Won't be here for a while

[beatle]

Won't be here for a while

A billion thanks everyone. I'm still here. Kids sleeping peacefully, hopefully unaware of anything that happened. No questions were asked.

Watched some telly with the offended party. Now moving towards the confrontation. Was just asked "where's the bottle?" I realize its my fault that question should be asked. but it pisses me off anyway.

Any advice on how to proceed from here? I'm thinking a quick jump out the window would be the easiest thing-- problem is, we live on the first floor.

[diamond]

Won't be here for a while

What every one has said is so true!!
My hubby used to say I was totally drunk and I'd only had 3 glasses of beer, I could take about 8 to be drunk and going over !!
He used to accuse me of being drunk if I disagreed with him !!!

Any way sometimes a bit of breathing space in another room helps, which it seems to have, please Beatle stay online whatever happens, you did good for 4 weeks. It was only a small slip, you'll be up on feet again in no time. xxxxx

Robert - sorry, I do shout at my kids too much sometimes instead of being grateful, thanks for reality check xx

[kali]

Won't be here for a while

Beatle, you hardly had anything to drink it sounds like to me... Wait, talk with your husband tomorrow... let it rest for tonight.

Thinking of you,

Kali

[beatle]

Won't be here for a while

yeah I wish I could let it rest for the night but I don't think that's gonna happen. I am so tired of explaining myself that I feel like just pleading guilty and being done with it. Does anyone else feel this way?

[beatle]

Won't be here for a while

Robert Smith;152128 wrote: You have your kids and believe me that is what you want . I have to go to the cemetary
every time I want to visit my oldest son now. If they are all in their beds and you can kiss them good night, life is really not to bad.

Work out the other little details of life, cuz that's all they really are.

Holy shit Robert. That hit me smack in the chest. I want to hear your story (if you want to share it). Anyway, you really got me there-- oh thankyou god I kissed my beautiful kids goodnight in their beds and you are right, life is not too bad. thank you Robert. I am so sorry.

[rottrod]

Won't be here for a while

Beatle,
I think you should be truthful, apologetic as much as is genuine, and try to keep any anger toward yourself away from him. Any anger toward him should be expressed in a gentle manner as possible. Of course you know this but sometimes reminders are good. I'm just glad you got on line and didn't leave.

I really did not mean to accuses you of being drunk but from this end we never know what is on the other side and I was just trying to keep you from leaving.

I'll be thinking of you.

Melissa

[beatle]

Won't be here for a while

thanks melissa -- you have done me a lot of good and given me much to think about.

[ducky]

Won't be here for a while

Beatle, maybe just admit you slipped, apologize and try to move on? Ask for support if he can give it?

Glad things are "ok."

You will feel better tomorrow.

[adagirl]

Won't be here for a while

Persistence, not Perfection. This seems to be my motto in life. If you think about it, most things in life are achieved only by persistence. So, you had a little slip. Try to focus on how far you have come and all you have achieved. Your spouse has got to know how hard you are working on this (to be AF for four weeks is no small feat). I'm sure that whatever his reaction it is just because he is scared.

[sammys]

Won't be here for a while

Beatle I know how you feel, I know you have been doing good and it does stink that his happened. I sounds like old ways of dealing with things are still happening. I have been going through that and am trying to find new ways of communicating with my other half. He of course was always right cause I had drinks. Now that I have cooled it we still communicate the same way and it is upsetting to me. I wish I could offer some magic words but I can't seem to find them to use in my own life either.


Hang in there,
Sammys

[julie001]

Won't be here for a while

It would be lovely if everyone who drank too much had a wonderfully supportive and understanding husband--especially on those evenings when we really haven't had too much to drink. And it would be ideal for the husband if he didn't have a wife who had a history of drinking too much. The ideal hubby would be proud of you for moderating. Unfortunately, most of us do not have wonderfully supportive and understanding husbands. If you know in your heart that you weren't guilty of drunkedness, then don't overdramatize. In a non-drinking situation in the next day or two, let him know exactly how much you drank at the end of school party, and let him know that he needs to stop being so critical and judgmental. It takes a very special person to support a person who is trying to get a handle on an addiction. I am beginning to realize that we (over-drinkers) tend to tolerate a lot more criticism that we should because we feel guilty and have low self-esteem. Just hang in there and try to keep the lines of communication between you and your husband open. Good luck.

Julie

[Saint Jude]

Won't be here for a while

Amen to that... Very well said Julie.

Beatle- I'm so sorry you're having to go thru this... Hopefully, with time you & your Hubby will reach an understanding.
I know I've put my Hubby thru Hell many times... by my behaviour, and broken promises...
Even now after being @ MWO for over a year, there are times when he finds it hard to believe that I'm not drinking more than I am.. just because I used to drink so much more, on a daily basis .

I do hope you're doing OK tonight.:h :l

Just reading thru all of these posts makes me realize how blessed I am to have someone who is willing to learn & grow with me; and still believe in me after all I've put us both thru over the years...

sending you Hugs & prayers...
Judie

[rachel28]

Won't be here for a while

hi neatle, hope your bag is unpacked!

[beatle]

Won't be here for a while

SHIT, (x-cuse the language) I just cannot believe how much support-- and GREAT advice I have gotten from you all. No, I did not leave (bag is still packed but I'll unpack it soon). And you all were so right that leaving was the WRONG thing. We (me and angry spouse) talked for hours-- until 3:00 in the a.m. A lot of ugly things came out and I FEEL hungover now (though, I'm not-- 2 vodka drinks, come on! I used to pack back 10, no 15 of those no problem).

Well, the upshot is, back to AF, today is day 1. And you all helped me, no GOT me through it. thank you (I even showed the posts to my non-enabler other). This is where MWO has really saved me. thank you again. Hope I can help you all, too someday (though I don't hope you get in a similar situation, of course).

[beatle]

Won't be here for a while

p.s Rache, I like your new atavar. makes me think you will go a little easy on yourself.

I'm thinking about you today, seriously (tell me the time and I'll be there in your ESP or whatever it is) with your doctor's appointment. Please write as soon as you can and let us all know what happened and how you're feeling.