Not new; trying again

[NolaLola]

I've been here before and am (yet again) trying to moderate. I really don't want to drink tonight. Not sure the last time I haven't had at least one drink.

[mollyka]

Re: Not new; trying again

Not much of a moderating community left here I'm afraid...most of us know it doesn't work despite wasting years imposing rules on ourselves...good luck anyway and if you fancy just biting the bullet and taking the far easier option of quitting altogether there'll be plenty of support around the boards!!

[Lavande]

Re: Not new; trying again

Hi NolaLola!

Glad you decided to come back.
I joined in earl 2009 with the intention lof learning to moderate. What I learned was moderating is virtually impossible once you have crossed over to being a problem drinker. Some people will still try & actaully have some success when taking medication & getting counseling.
I was challenged with getting 30 AF days under my belt, then see if I still wanted to try to moderate. By the time I got thru the first two weeks I just knew deep down that quitting all together would be best for me. Accepting I had a hard time with AL & probably always will I decided to save myself & what was left of my sanity. You can do it too with a good plan & support. I urge you to drop in the newbies Nest for all the support you could want
Like Molly said - it’s easier to quit completely then make a great life for yourself!

Wishing you the very best!

Lav

[Pavati]

Re: Not new; trying again

Hi,

I'm another one who came here with the intention of moderating. I agree with Lav, although I do know some find success. As Byrdie says, once you google "problem" and "alcohol" and find yourself here, maybe moderation won't do the trick. That acceptance that Lav talks about was key for me. I couldn't have alcohol in my life AND have the life I want - they were incompatible. I was SO AFRAID of what that meant and what my life would be like, and now I realize I actually found freedom and peace. I shouldn't have been afraid at all!

Many chose the 30 day challenge just to clear the pipes as it were. See how you feel and genuinely look at alcohol in your life with a clear head.

Welcome - we're here for you.

Pav

[satz123]

Re: Not new; trying again

June 2018

Welcome, NolaLola
You're lucky to be realizing you need to quit before your life has gone completely off the rails. Unfortunately, the moderation section of this forum isn't very active anymore. However, a good first step for someone who plans to drink moderately in the future is to abstain for 30 days and see how you feel at that point. People who really can drink moderately won't find the 30 days to be a huge problem. After that amount of time alcohol-free, you'll be in a better position to clearly assess your situation.
The toolbox is full of ideas to make not drinking easier and you're welcome to ask any questions here. Many of us have been through 30 days or more and might be able to help.

Take care and all the best to you, NS

Above is the advice given to you 2 years ago by a wise member here on MWO [MENTION=18725]NoSugar[/MENTION]. How have you coped in those intervening years [MENTION=24193]NolaLola[/MENTION] ?
Have to managed to moderate ?

Like others I came here to 'moderate' my drinking. To me 'moderate' meant changing my drinking habits - lessening the amount I drank. The goal was to cut out drinking during the week - I thought that would be it.
After a while of fits & starts it dawned on me that I preferred my life without alcohol - so I picked my quit date & kept going.
It didn't happen over night - I was gentle with myself

Don't say 'NEVER again' yet ..... too scary at first - read & post daily ..... then when you are ready just try one day without alcohol and see how you feel?
Then post here & tell us how you feel ....

[satz123]

Re: Not new; trying again

Does anyone else get sick & tired of posting to no feedback ? :crying:
I am dangerously close to quitting trying to help others to quit !

[frances]

Re: Not new; trying again

Hi Nola - I'm with you - I've had a hard time with alcohol for years and years. I've had ups and downs with moderation and just came back to MWO yesterday due to the downs I've been having. Like you, I couldn't remember the last time I hadn't had at least one drink - definitely not since COVID and probably for quite awhile before that too. That's not moderation! So, I'm back here and I'm on Day 6 today. I'm not sure what I want to do...try to moderate again or finally bite the bullet and quit AL entirely? But even to try moderation I know that I need a good number of AL free days to break my drinking habit. So that's my goal right now. I'm trying to break the habit, and then will decide later if I'm going to try moderation. I did it with success for a long time years ago, then my mother passed away and I got back into my old habits of drinking too much and every day. Then I came back here (yes I've been coming around here for YEARS...what does that tell me? You'd think I would learn wouldn't you?!). Anyway, things got out of hand again. So here I am again.

How are you doing? Do you have a plan? Hope things are going ok!

[Slo]

Re: Not new; trying again

Welcome back, Frances! I know what you mean: I escalated when my dad died in 2011. That ushered in my first quit in 2012. Death & grief is always a tough one. Then I had a few months AF in in 2016, and lost it at my young sis-in-law’s drink-y “celebration of life” when she died of breast cancer. Now I have been sober for 2 years, so was able to weather my brother’s suicide this year without going back to drinking.

I’m glad you’re back, and I’m pulling for you!

[frances]

Re: Not new; trying again

Thanks so much Slo! I really appreciate it. I'm so sorry to hear about your brother and really glad that you have been able to stay AF through that. That must be so hard but drinking would do absolutely nothing at all to make it better. Congratulations on 2 years sober! I'm back for the first time in a couple of years and I'm so amazed at everyone's success. This community is absolutely fantastic!

[Anjicia]

Re: Not new; trying again

Hi all not new here either i was here before about 2 years or so but kept relapsing so could not see the point in staying and i did not be posting failures too often. With covid19 and phase3 lockdown here i decided to give it another try at least to communicate i mean i have all the onfo on staying off drink but putting in to practice is very hard for me. I am a serial relapser binge drinker whatever but moderation is a no no been there too. I am an all or nothing drinker. Well see it goes this time around x:heartbeat:

[Slo]

Re: Not new; trying again

Welcome, Anjicia!

I am finding this COVID/lockdown time to be a good time to build AF time, since so many parties and drinking occasions have been cancelled; so there’s less temptation!

I am glad that you are seizing this opportunity to become AF as well.

[Anjicia]

Re: Not new; trying again

I don't go to many parties or pubs so i am finding it hard in Lockdown with boredom loneliness and other triggers so i have to keep my head together or try my best. I am more of an at home drinker as i have little or no friends to hang out with anyway. I rejoined and joined up with a few meetup groups but a lot of events had to be cancelled because of covid restrictions but 2 walks are going ahead this weekend.