bottles of mix in my apartment.
Learned how to drink hardcore alcohol with whiskey and scotch and run around in the snow and not feel a thing. Once I added cocaine to that mix which I always had under control and could put away and go to sleep because I was the bread winner with a job that could afford this. I was about 20 or 22.
Quiting cocaine led to severe alcoholism.
MDMA changed my life if I haven't mentioned that before, because I could deal with things and became a confident extrovert instead of an introvert. Serious life change but not addiction change. It on its own is awesome until some @hat gives you cocaine and ruins it all.
On/off hard beer and then hard vodka. For years and years.
Went to 3 rehabs (closed, free, and day treatment). Day treatment was the most successful but its the summary of what you have learned so its not the solution for all. Determination is a hardcore/hardcare.
Lost my wife, step daughter. Everything I cared and loved. Rebuilding with pet therapy.
My wife rescued me from a very bad situation and helped me detox. My GP actually visited believe it or not; thats unusual in Canada. I would once again return to cheap high alcohol beer from the states and then lapse on harder alcohol.
I have not done an illegal unprescribed drug in over 7 years.
I have managed 6 months AF at one time or another and have been in the position of not being able to eat which is hard to overcome. If you want more info about that PM me.
I'm now at a taper and about 6 units or fl/oz of 80 proof a day. Changed from beer which screws my stomach up and am using coolers. So progress is happening.
Drugs used or am using I will add as an edit as its quite a list and could get into how they coordinate.
Current Mirtazapine, Campral, Naltrexone.
Prior prescription drug use as follows;
Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) - turns out it increases drinking so beware.
Adderall - this was a stupid idea as after a couple weeks it caused severe relapse. Its like using cocaine so you can drink like crazy if you do lapse and the come down is insane. Does not last long enough for the job I was doing and doubling up means you are left with not enough for the month and you crash. Works really well but holy shit when you run out its not fun.
Trazodone - Wierd drug but helps you get off benzo's imho. Puts you to sleep. Similar to Mirtazapine but not the same.
Clonazapam - Highly effective if you need to get through a day at work and want to avoid AL withdrawals if you are not AL free and don't want to look like an idiot dry heaving or gagging.
Diazepam (Valium) - Super super effective drug to get off AL but highly abusable and I never have been down that path and pray it never happens. Though I do have some on hand for emergency.
Dimenhydrinate - So you can eat after a huge bender. Also I abused it for sleep purposes. But it has its purposes if used correctly. Its also an antihistamine.
Trintellix (Brintellix) - F that drug, made me super emotional and ruined my life and marriage. SSRI/SNRI's do wierd things after you have used MDMA so I'm curious what Cipralex will do again. Got some but afraid of it!
Omprazole - Really helps if you are maintaining a job but kills of flora in your stomach. Its a protein pump inhibitor. I think its now black labelled.
5HTP - Used only once because I'm afraid of serotonin shock syndrome and how it works with the antidepressants I use/used. I will have to do more research.
Current
Naltrexone - Wow this is something wierd and took a couple days to get used too but highly effective. (can be used daily, or with the Dr. Sinclair method if you want to control drink).
Mirtazapine - Cross for antidepressant and alcohol suppressent but it makes you a zombie in the morning for a bit, that passes in 2 weeks. Best so far out of antidepressants.
Campral - Awesome for recovery though really you don't notice its effects. Calcium might just be what does it. It just might be a waste of money.
Gabapentin - Early so far, couple SE's like foot tingling. Nothing much. Caused temptation to turn to 0 cravings in the last couple weeks.
B1, B100, C1000 as vitamins
Wait List I'm prescribed, but fearful of.
Cipralex (escitalopram) - An SSRI - Caused some crazy things during withdrawal; not recommmended until you are sober. But once I'm clean I'm giving it a shot again as it has the least issues of any SSRI.
Inhalers Spiriva Respimat, Salnutamol. Because smoking sucks and inadvertently inhaling glues and pipe primers and chlorine sucks.
There ya go. Diazepam (or gabapentin) and Dimenhydrinate (not with gabapentin) for the come down. Campral, Mirtazapine, Naltrexone for maintenance. The others are a little nuts. I will get a little more in depth as how they work together when I have more time.
Edit: To add Gabapentin to current use and what I know about it. This is considered a potential for replacement for valium for coming off alcohol to prevent seizures or as an eventual replacement for valium after your month of post valium stint. Not as effective, but also known to aid in cocaine addiction craving if that's your issue. Thankfully not mine. The SE's I'm just working out. It does make you calm and has produced an effect that I have 0 cravings. Tapered from 300 to 900mg a day nearly over 3 days. Suggested 900 right off the bat if using it instead of valium for the immediate detox. Even at 300 I had 0 cravings, but there is valium (5mg/day) in the mix for far to long which worried or worries me. Not sure what it would do alone to produce 0 cravings but I'll update this list and its effects as I remove one drug after another to see where or if cravings return. What not to take, antihistamines or motion pills like dimenhydrinate, so that can complicate matters for withdrawal and allergies. Do not take a calcium supplement or a multivitamin with magnesium in it as it can hinder gabapentin's effects. If you need magnesium, take it 2 hours prior or after your gabapentin.
More to come.
Was raised by an MSW and consulted so I know everything about disabilities and social problems.
Small amounts of mixed drinks. Nothing crazy.
Got bored of that and choose MDMA as my substance of choice, eventually moving onto Cocaine. Ketamine got involved for a small time but hitting a K Hole changed that.
At one time I had a 400 bottles of beer stacked in a jenga cube. The beer store was less than a minute walk away. Then I started entertaining people and learning how to mix drinks and hit about 40 bottles of mix in my apartment.
Learned how to drink hardcore alcohol with whiskey and scotch and run around in the snow and not feel a thing. Once I added cocaine to that mix which I always had under control and could put away and go to sleep because I was the bread winner with a job that could afford this. I was about 20 or 22.
Quiting cocaine led to severe alcoholism.
MDMA changed my life if I haven't mentioned that before, because I could deal with things and became a confident extrovert instead of an introvert. Serious life change but not addiction change. It on its own is awesome until some @hat gives you cocaine and ruins it all.
On/off hard beer and then hard vodka. For years and years.
Went to 3 rehabs (closed, free, and day treatment). Day treatment was the most successful but its the summary of what you have learned so its not the solution for all. Determination is a hardcore/hardcare.
Lost my wife, step daughter. Everything I cared and loved. Rebuilding with pet therapy.
My wife rescued me from a very bad situation and helped me detox. My GP actually visited believe it or not; thats unusual in Canada. I would once again return to cheap high alcohol beer from the states and then lapse on harder alcohol.
I have not done an illegal unprescribed drug in over 7 years.
I have managed 6 months AF at one time or another and have been in the position of not being able to eat which is hard to overcome. If you want more info about that PM me.
I'm now at a taper and about 6 units or fl/oz of 80 proof a day. Changed from beer which screws my stomach up and am using coolers. So progress is happening.
Drugs used or am using I will add as an edit as its quite a list and could get into how they coordinate.
Current Mirtazapine, Campral, Naltrexone.
Prior prescription drug use as follows;
Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) - turns out it increases drinking so beware.
Adderall - this was a stupid idea as after a couple weeks it caused severe relapse. Its like using cocaine so you can drink like crazy if you do lapse and the come down is insane. Does not last long enough for the job I was doing and doubling up means you are left with not enough for the month and you crash. Works really well but holy shit when you run out its not fun.
Trazodone - Wierd drug but helps you get off benzo's imho. Puts you to sleep. Similar to Mirtazapine but not the same.
Clonazapam - Highly effective if you need to get through a day at work and want to avoid AL withdrawals if you are not AL free and don't want to look like an idiot dry heaving or gagging.
Diazepam (Valium) - Super super effective drug to get off AL but highly abusable and I never have been down that path and pray it never happens. Though I do have some on hand for emergency.
Dimenhydrinate - So you can eat after a huge bender. Also I abused it for sleep purposes. But it has its purposes if used correctly. Its also an antihistamine.
Trintellix (Brintellix) - F that drug, made me super emotional and ruined my life and marriage. SSRI/SNRI's do wierd things after you have used MDMA so I'm curious what Cipralex will do again. Got some but afraid of it!
Omprazole - Really helps if you are maintaining a job but kills of flora in your stomach. Its a protein pump inhibitor. I think its now black labelled.
5HTP - Used only once because I'm afraid of serotonin shock syndrome and how it works with the antidepressants I use/used. I will have to do more research.
Current
Naltrexone - Wow this is something wierd and took a couple days to get used too but highly effective. (can be used daily, or with the Dr. Sinclair method if you want to control drink).
Mirtazapine - Cross for antidepressant and alcohol suppressent but it makes you a zombie in the morning for a bit, that passes in 2 weeks. Best so far out of antidepressants.
Campral - Awesome for recovery though really you don't notice its effects. Calcium might just be what does it. It just might be a waste of money.
Gabapentin - Early so far, couple SE's like foot tingling. Nothing much. Caused temptation to turn to 0 cravings in the last couple weeks.
B1, B100, C1000 as vitamins
Wait List I'm prescribed, but fearful of.
Cipralex (escitalopram) - An SSRI - Caused some crazy things during withdrawal; not recommmended until you are sober. But once I'm clean I'm giving it a shot again as it has the least issues of any SSRI.
Inhalers Spiriva Respimat, Salnutamol. Because smoking sucks and inadvertently inhaling glues and pipe primers and chlorine sucks.
There ya go. Diazepam (or gabapentin) and Dimenhydrinate (not with gabapentin) for the come down. Campral, Mirtazapine, Naltrexone for maintenance. The others are a little nuts. I will get a little more in depth as how they work together when I have more time.
Edit: To add Gabapentin to current use and what I know about it. This is considered a potential for replacement for valium for coming off alcohol to prevent seizures or as an eventual replacement for valium after your month of post valium stint. Not as effective, but also known to aid in cocaine addiction craving if that's your issue. Thankfully not mine. The SE's I'm just working out. It does make you calm and has produced an effect that I have 0 cravings. Tapered from 300 to 900mg a day nearly over 3 days. Suggested 900 right off the bat if using it instead of valium for the immediate detox. Even at 300 I had 0 cravings, but there is valium (5mg/day) in the mix for far to long which worried or worries me. Not sure what it would do alone to produce 0 cravings but I'll update this list and its effects as I remove one drug after another to see where or if cravings return. What not to take, antihistamines or motion pills like dimenhydrinate, so that can complicate matters for withdrawal and allergies. Do not take a calcium supplement or a multivitamin with magnesium in it as it can hinder gabapentin's effects. If you need magnesium, take it 2 hours prior or after your gabapentin.
More to come.
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