Won't be here for a while

[rachel28]

Won't be here for a while

sleep on it xx

[buffy]

Won't be here for a while

Hey Beatle, so glad to hear that things have blown over. It is never good for you to leave your kids, if someone has to leave you better let it be your husband or you will make things worse legally as well as hurting your kids. They need to see you make mistakes and then make things right. That's what life is all about. I have made some dandies...

[Kitty]

Won't be here for a while

Thank god for that. Glad the storm has passed.

Keep us posted Beatle. Everything will seem brighter in the morning.


Kitty

[Robert Smith]

Won't be here for a while

beatle;152106 wrote: garden girl, for gods sake get another avatar.

I think her avatar is cute, don't beat her up for trying to help.

I'm sure your embrassed about being asked to leave the school party but please do
listen to the advise of all and stay . Your kids will be very hurt if you leave . And to be blunt, the kids are as in most families top priority, not the significant other . I wish I had
your courage to give up for two weeks, I'm too weak to even get that far. You slipped
now get over it and do what is best for the kids............................................pl ease!!

[Robert Smith]

Won't be here for a while

Robert Smith;152122 wrote: I think her avatar is cute, don't beat her up for trying to help.

I'm sure your embrassed about being asked to leave the school party but please do
listen to the advise of all and stay . Your kids will be very hurt if you leave . And to be blunt, the kids are as in most families top priority, not the significant other . I wish I had
your courage to give up for two weeks, I'm too weak to even get that far. You slipped
now get over it and do what is best for the kids............................................pl ease!!

Geeze now I am one sorry ass slow writer am I not ?

[Cinders]

Won't be here for a while

Beatle,

My daughter went to AA meetings for several months and one of the things they discussed was the fact that even if you have been sober for years, family and friends often still suspect you of drinking.

Unfortunately, it is a price all of us will probably always have to shoulder for having broken trust so many times. It may not be fair, because damn it when we do well it sure would be nice to have a pat on the back and not the forever wondering....

In the end, though, we are doing this for ourselves and next doing it for them, so it is still worth it. Explain this to your husband, if you can.

My husband asked me the other night (when I had had nothing to drink, which is still a miracle) if I was too drunk to understand. I tried not to get angry, I just smiled and said, "Nope, sober as a judge, just stupid!!" It broke the tension.

Good thoughts and hugs your way,
Cindi

[beatle]

Won't be here for a while

good advice rachel, thanks-

Kiddies are sleeping now and I'm typing away , avoiding the big all-out about my little slip.
Makes me want to grab a big bottle and slug. (Don't worry , it won't happen, there's no alc in the house and we live miles and miles from anywhere to get the poison of choice). Just trying to make light of a shitty situation. (Thanks Starlight, I'm geting ready to laugh).

(and really, c'mon rachel, another avatar please? good god-- do you want me to find you one?)

[ducky]

Won't be here for a while

Whew! Glad you are still there. Hope you and your hubbie can have a calm talk. I am sure he is mad as heck but maybe there is some middle ground, where he can forgive a slip here and there if he sees how hard you are working? Let us know how you are doing. All your buddies here are on edge, hoping all will be okay with you.

[Robert Smith]

Won't be here for a while

beatle;152118 wrote: yeah, ducky, it all makes sense. everything everyone says here makes sense.

and now it's too late for me to leave 'cause the whole fam came home and then we all got caught up in putting the wee ones to bed and now I'm back here typing.

Don't know if anyone noticed my valise packed by the door.

Thanks for the crisis help all of you-- it was like being in the middle of a storm and there you guys were. Amazing.

And now the storm has kinda blown over but there's gonna be some hashing out tonight, you can bet. I might still need that valise.

Life sucks. But what else do we have?

You have your kids and believe me that is what you want . I have to go to the cemetary
every time I want to visit my oldest son now. If they are all in their beds and you can kiss them good night, life is really not to bad.

Work out the other little details of life, cuz that's all they really are.

[rachel28]

Won't be here for a while

i will find a better 1 later, get boys an bf out way , u can work this out im sure xxx

[buffy]

Won't be here for a while

Wow, so sorry to hear that Robert, I can't imagine much worse of a thing to have to deal with. Yes...life is not too bad. Buffy

[toughintexas]

Won't be here for a while

Beatle, glad the eye of the storm has passed....there is hope!!! I agree with Robert, the kids come first, everyone else in the household is an adult...your kids need you, don't make things worse by leaving them...You've done great, better than lots of us...I know how insane this makes you feel, and I'm sure being asked to leave the party was a huge blow to the self-esteem...but ya know what, they'll be talking about something else by now....It does take alot of time to re-gain the trust, we have been victims, and created lots around us too...they are most likely victims of traumatic stress too, caused by us! Try to just sit down with your hubby and remind him, how hard you tried, and its a struggle, and you can't do it without his support, just apologize....I know AGAIN, but I'm betting as mad as he is, he doesn't want to loose you, or tear up your family! Eat that humble pie and move on..... Tell him Bear said you "laid an egg"....can't shove it back in....gotta learn from it....cross your legs realllllly tight, and try to avoid another egg....I'm pulling for all of us!

[paula]

Won't be here for a while

Glad your still here Beatle, my husband often says to me " have you been drinking" when
I haven't been near one, force of habit I guess. We are all at risk of having slips, but that
one slip doesn't cancel out all the af days that we achieve.
Glad your feeling better.
Love Paula.x

[Guest]

Won't be here for a while

Beatle,
You are so valued here. I have great admiration for you and all that you have achieved. Your posts have really helped me personally to such an extent that I am now 2 wks. moderating and doing really well.........still can`t quite believe it.

As alcoholics, we always seem to be letting people down and letting ourselves down most of all. Thing is, non-drinkers and social drinkers cannot understand how our obsessed minds work. If only the non-drinkers could truly understand how difficult it is to tackle the booze, that none of us WANTS to be a drunk. Also, I think when we have sworn to our loved ones that we will change, them seeing us have even a little drink can put the fear of death into them and cause them to think that a little drink heralds us returning to our former drunken bubble of a life.

All us alcoholics incessantly reproach ourselves for the damage our addiction inflicts upon our loved ones, and I think those with kids, like you and I, perhaps reproach ourselves all the more.

Feel utterly relieved to see that you are staying, because your kids love and need you just as you love and need them.

My beloved granny (sadly, long gone now) was literally a pillar of virtue. She was the kindest, most compassionate of women. She raised 11 children and never drank in her life, but had this saying:"Better a drunken mother than no mother." So said I believe, because she really understood that kids really do need their mother.

Sending you much love,

Starlight Impress

[hart]

Won't be here for a while

((Beatle))

What starlight said. You are valued here. Your kids also value you as does you so. So you f--ed up. It happens. I did too. I'm on AF day 2 after 30+. Everything in the world is not black and white....THANK GOD! We learn from our mistakes, lick our wounds and carry on. Everyone will forgive everyone because that's what loved ones do. Sometimes it takes longer than other times but it happens. No one can beat us up more than we can ourselves........So you stop first.....:l