BLUESKY YOU HAVE TO COME BACK

[beatle]

BLUESKY YOU HAVE TO COME BACK

It's great to get the support from all of you. I have to admit that if I hadn't read the post about Bluesky before I got that nasty PM, I would have been terribly hurt. I might have even just left this site. Maybe even have taken a drink (which is what I felt like doing).

But since I knew Bluesky had received a nasty PM too, I realized there must be someone doing meanspirited things for godknowswhat reason. And letting that affect me would be giving them just what they want.

I am going to forward mine to RJ and I think you should too, Bluesky.

And everyone else, if you get a nasty PM (or if you have gotten one), you know what's going on. Don't take offense-- just send it on to RJ with an explanation.

[louise]

BLUESKY YOU HAVE TO COME BACK

Thank you all for going public about this and telling the names of the nasty private messengers. I'm glad you did not leave Beatle, you are not a hypocondriac and are very helpful to the people who are trying to detox. At this point neither Anon or Jamboree are listed as members so whoever registered as them just to send nasty messages has been removed. It would be nice if whoever is registering under different names just to send messages could be tracked but I don't know if RJ can do this. In the meantime I think we should all help each other out by posting a Beware of xxx on a new thread if we get a truely nasty post from anyone so others will know and alerting RJ immediately. Hope to see you soon Bluesky - we miss you.

[Roberta Jewell]

BLUESKY YOU HAVE TO COME BACK

Nefarious member

Wow, this is a first, gotta say.

The member referred to above (Jamboree) was indeed the one sending extremely hurtful PMs. As most of you must know, it's not my style to "out" anyone, but clearly the intentions of this individual were nothing but harmful, as documented by the messages forwarded to me, some of which you've not seen publicly.

Truly, I can't imagine what possesses a person to do something so destructive and hateful, particularly to those who are vulnerable. This person must need help and I can only hope s/he finds it.

It won't be in this forum, however. I've banned the member; noted the IP address; and we'll do what we can to ensure this doesn't happen again. I suspect this person is lashing out at the MWO program in general and not individual members specifically, so please, if you've been the victim of one of these PM attacks, consider the source and try your best to not take any of what is said personally. I understand it's difficult because the messages are brutal in that they are tailored to what has been posted.

Thank you, Arial, for reminding us of Eleanor Roosevelt's sage words: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Okay, easier said than done--I've grown a crusty thick skin over the past couple of years and don't necessarily recommend it--but I still think the advice is excellent. ;-)

Also, to clarify, there is no member named "ANON"; I believe that may have been a mix up in communication.

Thanks for letting me know about this and please contact me if any of you are bothered with abusive messages in the future.

Best,

RJ

[irishlady]

BLUESKY YOU HAVE TO COME BACK

Thanks RJ, I knew you would sort this out..

Love, Louise xx

[paula]

BLUESKY YOU HAVE TO COME BACK

Bluesky, words can be very cruel and hurtful, this person obviously finds your popularity
threatening, please ignore them,just treat them with the contempt they deserve,and carry
on as usual. You would be missed and this is obviously what this creep intends.
Good for you Beatle, you are certainly not a hypocondriac, I agree with what Louise said.
Love Paula.

[adagirl]

BLUESKY YOU HAVE TO COME BACK

I'm sorry for those who got the nasty PMs. I'm kinda new and don't know everyone, but Beatle is one of the names I recognize because he's been so supportive and posts a lot on the same threads as I do. Its just crazy that some hateful people will use a venue like this to lash out at people they don't even know.

I wanted to mention that it is possible to disable PMs if you want to. Not saying you should have to. But, I just did because personally I am not that into the private message thing anyway. If anyone has anything to say to me, they can post it on the General thread and I am sure to see it because I am on here all the time anyway. I never really liked PMs in general anyway because a lot of time it is a question/comment that other people could benefit from if it was posted on the board. And, on other boards, I've found that people use it as a way to gossip and I hate gossip so it just puts me in an awkward position. Anyway, so I turned mine off.

[xtexan]

BLUESKY YOU HAVE TO COME BACK

Hi, I thought I would jump in here, and post a few words about this.

First, I have received nothing but positive PM?s from the members here. A few exchanges have turned into longer term private communications, not for public consumption by any means. Supportive relationships many times are one on one, where intensely personal things can be shared with someone we trust. I believe that these types of communications are essential to a long term recovery.

Many of the PM?s I have received are personal questions, or specific questions on a particular element of my personal program. In most cases, I am only too happy to help any way I can.

In the past, I have seen certain members, who are counterproductive in their comments, and indeed inflammatory. In some cases, they are hurting bad, and are striving to cause others to feel just as bad as they do. We see it all the time in our personal lives. Individuals who are miserable, and feel alone in their misery. In their minds, the best way to communicate is to be cruel and mean to others, in an attempt to cause them to feel the same misery. This is sickness.

We had one member like this last year, who frequently attacked others publicly in posts, as well as privately. It was obvious that this individual was extremely ill, and needed help way beyond the support of this forum. I can only hope that they found it.

That said, I have received nasty communications on another forum I frequent. It has nothing to do with alcohol recovery, but automobiles of all things. Many of the posts there frequently turn into insult exchanges, where the end result is that the forum moderator moves such threads to an area called ?the trash can?. Many of you out there probably know of those type things as well. We can selectively block the PM?s of any member there that engages in personal attacks, and go on.

The ?Just Starting Out? section is a place in my mind, where the first steps to getting lives back together begins. The vast majority of the members here, are fully aware of the sensitive and fragile nature of each others condition. When I first joined, I was teetering on the edge of a major relapse after several months of sobriety, and this forum gave me the boost I needed to make the next rungs on the ladder.

A little understanding and compassion goes a long way. None of us need an attack on our sense of self-worth, especially in those precarious first days.
span>
So, BlueSky, I have read your great, inspirational posts from a distance. I stay mostly in the Long Term Section these days, as I feel the things I have to say now, are best posted there. Everyone, including long-termers like myself, needs more of your brand of positive thinking, and encouragement.

Please come back to the forum when you are ready, and make some magic happen. You are loved by many here already.

Neil

[rottrod]

BLUESKY YOU HAVE TO COME BACK

Bluesky, I know you are lurking right now. I saw your name. Please come back, you need us as much as we need you. Don't let that spineless coward run you off. Surely you've seen the outpouring of love and support here for you. You don't have to explain anything, just drop back in to your rightful place here with the rest of us. It truly has not been the same for some of us without you, and I didn't even know you very well at all.

Melissa

[bluesky]

BLUESKY YOU HAVE TO COME BACK

Thank you so much everyone

Good Day to Everyone here at MWO, and thank you over and over again for all your much appreciated support, you really are such a wonderful, caring, compassionate gathering of people and I am so honoured and humbled that I have the privilege to be able to reach out and talk to you at any hour of any day, and know that I am going to be looked after with Tender Loving Care, thank you so much, it means so much to me.

As we all know by now we have a "phantom" messenger in our midst, modern life, I suppose, anyway, I'm posting a portion of the mail that I posted in the Newbies June thread this morning as it covers this unpleasant topic, so here goes:

"Unfortunately, I wasn't around at the w/e as some very sad person "anonymously" sent me and other members some nasty PMs, which was pretty upsetting. But the long and the short of it is is that everybody rallied round and now the problem is in the midst of being resolved. We have an infiltrator who is not one of us and he/she obviously wants to cause havoc. Please if anyone of you has the same experience of nasty "ANON" PMs please get in touch with RJ immediately and she will correct the situation.

The good news is that I came out of this dreadful experience much better off; the support that I was shown here was absolutely amazing and I will never be able to thank everyone enough. You all pulled together to help those of us who had been affected by this joker and eventually got to the root of the problem. There are not enough adjectives to express how grateful I am to all of you, I am choked with emotion, sincerely, I mean it from the bottom of my heart, thank you all so much for your precious time and help.

As for the sad, sad person causing this unpleasantness, you will not win here, whatever you think, we as a family are too strong for you, so please leave us alone to get on with what we are here to do. Please go and get some help, you really need it, I feel really sorry for you and truly hope you get better soon."

Thank you sincerely from the bottom of my heart for all your kind supportive messages both on/off the boards, I have learned so much from all of you, it was truly an amazing experience, YOU are ALL truly amazing and I am honoured to be part of your wonderful family,

Warm regards to all here at MWO,

Blusky X

[irishlady]

BLUESKY YOU HAVE TO COME BACK

WELCOME BACK :h :h :h

[Flip]

BLUESKY YOU HAVE TO COME BACK

Great to see you back on line Bluesky !!!

[bootcampbarbie]

BLUESKY YOU HAVE TO COME BACK

now, there's my happy girl. now, i recognize that avatar. you are bold bright and beautiful. yep, hard to mess with a bunch of souls who rally around each other. like those scots in braveheart we are. one tough bunch and i bet we would look really hot in kilts. love happy endings. smiles bootsie

[ScoobyDoo]

BLUESKY YOU HAVE TO COME BACK

Good work Bluesky & RJ.

Scoobs xo

[tea]

BLUESKY YOU HAVE TO COME BACK

Heart warming to see a happy ending to this sadness.

L

[Change]

BLUESKY YOU HAVE TO COME BACK

Hi Bluesky,

Welcome back!