First day of sobriety, on Antabuse - Please help?

[Mighty_Chihuahua]

Hello, this is my first time to this website. I've just realized I have a serious drinking problem and it causing me a lot of grief in my life. What has led me to seek help from various different places is that I was actually taken to the emergency room as I has passed out at work from drinking vodka. I am so disgusted with myself and it is not only costing me my life, my job but also my relationships.

My husband is trying to support me but sometimes I don't think he is... The reason I started drinking too much is because I began to have a new desire to have children. My husband was very much against this idea and it has made not only my life hell but his as well. I was not drinking to excess like this before and I know I only have myself to blame but at the same time, I feel so much resentment and sometimes dislike him for not being there emotionally for me before. Every time we have a discussion, it turns into him screaming at me and it becomes too much for me...that makes me want to drink to get back at him. I know this is not a healthy way to cope but I just want to escape...

He has taken me to the doctors which is fine, I obviously have a problem (drinking at work?!?!! ugh) and i was prescribed Antabuse which I have started to take today...it's hard and it feels a bit lonely, alcohol was my comfort in so many ways. Now my husband wants to watch me digest the pill every morning before he leaves for work. It's humiliating.

I currently live in his country (my family and friends live in a diff country) and I am looking for work. He will not help me at all with this, financially or in any other capacity. It's really hard...

I am quitting drinking for myself and hopefully I can have the things I need like a job, a driver's license, a family.... all this is hard to believe it will happen as I am now considered by my husband mainly as a crazy alcoholic...it feels like an excellent excuse for him to not want anything with me.

Please help...I need support and was hoping I could find some here. I'd also love to help someone else too.

Thank you

[JackieClaire]

Re: First day of sobriety, on Antabuse - Please help?

[MENTION=24349]Mighty_Chihuahua[/MENTION], welcome to you.

I'm not going to overwhelm you with too much information just wanted to let you know we hear you. At the moment you're probably feeling very angry and resentful but let the antabuse work and get a few days sober. Please believe me even after a few days you'll start to feel clearer with your thoughts.
Go and introduce yourself to the Newbies Nest...........its where we all started. Link below.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/just-starting-out-/26685-newbies-nest.html

And a read through here when you've got some time.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/just-starting-out-/24253-tool-box.html

[available]

Re: First day of sobriety, on Antabuse - Please help?

Welcome Mighty

You have come to the right place, no one understands an alcoholic like another alcoholic, we get where you are coming from and know the hold that al has over us. Giving up is not easy but to me, it was the best thing i had and have ever done.

Please dont drink on the antabuse, read up on what happens with alcohol ingestion and be strong, you can show that you are a strong independent woman who can stop drinking because you want to.

Not drinking is the first step of a great life.

take care x

[paulywogg]

Re: First day of sobriety, on Antabuse - Please help?

Welcome Mighty_Chihuahua (cute name BTW) it can feel lonely at times having the extra time on your hands not drinking,take a peek around here,read,keep yourself busy I could feel the shame in your post, there's nothing to be ashamed of anymore cuz you're here trying to get help and a big plus is you're NOT drinking! I too used to drink at work,hid it for years so you're not alone there either but no more right? Here's to a new beginning glad you're here

[Lizann]

Re: First day of sobriety, on Antabuse - Please help?

@Mighty_Chihauhau, my story is similar to yours in a lot of ways. I was drinking at work too, lost my job because of it. I feel your pain and your loneliness. My husband watched me too, as did my family. I think they still do. With everyday that passes with me sober, the more trust my family has. It takes time to rebuild that trust. Take the pill, for your benefit and if he needs to see it so be it. My mantra was this is my punishment for what I have done to my family. I drank, whatever the reason, I drank, no one forced me to and I needed to claw myself out of that dark whole. The only way to do that was sobriety. One day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time. Keep busy, walk outside, read here, post here. Educate yourself. Work on your resume and develop sometime type of a plan. Start small, a little step in the right direction is a big deal. Please PM me, I'm here and I understand.

[Overit-still]

Re: First day of sobriety, on Antabuse - Please help?

Are you still around? How's it going?

[paulywogg]

Re: First day of sobriety, on Antabuse - Please help?

I haven't seen Mighty Chihuahua in awhile Over it,we all showed her pics of our Chihuahuas in the nest and scared her off maybe haha hope she's doing well