Tappering

[CER]

Re: Tappering

Good Morning Cer,
I just wanted to drop you a line and see how you are doing. Just something for you to think about....as mothers, wives, caretakers we put on many hats throughout the day, we have expectations of what is expected of us and well at the end of the day not everything goes well...because that is life. We are extremely hard on ourselves, if your anything like me i wanted everything perfect. Our children and spouses not always intentional take advantage of our drinking but it happens .... which leads to disrespectfulness, loss of communication and many other undisirable effects. When you take AL out of the picture you will get stronger and be able to get to know yourself better and love yourself more. (Actions are louder than words) Someone on here asked me why I drink ...my honest answer is I’m not sure and I don’t know when it got outta control only that it did. I just know now that I don’t have room for it in my life and I love the sober me, not the drunk me. I’ve relapsed too many times to count) my saving grace is being able to come here and have the strength to try again. So keep working at it till you have a quit that sticks!

Thank you Sky.
Not my children but my husband have I noticed take advantage of my drinking.
It was interesting seeing his reaction to me not caving for two days. By day two I could see he felt insecure. But I also know that when I do really quit it might shake shit up in a negative way for awhile.
Yes I'm hard on myself and trying to make everyone happy has snowballed into a loss of my identity.

[Inthesky]

Re: Tappering

Cer,
Just be gentle on yourself and work towards finding yourself again with no AL...life gets so much clearer with the freedom! One thing that helped me is focusing on myself and the now (this minute, hour etc) and letting things stay in the past...as I can’t change them but I sure is hell can learn from them.
Here is a quote that holds true to me
“Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be” Sonia Ricotti

[CER]

Re: Tappering

Cer,
Just be gentle on yourself and work towards finding yourself again with no AL...life gets so much clearer with the freedom! One thing that helped me is focusing on myself and the now (this minute, hour etc) and letting things stay in the past...as I can’t change them but I sure is hell can learn from them.
Here is a quote that holds true to me
“Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be” Sonia Ricotti

<3

[lifechange]

Re: Tappering

How are you today, CER?
What I find is that everything in my life becomes easier when I've had some time without drinking. I still have my life and the problems that go with it, but I have my head about me. I know better how to deal with things and I have more self confidence to stand by my decisions and the way I'm feeling. I know now, finally, that any "relief" alcohol gives me is short lived and comes with consequences.
We are here for you..

[CER]

Re: Tappering

I'm here again , so we all know what I've been doing since I was away.
First of all, I'm still afraid to go cold turkey. And as many of you said taper dose not work well. Sometimes it more than a bottle a night so with that thought I keep thinking I'm in danger if I cold turkey.
I hate drinking because I smoke more. My husband built a cigar room downstairs just for that purpose though and that is his nightly routine. I was thinking this morning about how I feel like I'm missing out on spending time with him if I don't go down after the kids go to bed and now I'm trying to rationalize the thought that if I don't go down for my healths sake then he has chosen to spend his time doing this rather something beneficial for both of us....something like that....anything to help me NOT go down there. I think he'd prefer it anyway and I'd end up being the one after months realizing that doing that would be more important to him than doing something healthy together....eh yadda yadda yadda.
I guess my plan is to use some things I've been reading in the tool box this morning and also try and eliminate the deprivation mode thinking. If I could only make my mind say at 6pm what it says at 7am.
It's humiliating coming back here as someone who didn't make it or try hard enough or failed but I'm guessing that's not the response I will get.
I used to be so healthy and now I sit and wonder what would I do without 10-15 cigarette breaks a day or no alcohol in my life. I quite smoking and drinking for 9 years once and now I can't recall what I did...oh wait, my kids were young and I was very busy. Now they are older and I guess I don't know what to do with myself. I'm blabbing. I'll try try again.

[available]

Re: Tappering

Hi Cer

I was a two bottle of wine a day drinker and just stopped. took some valium for a few days and that was it. i knew tapering would not work for me, im an all or nothing girl.
I always wondered what i would do when i stopped drinking and that i would be so damn bored but there are not enough hours in the day now. yes the first few weeks are tough but i was sick of letting myself down and those on here. i listened and listened some more, i read on here, watched youtube videos on alcoholism and hibernated. i have grown children now and have been sober 4 years, now i am here for them each and every day. i am one very proud woman with so much more living to do. I knit, i did a course, i have a job promotion, i now have a lovely partner and i am happy. never ever did i think my life could change so much when i stopped drinking but i proved myself wrong. You need to make the decision to do this for yourself, your hubs will do what he wants till he realises that you are serious and he will either stay in his cigar room or spend time with you, which is his choice.

Great work on coming back, head to the newbies nest and check in. being accountable is a major part of my success being af.

take care x

[Byrdlady]

Re: Tappering

CFR, I, too, went cold turkey. I drank a bottle of wine every day, more on weekends. I used fear of DT’s as an excuse for a very long time and make no mistake, none of us are doctors, but I have seen a LOT (thousands?) of heavy drinkers stop with no seizures. Of course, there is anxiety, after all, we arent getting our fix, but if you can stick it out, you will never have ro do it again.
Ive been around here for a long time, I have seen a couple people who were able to taper and then quit, but I can count those on one hand. Afetr all, if we could control our intake, we wouldnt be here. If what you have tried didnt work, why not give it a try? It worked for me.

Wishing you all the best! Byrdie